Frustration

MFPfriend
MFPfriend Posts: 1,121 Member
edited September 20 in Health and Weight Loss
*sigh* I guess this is pretty much a rant. I don't know how to handle things like this, so I think I'm going to rant/ask for your guys' help.

I've been counting calories for a month now, and I have lost between 10-12 pounds(my weight fluctuates). I've worked hard to lose weight.
Then there is my sister. She's a couple years older than me, but... I don't know... she doesn't want to listen to my advice. She's gained 40 pounds in the past year. She stopped working out, and she works at Baskin Robbins, an ice cream store. She weighs 220 pounds right now, and she is only 5'4". I can't get through to her to lose weight.

She gets angry at me when I ask her to stop bringing stuff like ice cream and cookies into the house, but she won't listen to me. Today, she came home with some FullBars. She saw the ad on TV and thought they would work.

I tried to explain to her that they weren't going to work because she didn't listen to her body about when she was full. I also told her she could get the same effect from two glasses of water, or a bowl of soup, or a salad. She just got angry and yelled at me.

I really want to help my sister, but I can't even mention weight or food around her or she flips out, curses at me, tells me to shut up. She is extremely immature, but I don't want her to end up like my mom, having gastric bypass surgery. And I am almost positive that she will gain the weight back, because she eats ice cream every day.

That was pretty much a rant... but also a plea for help. What can I do? I feel so lost.

Replies

  • imagymrat
    imagymrat Posts: 862 Member
    I feel for you, my SIL is the same way, unfortunately there's nothing you can do for her, but be supportive. She needs her AHA moment that she hasn't had yet, you need to back off and just let her be. It;s a hard thing to do but your relationship with her is most important. Invite her out to dinner where you cook, making it a subtle hint on how she can have tasty healthy food. Invite her out for a walk, or bike ride, little subtle hints without being in her face may work better...good luck.
  • rosalie_g
    rosalie_g Posts: 71
    I understand your frustration but I would say the best thing you can do is maybe lead by example. If she lives with you maybe she will see what you are doing to change and soon follow in your footsteps. Dr. Phil once said that "change is inspired not demanded" and I totally think this could be one of the cases where it may be appropriate. Also though remember that if your sis is not ready to change and make the commitment to better her life by changing her eating habits there isnt much you can do. It has to come from within her to make the necessary changes. Keep doing what you are doing and she may soon find you inspiring and follow your lead. Good luck!
  • Cassaaaaandra
    Cassaaaaandra Posts: 184 Member
    This is one of those hard lessons in life where you learn to stay out of it until she specifically asks for your help. She's going through a hard time and it might even be harder for her since diet/exercising seems to be working for you. Don't let that stop you from reaching your goal though, she will come around when she is ready. You can't force someone to diet and/or exercise and if you try it might encourage resistance even if she knows she'd be better off to follow your advice.

    This is once of those situations where you must take the initiative and lead by example. Hopefully she will follow suit :) I wish I could promise you she would eventually come around but I can't. Just tell her you love her :)
  • nanmosta1
    nanmosta1 Posts: 55
    Everybody has to want it for themselves. You can't want it for her. We all come to a point when we want change, be there for her when she reaches it, otherwise stop focusing on her as it will only create a situation where she will hide her intake and feelings from you.
  • MsT4u
    MsT4u Posts: 10
    I have had the same experience with my sister who is borderline diabetic but I had to stop pushing her. She has to want it for herself and no one else. Try to encourage her by leading by example. Focus on your new lifestyle and getting healthy yourself because you can't be any good to anyone else if your not good to yourself. It is very hard when those types of things are brought into the home but resolve to be strong and stay focused on your goal to get healthy. Believe me, she will take note. For some people it just takes a little longer. Try not to push since it usually backfires. Best of luck!
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