Do you just KNOW when you want to marry someone?

Me and my SO have plans to get engaged soon. We've been together 3 years and both feel like we want to have a life together. I'm the one that wants marriage more (I dunno why, it just seems like the right thing to do) and I've told him what I want. He's happy to make that commitment because he knows he wants a life with me too. Some people just fear commitment, I guess?

Whats the rush?? if you are going to happily married forever let it start when both people are completely ready for it.

my boyfriend and i will be getting engaged in the next month and we've been dating for nearly 8 months. not very long in a lot of people's eyes but our relationship is insanely strong. we know without a doubt that we want to be together forever. and yes we do fight from time to time but that doesn't mean we love each other any less. i guess yeah... you do just kinda know when it's right. if your boyfriend seems iffy about it... it might not be the right time for him. or maybe he is just nervous about marriage in general. it's a scary thing. so many failed marriages and SO man challenges that come with being married to someone. it's good that you know... maybe talk to him about it and see how he feels deep down.

My fiancee knew right away. And after about 2 months, I knew that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him. So yes, I feel like you do just know. That being said, my relationship has gone very quickly and that isn't for everyone.

When me and hubby started dating, I didn't want to get married (i have 2 failed marriages in my wake.....) he was a commitment-phobe, and although he was OK with being BF/GF, he had trouble saying "I love you" and talking about marriage. WELLLL 2 years later i knew he wanted to have kids and I told him he should find someone younger then, I was in my mid to late 30's and he hadn't even proposed. He flipped out about being pressured into marriage and blah, blah, blah. So i told him i was "setting him free" to go figure out what he wanted. Ya it took about a week before he was talking crazy about marriage and 'my new last name' and on and on. Total change in such a short amount of time. A few months later there was an amazing engagement ring in my Easter basket that he designed himself (he even hand-picked the diamonds and everything). SO sometimes men (and women) just act strange like that, doesn't mean anything. Neither of us just KNEW at first sight we would get married, but things just work out how they should. BTW we have 4 and 1/2 years very happily married now with a beautiful 3 yr old son....... hang in there, he sounds like my hubby back then, LOL!

I've never been the kind who wanted to get married. But with him, I knew 6 months in and he did, too.

Same here - before I met my husband, I did not want to get married at all. I wasn't even interested in dating.

My husband proposed after a few months. I already knew by then that I wanted to marry him.

it might be different for different people. For me it wasn't knowing that I wanted to marry someone -- it was I knew that I wanted them in my future, well, forever. It wasn't about making a commitment, it was about acknowledging what was already there.

My humble opinion.... you know. You know within the first 6 weeks of meeting someone. I'm not saying get married in 6 weeks. You know you want to invest time in this person. If you've been together for 2 years and marriage has never come up and I'm talking 21 and older people then it's probably time to move on. One or the other person isn't that into the other person. Hanging on waiting for that lovin' feeling is just a waste of each other's time.

Just my 2 cents.

My humble opinion.... you know. You know within the first 6 weeks of meeting someone. I'm not saying get married in 6 weeks. You know you want to invest time in this person. If you've been together for 2 years and marriage has never come up and I'm talking 21 and older people then it's probably time to move on. One or the other person isn't that into the other person. Hanging on waiting for that lovin' feeling is just a waste of each other's time.

Just my 2 cents.

Since this poster brought it up, I'll add in my basic thoughts outside of what I've done.

I think you should know within a year of dating them. Don't necessarily get married or start talking about it during that year, but you should go through enough in that first year that you know whether or not this is the kind of person for you. If you're unsure after that year, I just don't think it'll work. You'll be wasting your time (assuming you want to get married).

I dated and didn't want to settle down till I was older. Then I met my hubby and he changed all of that. I just knew it was him and been married for 5 yrs now, still going on strong :bigsmile:

So I was wondering, if you've been with someone for a substantial amount of time and you love them a lot...you also aren't against the institution of marriage, it's something you're open to...then do you just KNOW when you want to marry someone you love?
I feel like sometimes my boyfriend feels pressured about marriage and I don't think it should be that way if he actually did love me and want to be with me long term.

If you actually loved him you wouldn't want him to be pressured into doing something he didn't want to do.

If you loved yourself, you wouldn't want to be with someone who made to compromise something so important to you.

That said........dudes are weird and different. Some guys are just weird and ......dudey about that stuff. If he's told you he'll marry you some day, and you want to get married....then I say just let it go. He said he would....accept his love and live your life. If it's super important to you that it happens in a certain timeline and that is something that is a problem between you.....well that's something you need to be having conversations about.

But life in relationships is a lot easier if you accept their words and stop looking for hidden meanings. If he says he loves you, accept that. If he says he'll marry you someday, accept that. If you think he feels pressured....ask him. And then accept his words.

I wanted to get married although we didnt rush into it. We were young when we met so we waited 6 years to tie the knot. I fell in love very quickly but was afraid of getting divorced. Married at 24 and have been married 24 years now. I felt like I couldnt live the rest of my life without him. I always wanted to be with him. Just sayin.
If he had it his way we would have married as teens.:noway:

My guess is that there are as many variations as there are couples. We dated a couple of years before I knew I wanted to marry her but when I knew, there was no doubt. 30th anniversary in January.