Eating disorders supportive people

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bloodynails
bloodynails Posts: 5 Member
in Motivation and Support
Hi! My name is Cristina.

Just like many other girls here in mfp, I have an ED (EDNOS). Since I was twelve, I've been struggling with my weight. My highest weight has been 185lbs, when I was 5.1ft. For a twelve years old girl that's way too much. Anyways, dieting and such made me fall into bulimia and later into ednos (I restrict food but I am not underweight). Right now I am 5.45ft weighing 133lbs.

I wanted to find someone who has the same problem as me, or someone who could get to understand and support me. I don't think I'm ready for recovery (I can't help but eat very few calories) because I feel I'm not sick enough and that I don't deserve any help when there are so many lighter anorexic girls out there that are dying everyday.
I can't help but feel very alone right now. I post comments and no one seems to be there to support me.
I want to make clear that I am NOT pro-ana or pro-mia or anything of that crap. Eating disorders are a very serious problem and illness.

Thank you for reading, and please don't judge me and start telling me how stupid I am for doing what I do. But it was never a choice.
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Replies

  • NyimaR
    NyimaR Posts: 108 Member
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    Hi Christina,
    I've not got any experience with eating disorders but I just wanted to say that I really hope that you can find someone who will go through this with you.
    NyimaR
  • jewelmarie793
    jewelmarie793 Posts: 54 Member
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    I'm here for you
    Add me!
  • AbsoluteNG
    AbsoluteNG Posts: 1,079 Member
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    Hi Christina,
    I've not got any experience with eating disorders but I just wanted to say that I really hope that you can find someone who will go through this with you.
    NyimaR

    Over eating is also an eating disorder. If you are obese then you most definitely have an ED. I haven't looked at ur profile so I'm not directly saying you have an ED. :)
  • jewelmarie793
    jewelmarie793 Posts: 54 Member
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    Wow. I cant believe you just said that. Yes, overeating is an eating disorder, and its a very serious condition, But you cannot tell someone you think they dont have an eating disorder if they arent over weight
  • bloodynails
    bloodynails Posts: 5 Member
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    Thank you ladies for the support, I really appreciate it :)
    Hi Christina,
    I've not got any experience with eating disorders but I just wanted to say that I really hope that you can find someone who will go through this with you.
    NyimaR

    Over eating is also an eating disorder. If you are obese then you most definitely have an ED. I haven't looked at ur profile so I'm not directly saying you have an ED. :)

    I don't know if you're talking to me or to NyimaR, but either way, you're an idiot.
  • AbsoluteNG
    AbsoluteNG Posts: 1,079 Member
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    Wow. I cant believe you just said that. Yes, overeating is an eating disorder, and its a very serious condition, But you cannot tell someone you think they dont have an eating disorder if they arent over weight

    I think you read my post wrong or I didn't phrase it right. I was including obese people in the ED definition and not just the ones that puke as many people know someone who is obese.
  • AbsoluteNG
    AbsoluteNG Posts: 1,079 Member
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    Thank you ladies for the support, I really appreciate it :)
    Hi Christina,
    I've not got any experience with eating disorders but I just wanted to say that I really hope that you can find someone who will go through this with you.
    NyimaR

    Over eating is also an eating disorder. If you are obese then you most definitely have an ED. I haven't looked at ur profile so I'm not directly saying you have an ED. :)

    I don't know if you're talking to me or to NyimaR, but either way, you're an idiot.

    So sensitive. Some people dont realize that over eating is an ED. That's all I was saying as the other lady assumed she didn't know anyone with an ED.
  • eviegreen
    eviegreen Posts: 123 Member
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    Hi Cristina, I'm in recovery from EDNOS myself, so I absolutely sympathize with everything you've said here. Just wanted to throw out my support and let you know you're not alone in dealing with this.
  • amy_str
    amy_str Posts: 3
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    I've an eating disorder too... and I'm looking for people who can understand how hard it is... and I'm not ready to recover yet
  • BulimicObsession
    BulimicObsession Posts: 1 Member
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    I understand you. I have EXACTLY the same problem. When I was 12 I weight 82kg (181lbs). Everybody laughed at me, but I didn't know it was because of my weight. In fact, I didn't realize I was fat until my father told me I need to diet and exercise. He told me that when I was 13. I started to eat less and I lost 14kg in 9 months. Everybody said to me I look great, so I continued starving. When I was 15 I weight 53kg (117lbs) and I was 1.66m (5.45ft). I started to go out with a boy who bullied me. He made me feel I wasn't good enough for him and he often said to me he'd like to go out with other girls. I started binging. I can't control myself, so I gained weight. When I was 16 I weight 60kg. I feel terrible and I didn't want my boyfriend split up with me. So I started purging. Since then, my weight has range from 54kg to 66kg. Now I weigh 62kg(137lbs) and I'm 1.66m (5.45ft). I sometimes overeat, other times I vomit and other times, I starve myself.

    I understand you. I also feel alone. I don't have friends. I have tried to kill myself twice and I have been hospitalized once. Nobody hears me and nobody cares how I feel.

    My name is Daniela, I'm 19 years old, I'm from Spain (sorry for my english, it's not good) and I'm a bulimic and a cutter.
  • sam308lbs
    sam308lbs Posts: 1,936 Member
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    EDs are so difficult to get out off..i really hope you all are able to develop a healthy relationship with food and your body one day:flowerforyou: :flowerforyou:
  • annwyatt69
    annwyatt69 Posts: 727 Member
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    I am 43 years old now, but have been exactly where you are. At 12, I was 5'2" and 185 pounds. I tried everything to lose weight, but couldn't really stick with anything. When I was 15, I found out I was a type I diabetic and they started me on insulin, and a 1200 calorie diet. I did the diet perfectly for months and my weight dropped to about 125. A "friend" taught me I could "have my cake and eat it too." A nice little finger trick worked wonders when I wanted to cheat. Problems that caused with the insulin and diabetes nearly killed me on several occasions and I left school by ambulance a few times. I didn't purge through my pregnancies and I got very large, but as soon as the babies were born, I was right back at it. I spent time in in-house treatment, but honestly, didn't want it to work at that time. (I was 18 then) After several years, the bulimia ( I HATE that word!) became nearly habit and I didn't concentrate on weight. Eventually, I put on a lot of weight. I have had weight loss surgery recently, and haven't purged in a long time. I remember bouts of overeating and purging and other times when I didn't eat at all. It was a crazy cycle that consumed my life. I hope that, in your life, you can find the love within yourself to overcome this. It is a long, hard, process. I can be there for you, if you need someone. I will not, and do not judge. I will send a friend request.
  • NocturnalGirl
    NocturnalGirl Posts: 1,762
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    Thank you ladies for the support, I really appreciate it :)
    Hi Christina,
    I've not got any experience with eating disorders but I just wanted to say that I really hope that you can find someone who will go through this with you.
    NyimaR
    Over eating is also an eating disorder. If you are obese then you most definitely have an ED. I haven't looked at ur profile so I'm not directly saying you have an ED. :)
    I don't know if you're talking to me or to NyimaR, but either way, you're an idiot.
    So sensitive. Some people dont realize that over eating is an ED. That's all I was saying as the other lady assumed she didn't know anyone with an ED.

    Over eating =/= binge eating. Yes there is a binge eating disorder, but not all obese people have an eating disorder, not all binge eat. Binge eating is emotional eating. Some people who binge eat are not fat.
  • Breadoholic
    Breadoholic Posts: 75 Member
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    Hi Cristina,

    Funnily enough my name is Christina (with a 'h') too and I also have an eating disorder. I binged on and off for about a year and a half before seeking help.

    I lost an extreme about of weight by choice in 2010. I didn't need to, I was at a perfect healthy weight. I have never had weight problems before, but for some reason I thought I would look more attractive at a skinnier weight. I am 5 foot 3ish and at my lowest I weighed 95 pounds (43/44 kilograms).

    I began to binge - never purged though - towards the end of 2010 and then started to drastically restrict foods. I have literally gone for a week without eating. I just drank juice and tried to tell myself I was detoxing. I feel your pain buddy :(

    I don't think people understand how emotionally exhausting it is to have an ED. It affects everything - your relationships, your work and especially your outlook on life. You feel depressed all the time. BUT THERE IS A LIGHT AT THE END OF THE TUNNEL!!! And I have had some amazing days since I started going to therapy, so cheer up babe and lets be supportive for one another. If you have any questions just ask. I'd like to help.

    Please add me as I'd love for us to support each other,

    Christina :)
  • Breadoholic
    Breadoholic Posts: 75 Member
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    Thank you ladies for the support, I really appreciate it :)
    Hi Christina,
    I've not got any experience with eating disorders but I just wanted to say that I really hope that you can find someone who will go through this with you.
    NyimaR
    Over eating is also an eating disorder. If you are obese then you most definitely have an ED. I haven't looked at ur profile so I'm not directly saying you have an ED. :)
    I don't know if you're talking to me or to NyimaR, but either way, you're an idiot.
    So sensitive. Some people dont realize that over eating is an ED. That's all I was saying as the other lady assumed she didn't know anyone with an ED.

    Over eating =/= binge eating. Yes there is a binge eating disorder, but not all obese people have an eating disorder, not all binge eat. Binge eating is emotional eating. Some people who binge eat are not fat.

    This conversation got a little out of hand, but I see where everyone is coming from.
    Binge Eating Disorder does exist. Many obese individuals may suffer from this disorder. It's horrible. Yes, you're right, not all people who binge are obese and not all obese people binge. i am not obese, never have been... and I probably couldn't get to that point.

    Peace,
    Christina
  • NocturnalGirl
    NocturnalGirl Posts: 1,762
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    Hey, now to answer your message. I would love to support you if you are trying to recover but I do not support disordered eating itself. I am struggling myself and I feel you. I just wanted to say that you may never feel ready to recover, it feels like i'll never be thin enough for that so you should take the initiative now because the ED is always lurking stopping you from that. I believe in you, I know you can get better and then lose weight healthily (if you want). It's very very hard and a long battle but you deserve happiness. I'm sure you are beautiful. There is a post I made, very long, but read it all when you have the time. I hope it can somehow inspire you or just know that you are not alone. Take care <3

    http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/778980-can-you-do-something-for-me
  • victoria811
    victoria811 Posts: 9
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    I think this is awesome :)
    I went to rehab for my Bulimia and sub anorexia disorders
    Yesterday was a triggering day for me, since I watched 2 shows that had bulimia references.
    But I love this idea!!!!
  • bloodynails
    bloodynails Posts: 5 Member
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    thank you everyone for the support!

    Everything has gone a bit crazier.
    I am now 125 lbs and 5'4.2 ft (BMI 21~) and feeling I don't want recovery or anything like that. I went to therapy and it made me feel worse, like I wasn't sick enough to get help. So... I don't know what I'm doing right now, I can't really see if it's bad or good!
  • Breadoholic
    Breadoholic Posts: 75 Member
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    You're in a healthy weight range, so if you don't want to gain any more weight then you don't have to. I wouldn't suggest losing any more weight though. At this point if you still feel like you are restricting foods and being really obsessive about what you can and can't eat, maybe you could allocate a day each week where you eat whatever you want. You could eat like a piece of cheesecake or nachos or whatever you want... you need to realise that eating "sometimes foods" is not going to affect your weight, you may fluctuate a little, but that's not noticeable at all. We both need to have healthy relationships with food, that's the point I am at... also need to lose 10 kilograms thanks to my disorder though :( haha

    Christina
  • letjog
    letjog Posts: 260 Member
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    [/quote]

    Over eating is also an eating disorder. If you are obese then you most definitely have an ED. I haven't looked at ur profile so I'm not directly saying you have an ED. :)
    [/quote]

    Oh my god so rude!

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