My friend is cooking me dinner, and i'm worried!!

claire30 · February 2010

On Monday i am going to visit my friend who i havent seen in ages, and i'm really looking forward to it!!
The downside is that she is cooking me dinner.
She is very obese, and doesnt cook healthy at all. I told her not to worry about cooking, and that i will get something on the way to her place, but she insisted. Now i'm worried about eating her food, but dont want to offend her.
She cooks with a LOT od oil and fat (neither good oils and fats either), and fries a lot of food, and always does a chocolate laden, calories laden, fat laden dessert...HELP!!

bambi5014 · February 2010

I would just drink plenty of water before going to her place, then only eat small amounts of her cooking. Maybe she will have some sort of side like veggies or salad that you can eat more of? Good luck!

kazmor · February 2010

just remember it is only one meal and for one day. Tuesday you can get back on track.

FitChickBritt · February 2010

Just make sure to eat very sensibly all day long, and maybe throw in a little extra exercise for the day. You could also bring a salad or maybe some vegetables to go with the meal.

claire30 · February 2010

Thanks Guys,
the reason that i am so worried is because i had a very wobbly week last week, and have only just got back on the wagon, and i'm worried about the effect this 1 meal will have on my weightloss.
I guess i can just eat a small amount, and drink lots of water, and be extra good, and work out extra hard for the rest of the week.xxx.

HonestOmnivore · February 2010

Eat some bulky, low calorie foods on your way over - foods that take a while to leave your stomach!

My favorites are small apples (eat them whole not slices) and carrots. If you can eat celery w/ peanut butter that will give you some bulk and fat to reduce your appetite.

Good luck!

kwardklinck · February 2010

I think a good sized salad before you go over is in order. Just let her know you're watching your weight and eat small portions of what she cooks for you. A little cheat here and there really doesn't hurt you. Just make sure you go right back to eating the way you should after your dinner.

siobhannestor · February 2010

I would just drink plenty of water before going to her place, then only eat small amounts of her cooking. Maybe she will have some sort of side like veggies or salad that you can eat more of? Good luck!

I like this idea! Also, could you actually bring a veggie side dish as a gift? (Hopefully, she wouldn't take offense?)

HulaCherry · February 2010

Lots of good advice on here. I would be open and honest with your friend about goals you are trying to achieve. If you eat smaller portions of whatever is on the menu, you will be fine.

I'm curious to know what's going to be for dinner!

Keep us posted.

mrsbeck · February 2010

My favorites are small apples (eat them whole not slices)

Off-topic, but I'm curious about the "not slices" thing. That's how I usually eat my small apples, cause it takes longer to finish and I feel like I'm getting more...why do you say eat them whole?

BrendaLee · February 2010

Let your friend know that you're eating healthy these days, and you have to be careful about what you eat or you'll end up going off track. She has weight issues herself, so I'm sure she'll understand. Do what you have to do to keep yourself on track- that's the most important thing.

leavinglasvegas · February 2010

This is what I do.

1. Offer to bring a dish. My dish is usually a super healthy, filling salad.

2. Drink tons of water.

3. Most importantly, be HONEST. I respect my friends and family, but I also know that I have a totally different outlook on what is good for me and what is not. I make sure my dietary preferences are well known. I do it in the most polite way that I can. It depends on what is prepared, sometimes you can make it somewhat healthy or just eat less. I come from a European family. All they know how to do is feed you and if you decline, it is offensive. You know your friend best. Only you can figure out how to make this work without caving to spare her feelings.

4. Try to keep the focus off the food. Eat a snack before you go, eat more of what you bring, don't be afraid to push your plate away and say thats it for me, thank you it was delish but I cannot eat another bite. Change subject.

imagymrat · February 2010

Let your friend know that you're eating healthy these days, and you have to be careful about what you eat or you'll end up going off track. She has weight issues herself, so I'm sure she'll understand. Do what you have to do to keep yourself on track- that's the most important thing.

Totally agree, this isn't something I ever give in on. Don't let anyone sabotage you for any reason and the idea of eating something that is soooo not good for you because someone else cooked it is ridiculous, if you don't want to eat it, explain your situation if she's a true friend she'll have to respect your honesty. Give ample time though so your not saying this as you sit down to eat. I eat healthy period, and never give into well it's only one meal, that one meal could potentially make me feel like crap for the next two days. Thanks but no thanks. Bring a healthy dish anyhow, eat only what you want to eat and not because she made it, she can always stick it in her fridge and eat it tomorrow. Don't do anything that makes you uncomfortable to accomodate others. my two cents on this one, but I feel very strongly on this issue! =]..lol

HonestOmnivore · February 2010

Let us know how you did! Either way we can learn and no matter what don't feel you've been de-railed... it's all part of the journey!

claire30 · February 2010

Thanks guys for all your advice, its really helpful.

I would love to explain to her about the fact that i am eating healthy etc, she is totally anti skinny/thin people (so she says) and wont even have the word 'diet' mentioned in her house.
The last time i went to her place for dinner (a few weeks after i had started my new healthy life), i had a massive argument with her, after she accused me of having an eating disorder, as she thinks its abnormal to go to the gym and eat healthy..grrrr!!
Anyway, thanks for the help and advice, and i will try as much as possible to be tactful when explaining to my friend.xxx.

pmjsmom · February 2010

and wont even have the word 'diet' mentioned in her house.
.

maybe you could let her know the actual definition of the word :

Main Entry: 1di·et
Pronunciation: \ˈdī-ət\
Function: noun
Etymology: Middle English diete, from Anglo-French, from Latin diaeta, from Greek diaita, literally, manner of living, from diaitasthai to lead one's life
Date: 13th century
1 a : food and drink regularly provided or consumed b : habitual nourishment c : the kind and amount of food prescribed for a person or animal for a special reason d : a regimen of eating and drinking sparingly so as to reduce one's weight <going on a diet>
2 : something provided or experienced repeatedly <a diet of Broadway shows and nightclubs — Frederick Wyatt>

As you can see--the main definition applies to anyone and anything (ie. animals) that eat in order to live!

PJilly · February 2010

Thanks guys for all your advice, its really helpful.

I would love to explain to her about the fact that i am eating healthy etc, she is totally anti skinny/thin people (so she says) and wont even have the word 'diet' mentioned in her house.
The last time i went to her place for dinner (a few weeks after i had started my new healthy life), i had a massive argument with her, after she accused me of having an eating disorder, as she thinks its abnormal to go to the gym and eat healthy..grrrr!!
Anyway, thanks for the help and advice, and i will try as much as possible to be tactful when explaining to my friend.xxx.

What an uncomfortable situation, but I agree with those who said you need to do what's right for you. Since you've already had a disagreement with your friend about your new healthful lifestyle, it shouldn't come as a surprise to her that you would be uncomfortable eating the way she eats. I think I would be polite but firm in letting her know you would just rather eat your own food first and then come enjoy her company after. I would hope as long as you're not trying to get her to change the way she does things, she would respect your wishes and not try to get you to change the way you do things. Good luck!

PJilly · February 2010

I would also stress to her that although she may not agree or understand, this is something that is VERY important to you. I feel your pain. I have friends/family who think what I do is silly. I can't change what they think, but I can control what I put in my body. And I do.

Jennplus2 · February 2010

Thanks guys for all your advice, its really helpful.

I would love to explain to her about the fact that i am eating healthy etc, she is totally anti skinny/thin people (so she says) and wont even have the word 'diet' mentioned in her house.
The last time i went to her place for dinner (a few weeks after i had started my new healthy life), i had a massive argument with her, after she accused me of having an eating disorder, as she thinks its abnormal to go to the gym and eat healthy..grrrr!!
Anyway, thanks for the help and advice, and i will try as much as possible to be tactful when explaining to my friend.xxx.

This is really sad. I think she has the problem. She is judging your choices, not you her's. If she can't understand that you are trying to better your health and life maybe she isn't a good friend. I can understand not wanting to make a big deal out of your diet though.

If it was me I would eat health (maybe steamed) veggies before you go. Low in calories, but will help fill you up. Don't count on her having a healthy side, prepare for the worst. Make sure your plate is a small plate and try not to eat as much as you take. Drink lots of water during dinner to help fill you up and flush sodium.

Try to pass on the after dinner yummy stuff, if you can't skip then think of the scale as you serv yourself so you don't take much.
Exercise more this week and don't stress about it. If you do your best then that is what matters. You do have to live your life, hard friend dinners is a part of life. Just do what you can to make the best choices, and after that it is what it is. Every pound gained can be lost again!
:flowerforyou:

My friend is cooking me dinner, and i'm worried!!

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