My name is Madison. This is my story.

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madisoneads
madisoneads Posts: 30
in Introduce Yourself
I am 24 years young. I have a husband who loves and supports me in everything I do. It's great, It's incredible. It's also detrimental. I have gained 10 pants sizes since we first got together 4 years ago. It's humiliating. He still finds me sexy and attractive and we still have sex. I do NOT at all feel sexy. When we go on dates it's usually to go out to eat. With being in a long distance relationship for the first part, we went out to eat when we were able to be together. It was mostly fast food.

I was diagosed with GERD, Gastritus, IBS, Hypothyroidism, Hyperglycemic, PCOS, Kidney stones, and Plantar Faciitis. All within the last 2 years. My body is breaking, it is no longer working. It's about time i take care of the one I have instead of wishing I had a different one. I have some struggles ahead of me due to these medical issues adding, and making it harder to loose weight. My family is all overweight and on the brink of diabetes. My husband and I have been trying to have a baby for 2 years now. It's not going to happen with all of this weight. It's just not. Not only are the cysts covering my overies giving me a setback by not having a reproductive cycle but I am going through an artificial menopause becuase of it. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE not having a period, LOVE it, but I do not love this setback. I have been doing research on what I can do to overcome some of these diagnoses. Unfortunately I'm reading a lot of things that are telling me that weight gain is a side effect of these disorders. I used to accept that and accept being fat. No more. I am going to overcome this. Even if I don't end up having kids of my own, because now that it's not been on the table anymore I'm not even sure if I want them, I want to get healthy.

Healthy to me isn't necessarily skinny. I just want to FEEL better. I don't want to have this insomnia at night and not want to get out of bed during the day. I don't want to burp up every food I eat, no matter how well I chew it. I was able to view my CT scan from the most recent ER visit for kidney stone. I was both so grossed out and motivated. I'd always told myself that I can't be tiny, I have too big of bones to be tiny. Well, I do have big bones, but I also have a lot of FAT. I could see it there, on the outside of a muscle layer. Fat. Gross, unhealthy, killing me, FAT. I want it gone. I know it's not going to happen to my overnight because I didn't put it all on overnight. Sure, putting it on was a hell of a lot easier than taking it off is going to be. It WILL be worth it, I know it will. It will be worth it when my husband can pick me up without grunting and groaning. I want to be able to be picked up and thrown on the bed for him to have his way with me. I want to look like the skinny girls he dated before me. I will get there. It will take time, dedication, support, and a hell of a lot of motivation. I will do this.

This is my story and I'm going to loose more and more every time I tell it.
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Replies

  • jacquirich
    jacquirich Posts: 105 Member
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    Welcome to the site. You sound very positive and I am sure you can do it. Whilst all these conditions can cause weight gain, if you lose weight they can also be controlled better.

    I have GERD, and since lossing 50lb have become mostly symptom free, just the occaisional lansoprazole if I have not eaten well. My daughter has a severe form of PCOS (which has required multiple surgeries) she has not had periods for years, but now she has lost 50lb as well, her cycle has returned and now is a regular 28 day cycle

    We are all here for you xxxxx I have requested to be your friend
  • madisoneads
    madisoneads Posts: 30
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    Thank you! I have accepted. When I started working out before, I actually got a trace of a period. Not a full blown one but a trace. I was actually excited about it as crazy as that sounds.
  • mazzer16
    mazzer16 Posts: 30
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    Hi Madison,

    I agree with Jac.. you sound so positive... am sure you will do it...
    I would love to be around for the day you post telling us your husband picked you up and throw you on the bed and had he wicked way with you..... I found this funny.. but very sweet....
    If you want a friend across the pond... feel free to add me..
  • MarlinWil
    MarlinWil Posts: 119 Member
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    You made me cry. I just wanted to hug you and tell you that you are going to do INCREDIBLE things in the next year. There are always going to be obstacles there, but the mark of a person is how they choose to move through the obstacles. Your attitude tells me that you are determined to make choices that count, and to use your situation as a catalyst to bigger and better things.

    Thank you for sharing your story. I would really love to be one of those who cheers you along. I had my thyroid removed in February, and have had a bit of an adjustment while waiting for my medications to get to the right levels, and had started early menopause after my last little girl was born (she turned 3 last Friday). Whilst I don't have heaps of weight to lose, I have been a slave to my body for the past couple of years, and been a little overwhelmed by a variety of things. This year is my year to get myself back to a point where (like you) I feel healthy and just fitter and happier. For sure, since joining MFP in June, things have started to turn around. My friends here are a big part of that - and I am lucky to be surrounded by very positive friends. What a wonderful resource when you are turning your life around - I hope that you gain as much (and more) from MFP as I have.

    Wil
  • GeorgieLove708
    GeorgieLove708 Posts: 442 Member
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    So proud of you Madi!!!! I really don't have much to comment on because you and I have talked about all of this in person :) So, here's a bump for others to see your post. <3
  • mogletdeluxe
    mogletdeluxe Posts: 623 Member
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    Hi there Madison - and welcome.

    You write and express yourself incredibly, and sound so determined - half the battle right there :)

    Here as a fellow soul cyster, and wishing you all the best xxxx
  • shae68143
    shae68143 Posts: 422 Member
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    What an inspirational story. You CAN and you WILL do this; you have all the tools you need here, plus so many who will cheer you on in whatever capacity you need (me included even though I don't know you from the next person).

    You are beautiful now, you will be beautiful then.

    Congrats on taking the first step in your journey to a better you.


    Shae
  • teepeetim
    teepeetim Posts: 99 Member
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    Very touching. I wish you all the best of luck. But it's not luck. I am sure you know it will take a long, long time. It will feel futile. It will hurt. There will be ups and downs.
    Then one day you'll notice a small change. Then another.
    Then you really get motivated.

    I went through a painkiller addiction , ate like a pig, never exercised, and ignored my wife. When she had enough and left, it opened my eyes.
    I haven't looked back. I'm doing great. I am alive. I am a new man. I have no use for painkillers. Or any drug.

    You will have the same revelation.

    Be strong !
    Tim
  • mssoulrebel_77
    mssoulrebel_77 Posts: 79
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    One thing I love about this site is that if you browse through the success section of the communnity message boards - you are guaranteed to find someone who used to be in your current position in some form or another and who has successfully lost weight. You can do it - and this site will help. There are wonderfull people here who are in different phases of the journey ready to cheer you on. Yeah you get the technical support from MFP by being able to track calories (especially on the apps - LOOOOVE being able to scan barcodes) but more importantly is that you get an overwhelming amount of emotional support.

    My favorite quote - if it helps - is "Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels"... if that holds true - and I'm sure it does - I've GOT to find out how being skinny feels :-)
  • Shazamablam
    Shazamablam Posts: 20 Member
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    Good luck Madison! You have made the biggest step by writing that heartfelt blog! I look forward to reading about all your progress!!
  • aholly70
    aholly70 Posts: 577 Member
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    Welcom Madison, You ill get there one day at a time, you have a great personality about it all & your story was emontioal,feel free to add me.
  • kittybear86
    kittybear86 Posts: 341 Member
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    Welcome to MFP :) You come to the right place to not only make a change,but to also make friends on your journey with you.Feel free to add me,and together we can support each other.
  • MrsWonderland
    MrsWonderland Posts: 107 Member
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    I dont feel sexy enough for my husband even though he does everything he can to make me feel that I am. 4yrs ago we got married and hes into fast food and cooks so good, I put on weight because of it. I'd love for my husband to pick me up and throw me on the bed too without straining. I dont have alot of health problems, but have been through alot of stress caused by my family, 3 miscarrages almost died from one of them and think I might have fibromyalgia. I gave up wishing to have his child, its just a faded dream now. Its still a problem some days not wanting to get out of bed and get things done around the house.

    Thank you for sharing your story, it brought tears to my eyes and am going to send you a friend request, I would love to help encourage you in this weightloss journey. I also would like to hear your story of victory when that time comes.
  • momof3and3
    momof3and3 Posts: 656 Member
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    Welcome Madison!

    Remember, this is a journey to a new you, there will be hills in this journey, some you will conquer quickly, others will be a struggle, but with perserverence you can conquer them, too.

    A positive mental attitude is key, and it sounds like you are already there!

    Take each day as it comes, the good, the bad and the ugly. You have found a great site for support and motivation!
  • bertoliniracing
    bertoliniracing Posts: 20
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    Hi Madison

    I have been on this site for a while on & off finally think I have the inspiration that I need for this journey. My son is getting married in 1 year. I don't want to be the fat mom at the wedding. I want to be the mom he used to have. You can add me as a friend I would be glad to email with you. I also have hypothyroidism, PSOC, pre diabetes. We got this girl we can break this cycle.

    Lisa
  • jyow01
    jyow01 Posts: 123 Member
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    You will get there just take one day at a time. Feel free to add me I will be glad to help you with motivation along this journey.
  • MonicaLee92
    MonicaLee92 Posts: 222
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    Welcome! Good for you, good luck, I think you'll love it here! :)
  • misfit34
    misfit34 Posts: 104 Member
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    Hi Madison! Welcome to MFP. Your attitude is an awesome inspiration. I look forward to seeing your journey and hope that you feel free to add me as a motivating friend.
  • madisoneads
    madisoneads Posts: 30
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    Yeah you get the technical support from MFP by being able to track calories (especially on the apps - LOOOOVE being able to scan barcodes) but more importantly is that you get an overwhelming amount of emotional support.

    My favorite quote - if it helps - is "Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels"... if that holds true - and I'm sure it does - I've GOT to find out how being skinny feels :-)

    Being able to scan a barcode sounds AWESOME! I don't have a smart phone unfortunately, but that is really cool!
    I too have heard that quote and it is a great motivator for sure!!
  • madisoneads
    madisoneads Posts: 30
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    Hi Madison,

    I agree with Jac.. you sound so positive... am sure you will do it...
    I would love to be around for the day you post telling us your husband picked you up and throw you on the bed and had he wicked way with you..... I found this funny.. but very sweet....
    If you want a friend across the pond... feel free to add me..

    Thank you so much! I can't wait for the day either.

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