Forever on Repeat

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I feel like I am stuck on repeat. I get super motivated, I get excited, something happens and I loose focus, I fall back into old comforts and then I hate myself.



So flippin tired of my sad routine. Ive bee at the cycle for a decade now. I don't even know what to do to make it stop. I have read and educated myself thoroughly about nutrition and balance. I know I don't need an overpriced plan to fix me, I know I don't need pre-packaged meals and a quick fix. Why can't I just apply the knowledge? Why do I seem to be my own worst enemy. I lie to myself constantly. Then I see a photo of my body and I don't recognize it.

I swore I would never be that obese mom with the cute kids, I swore I wouldn't be throwing on the old t-shirt and jeans to run around and do errands. These things are not what I wanted.

I hate this feeling of overwhelming defeat. I want to cry and just through in the towel most days...but there is still a little spark of fire left in me. I need to fuel it. Just lost as to how. Any ideas?

Replies

  • I'm in the same position as you. I've lost and gained dozens of times over the past 8 years. I've also dropped out of weight loss programs because they're essentially teaching me everything I already taught myself years ago. Maybe if we all stick together on MFP we can get some motivation and figure it out, day by day?
  • vestarocks
    vestarocks Posts: 449 Member
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    I think a lot of us feel that way. The only idea I have is don't throw in the towel; take advantage of the good days and forgive yourself for the bad days. Keep logging on, even on the bad days and stay connected to your friends on MFP (and you can certainly add me).

    Like my Doctor says even if you lose one pound a month that's 12 pounds less than you had a year ago.

    Keep on truckin'
  • cmriverside
    cmriverside Posts: 34,116 Member
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    Start focusing on your Successes, no matter how tiny, and forgive your Failures, no matter how big.

    The only way to change it is to completely chang ethe way you look at yourself. If you think you just can't do it, well, you're right. If you think you can - start celebrating Successes!

    Like "Yay! I ate a better lunch than usual." or, "Hey, look! I walked for four days in a row!"
  • shawnaln
    shawnaln Posts: 7 Member
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    Sometimes you have to get fed up with a lack of change in order to make a change.
    If I could listen to my own advice, I'd have the body I've always wanted. I completely sympathize and feel the same as you. Here are a couple things I try to remember when I'm mad at my self for getting back to "square-one":

    1. I try to remember how good it felt to slim down the last time I was able to exercise the self-control to.
    2. I also have to remember that progress is much slower than I want it to be.
    3. Remember that each small healthy change does make a difference
  • kellimr
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    I know EXACTLY how you feel!! Your story sounds exactly like mine! I have lost large amounts (60-80 lbs) for the past 20 years essentially!! And then I lose motivation...ignore all the rules...and it comes RIGHT back! I also have two young boys who I would love to have more energy to play with. During my thin times I do & have tons of energy. Then I fall off the wagon when I reach my goal! However I am bound and determined to live the second half of my life trim and healthy no matter how long it takes! Best of luck to you and if you would like friends in the same boat for inspiration...please add me :)
  • roguestates
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    My number one tip is to automate as much as possible. The easier you make for yourself, the better. Create new habits, but don't overwhelm yourself by doing them all at once.

    If you can afford it, throw away all of the old shirts and anything that makes you feel bad in. You can't throw on an old tee if you don't have one :) You deserve to look good no matter your weight, so don't use that old, tired excuse.

    Secondly, don't buy snack foods. Buy fruit or vegetables that you clean, cut, and reach for as snacks.
  • crystaleyes0318
    crystaleyes0318 Posts: 6 Member
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    Ditto dear friend... I've taken a quick inventory just recently and am kind of in the dumps right now. I've got nothing left to lose, so why not try and start over? Entered my food in the diary, came to some serious realizations, and am heading to the gym soon. Though our schedules are off again, we van still do fun things together. Maybe on Sundays we can try to go for a long walk and have girl time? Don't get down. We can pick each other up if we try. You do have great inspiration in the adorable children you are raising. Your man will support you to the end of the earth. Let's break our cycle. Love you!
  • gettingfit65
    gettingfit65 Posts: 349 Member
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    Thx for this post....this is exactly my life story. Lose, something comes up and I get derailed and then It takes sometimes months for me to get back on track. So disheartening. If only I could control my head....
  • laurisgomez
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    Start focusing on your Successes, no matter how tiny, and forgive your Failures, no matter how big.

    The only way to change it is to completely chang ethe way you look at yourself. If you think you just can't do it, well, you're right. If you think you can - start celebrating Successes!

    Like "Yay! I ate a better lunch than usual." or, "Hey, look! I walked for four days in a row!"