personal problems have got me off track

mel_loomans
mel_loomans Posts: 12
edited September 18 in Health and Weight Loss
My boyfriend of three years broke up with me because he thinks he may be gay. He tells me this just days before my birthday in which I have already made reservations, booked limos and planned an entire outing for my closest friends, their boyfriends and I.

The worse thing is that I am turning to food to comfort myself. Chocolate bars, cookies, chips. I am gaining back the pounds and breaking out too.

What should I do to make myself stop freeting about the situation enough to put down the truffles, kleenex and get back on track with my life and diet???

Replies

  • mel_loomans
    mel_loomans Posts: 12
    My boyfriend of three years broke up with me because he thinks he may be gay. He tells me this just days before my birthday in which I have already made reservations, booked limos and planned an entire outing for my closest friends, their boyfriends and I.

    The worse thing is that I am turning to food to comfort myself. Chocolate bars, cookies, chips. I am gaining back the pounds and breaking out too.

    What should I do to make myself stop freeting about the situation enough to put down the truffles, kleenex and get back on track with my life and diet???
  • littlespoon
    littlespoon Posts: 165
    Oh Sweetie, thats so hard.

    You dont have much weight to lose (you look great by the way), so dont feel guilty on top of everything else.

    Call a friend and go for a walk maybe, talk it through
    Give yourself time to grieve, be sad and go through the feelings; then you will be ready to get back on track again; with everything.

    Good Luck x
  • yellow_pepper
    yellow_pepper Posts: 708 Member
    Put down the truffles, but don't put down the Kleenex. Cry this one out until the tears stop.

    After my last breakup, I went over to one of my best (girl)friend's apartments and cried my eyes out all the way there, and for about an hour at her apartment, and over a late lunch of pumpkin pancakes. I cried when I spoke with him later that night, and I cried on the phone to my sister ... But then the tears dried up and I was done. I even kept my plans to visit the country where I was supposed to meet his parents (a 10-hour flight away). I didn't meet them but I had a blast with other people I met.

    As for your diet, these sweets seem to be making you more upset, not less. I challenge you to pick up whatever is less and chuck it in the garbage. Really throw it in there and do not rescue it, whatever you do. If you think it's a waste, remember it's a waste whether it's in the garbage or on your hips.

    Then, face the reality of this party. Do you still want men to attend? If so, do you have a go-to guy who can cheer you up and keep you lughing all night? And if not, would your girlfriends be up for a girl's night out? Or a spa day? Nothing like a spa day to get you back to treating your body right.

    Most importantly, understand that this is not your fault at all. While his timing could have been better, in the end, if he is gay, it's better for you to know than not. Now you can find (or be found by) an amazing man who will want you and only you for much longer than 3 years.

    So when you're ready, trade the truffle for some lip gloss and the kleenex for mascara, and show them all how beautiful and irresistible you are. Then party like a rock star!

    Happy birthday! :flowerforyou:
  • walnut
    walnut Posts: 216 Member
    Oh hon, I'm so sorry for your loss. Ending a relationship is always hard, especially when it's unexpected.

    The absolute best way to feel better is to take care of yourself. I can pretty much guarantee that you will feel better if you try to eat regular, well-rounded meals, be moderate with the junk food, and get a little exercise every day. That said, sometimes a little self-indulgence feels spot-on at first, but don't let it become a habit.

    As far as your boyfriend's sexuality, thank god you and he are finding this out now rather than even further down the road, with who knows, maybe a marriage and kids to worry about as well! And, I don't know if this is something that is on your mind, but sometimes people take it personally when a significant other comes out as GLBT. It is in no way a reflection of your desirability to men - you cannot single-handedly change anyone's sexual orientation any better than you can change their height. And, you are not the only person this has ever happened to. Heck, my first real boyfriend later came out as gay.

    In short, my advice is to be gentle with yourself. It's okay to grieve, but try not to hurt yourself in the process. In time, you will feel better quicker if you treat yourself with care. :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou:
  • barracudamuscle
    barracudamuscle Posts: 313 Member
    Sorry about your relationship taking a dump, sad to say it happens oh too often in life, every situation is different. Speaking from experience the best thing you can do now is focus on you, and your family and friends. I put alot to the back burner with my exgirlfriend long story short cheated on me after 2 years. I rebuilt and moved on ( it was terrible and I couldn't see moving on, but did ) Im not going to tell you it will be ok, youll get over it, yada yada because I heard the same things and thats not what you want to hear! Just focus on you, your friends, I know being the third wheel sucks, I did it for over a year and a half! ALl my friends put me on the back burner to their girlfriends/boyfriends and I was left alone many times :frown:

    Hang in there and trust me, he's missing out, judging from your picture you should have no problem finding mister right, that is when you are ready, and no time sooner, don't rush it, its all about you now!:flowerforyou: :heart: :drinker:
  • Helawat
    Helawat Posts: 605 Member
    Put down the truffles, but don't put down the Kleenex. Cry this one out until the tears stop.

    After my last breakup, I went over to one of my best (girl)friend's apartments and cried my eyes out all the way there, and for about an hour at her apartment, and over a late lunch of pumpkin pancakes. I cried when I spoke with him later that night, and I cried on the phone to my sister ... But then the tears dried up and I was done. I even kept my plans to visit the country where I was supposed to meet his parents (a 10-hour flight away). I didn't meet them but I had a blast with other people I met.

    As for your diet, these sweets seem to be making you more upset, not less. I challenge you to pick up whatever is less and chuck it in the garbage. Really throw it in there and do not rescue it, whatever you do. If you think it's a waste, remember it's a waste whether it's in the garbage or on your hips.

    Then, face the reality of this party. Do you still want men to attend? If so, do you have a go-to guy who can cheer you up and keep you lughing all night? And if not, would your girlfriends be up for a girl's night out? Or a spa day? Nothing like a spa day to get you back to treating your body right.

    Most importantly, understand that this is not your fault at all. While his timing could have been better, in the end, if he is gay, it's better for you to know than not. Now you can find (or be found by) an amazing man who will want you and only you for much longer than 3 years.

    So when you're ready, trade the truffle for some lip gloss and the kleenex for mascara, and show them all how beautiful and irresistible you are. Then party like a rock star!

    Happy birthday! :flowerforyou:

    This is amazing advice. It's beautifully written with the deepest emotion and sincerest advice.

    Soak it up because Yellow_Pepper hit the nail on the head when she said, "As for your diet, these sweets seem to be making you more upset, not less...So when you're ready, trade the truffle for some lip gloss and the kleenex for mascara, and show them all how beautiful and irresistible you are. Then party like a rock star!"

    I know you can get through this but please don't stop your weight loss efforts and everything you've been working so hard for on this one moment. I want to see you happy with your choices :flowerforyou:
  • anewbeginning
    anewbeginning Posts: 53 Member
    I thought that was great advice also....probably the best revenge is looking fantastic the next time you see your ex-boyfriend. :flowerforyou:
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