Please help me encourage a family member!

annah1212
annah1212 Posts: 6
edited September 20 in Motivation and Support
I am looking for some suggestions on how to help my father get on the road to healthy eating. Usually I am pretty good at starting someone off but were talking about my stubborn meat and potatoes only father here. He does not like to cook for himself so he ends up at Dennys 3 times a day. He is prone to have strokes due to his bad heart and has not been very nice to his body over the years (18 years sober this year) yeah dad! He does not like chicken or veggies really and loves those sweets. You dont have to make those :wink: I want my dad around to see me have kids some day. What can I do to help? Thanks guys

Replies

  • BamaRose0107
    BamaRose0107 Posts: 635
    My dad is the same way. I would love some suggestions also.
  • TBinol
    TBinol Posts: 1
    Unfortunately, a person has to come to the decision to do something about their health on their own. You could let your dad know that you love him and want him around for a long time, and you are worried about his health. Also be a good role model! :flowerforyou:
  • Deweypc20
    Deweypc20 Posts: 68 Member
    my father is the same, and my mother is the enabler.

    She always says "I have to cook him this he won"t eat anything else"

    ie fatty, carb full foods, he uses lots of salt, and eats ridiculous portion sizes.

    It took a small miracle to get them to 1% milk, and to whole wheat bread.

    good luck looking forward to ideas.
  • drvvork
    drvvork Posts: 1,162
    I wish I had an answer for this same question... *sigh*... my Mom and Dad (God rest their souls) could neither be totally reasoned with as far as eating habits. I cared for my Mom her last 11 years and I tried to monitor her foods - but I had brothers bringing her stuff in that she shouldn't have and I even brought her stuff home (thinking she could have 'some':happy: ) and she would eat it all up in a matter of a day. It is hard to watch this but there really isn't anything anyone can do until they want to do it. Oh... congratulations on your Father's sobriety!! That is a step in the right direction. :bigsmile: I sure wish you lots of luck in this adventure. :flowerforyou:
  • Ashia1317
    Ashia1317 Posts: 415
    I'm sorry, are we related?

    I am having the same problem. While my mother has struggled for years to get us all on a healthy track, I am regretting now that I hadn't listened to her. She tries so hard to cook well balanced meals for my family (and myself when I visit) and my father will some how sabotage it with either too much dressing on his salad or salt on his potatoes or eating my sister's plate when she doesn't finish.

    Unfortunately TB is right - a person, himself/herself, has to come to terms and make that decision on their own.

    My father has had 3 heart attacks in his lifetime all in about a 10 year span. It hurts me to see him eat a 22 oz steak when we go out to dinner. So now I don't go out that much with them - I don't want to partake in that lifestyle on an every week basis. He know even has snacks horded in his office at home. And I too, am fearful he won't be able to live to see his grandchildren or even walk me down the isle. The hardest thing for me, other than looking at him in a hospital bed for the first time when I was in 13, was hearing just a year ago he's now on insulin for his diabetes. My heart broke because I know he's better than that - and he could be better than that if he'd just follow the doctors orders and get his @$$ in gear.

    The best thing to do is just be positive and do your best to be a good example.
  • nisijam5
    nisijam5 Posts: 9,964 Member
    Schedule an MDs appointment to review blood sugar, lipids and BP...go with your dad and request a nutritional consult...sometimes, it's the MD that has a little more power than us.
  • Nanalmw
    Nanalmw Posts: 15
    My husband is the same way. I cooked what we wanted for so long that we both balloned up!! But now that I am changing things (it's been almost 3 months), he has SLOWLY gotten on board. He does the grocery shopping because he says I spend too much and gets a lot of yucky stuff, but when I tell him I can't eat this or that, he used to say "That's ok, I'm not on a diet". He has started exercising with me, because he has figured out that I am going to do it with or with out him. So I guess, you will need to lead by example. But most of all, I had to sit him down and tell him how I REALLY felt. Along with my actions and my heart to heart, I believe, is what has turned things around. So don't be afraid to tell your Dad how you really feel and sharing that with him will make him realize just how much he means to you and visa versa!
  • 34at35
    34at35 Posts: 318
    All it took for me to make the lifestyle change was for my doctor to tell me that I likely would be not around to play with my granddaughter in 10 years if I didn't do something about my weight. Wow! It was like getting punched in the mouth! I was on 3 meds for Blood Pressure, 1 for cholesterol/triglycerides, and he had just increased my metformin to try to control the blood sugar, which was rising fast.

    Now, about 15 months later, I am on no meds at all, have lost 115 lbs, dropped my waist size from 46 to 34, and feel like I'm 32, not 62.. Show this to your hubby and ask him to do it for the ones who love him, if not for himself.
  • barbarella
    barbarella Posts: 609 Member
    Woweeee........... 34at35 is the perfect Success Story! BRAVO!!!!! :drinker: :flowerforyou:
    In just over a year he made MAJOR lifestyle changes to ensure he'd be alive & healthy for himself & family!

    That is the kind of resolve that has to come from within..........
    With encouragement from others, like family & medical professionals.

    I'd also encourage your father to get a complete medical exam with nutritional counseling.
    Then you can kindly remind him what was said and help him stay the course.

    Years ago my father's cholesterol was too high. He cut way down on foods like red meat & ice cream & ate lots of beans. His doctor was amazed at the lowered cholesterol numbers, but wasn't very interested in how he did it! So you need to work with someone who can help with the diet & exercise factors. Not all doctors are hip to that, DUH!

    Best of luck to you!!! :love: :flowerforyou: :heart:
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