More than just weight loss
gabriellejayde
Posts: 607 Member
As I'm getting thinner, I'm reminded about the true win of getting thinner- the creation of a truly better person.
As an overweight, professional woman, I've had to compensate for the fact that I don't get hired or promoted based on looks. Nobody wants me on their team for the same reason why they want the 26 year old thin blond down the hall. Outside of the office, I've come up with ways to get mechanics to give me a discount, or cashiers to give me a coupon, or store clerks to go the extra mile to help me find what i want.
How? I've had to develop a personality. Mine often involves humor, but it also involves a big, genuine smile when appropriate. I'm nice to waitresses, coworkers, and strangers. I know that any reciprocation isn't going to be because I'm the hot 45 year old... It's going to be because i'm nice and I'm funny, and like a lot of overweight people... I'm sensitive. not to my own feelings, but to others.
I don't have room to be sensitive to my own feelings. When you've been overweight for so long, you can't let things bother you and you can't take things personally. The boss buys the receptionist lunch, when you've been the one working so hard lately and she's sitting their filing her nails and being *****y to everyone? well yeah. She's super pretty. Of course he wants to buy her lunch. you get it. To make yourself feel better, you remind yourself that you earn more than her too, so it's fair. Don't think about it.
Then you start to lose weight.
You're able to dress better and look healthier. Shopping for clothes isn't torture anymore and you start fixing your hair and makeup a little better. For all the same reasons why they may have overlooked you as a person before you lost weight, now they are noticing you. Not only do you look like you have it all together, but you do...
Because now you're not just healthier and more active, but you're still nice. You're still funny and sensitive to other people's feelings. You still don't take things personally and now you know what it's like to be invisible and to be seen. You're never going to be the *****y attractive one because now you've spent years working on your inside and the outside has just fallen into place.
As an overweight, professional woman, I've had to compensate for the fact that I don't get hired or promoted based on looks. Nobody wants me on their team for the same reason why they want the 26 year old thin blond down the hall. Outside of the office, I've come up with ways to get mechanics to give me a discount, or cashiers to give me a coupon, or store clerks to go the extra mile to help me find what i want.
How? I've had to develop a personality. Mine often involves humor, but it also involves a big, genuine smile when appropriate. I'm nice to waitresses, coworkers, and strangers. I know that any reciprocation isn't going to be because I'm the hot 45 year old... It's going to be because i'm nice and I'm funny, and like a lot of overweight people... I'm sensitive. not to my own feelings, but to others.
I don't have room to be sensitive to my own feelings. When you've been overweight for so long, you can't let things bother you and you can't take things personally. The boss buys the receptionist lunch, when you've been the one working so hard lately and she's sitting their filing her nails and being *****y to everyone? well yeah. She's super pretty. Of course he wants to buy her lunch. you get it. To make yourself feel better, you remind yourself that you earn more than her too, so it's fair. Don't think about it.
Then you start to lose weight.
You're able to dress better and look healthier. Shopping for clothes isn't torture anymore and you start fixing your hair and makeup a little better. For all the same reasons why they may have overlooked you as a person before you lost weight, now they are noticing you. Not only do you look like you have it all together, but you do...
Because now you're not just healthier and more active, but you're still nice. You're still funny and sensitive to other people's feelings. You still don't take things personally and now you know what it's like to be invisible and to be seen. You're never going to be the *****y attractive one because now you've spent years working on your inside and the outside has just fallen into place.
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Replies
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That was wonderful! You have the right idea! Love this post.0
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Beautiful! You've said what I've always known was true..blessings to you and your journey.:flowerforyou:0
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OMGoodness, simply amazing and true! Kudos to you for being able to shine forth no matter what the circumstance.0
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YES YES and Yes! To everything you said!
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LOVE THIS !! YOU HAVE A real gift !! you should write books !! FOR SURE !! XOXOXOXOXXO
SANDY0 -
Beautiful! Yes i definitely agree! It'll all be worth it in the end! 0
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:flowerforyou:
simple and true0 -
:flowerforyou: Well Said!0
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So refreshing!0
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LOVE THIS !! YOU HAVE A real gift !! you should write books !! FOR SURE !! XOXOXOXOXXO
SANDY
aww, thanks. I do write a lot, but mostly articles and white papers for work.0 -
wonderfully written. thanks for sharing!! :flowerforyou:0
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well said!
thanks for the post0 -
so true!!!0
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This is so insightful, and so elegantly written.0
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It's a good anecdote and offers a good reason for us to try to be complete people. In my view, it's also important that we recognize that the 26-year old thin blonde down the hall may already be a complete person.0
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Love it!0
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Very enlightening. Nice story.0
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Absolutly! Great read for my morning, thanks!0
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So much of what you say is true. Having been picked on as a child for being overweight, I know the pain it can cause and as a result I believe I am a more sensitive and compassionate person because of it.0
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I don't know about this... Being fat doesn't make you a good person. I've met plenty of horrible fat people. Struggle can make you a stronger person, but thin people can grow from their struggles the same way fat people can (but don't always). Some fat girls DO get hired based on their looks, and there are loads of skinny girls who don't.
I'm just generally not a fan of the "fat people have more personality!" thing.0 -
I don't know about this... Being fat doesn't make you a good person. I've met plenty of horrible fat people. Struggle can make you a stronger person, but thin people can grow from their struggles the same way fat people can (but don't always). Some fat girls DO get hired based on their looks, and there are loads of skinny girls who don't.
I'm just generally not a fan of the "fat people have more personality!" thing.
it wasn't a rule, just a personal observation. of course some fat people get hired for looks- not only are some beautiful, but plenty of people find fat attractive.
And yes, some fat people are horrible humans, while plenty (if not most) attractive people are really good people.
Still, it rings true for many people who have developed their personalities to compensate for their weight.0
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