Can people truely change?

The truth is that many will try, and few will. Addicts go back out, ex-cons re-offend, and people on MFP who lose weight give up. There are a small percentage that do make life changes. I tell my daughters this: "Why don't you just pick someone without all the baggage of the past?" It's easier to do when you are young, than when you are middle-age.

I like this. I agree. If they're really willing to change, they'll make it happen. Bad habits are hard to break- but it's not impossible. We've all had pasts that we probably wished didn't exist- but they do. It's the past and people can grow to be a better individual. At least that's what I believe.

It is totally possible people can change. If they want it bad enough. We are all changing. Habits can be broken and learning from the past can help write a better future. Unfortunatly you also have to keep one eye open at all time until he has proven that he can change. Hope this helps

True.. but don't keep looking for what might happen and fail to see what is actually happening. The only person they need to actually prove it to is themselves, others just need to have faith

Sorry guys, I know this is a fitness/health/weight loss site, but I have no-one else to ask!!!

I've met a guy with a fairly checkered past (not going to elaborate) but he's determined to change his life and has been working hard at doing just that for nearly two years...

Can a person truely change for good? Or are we destined to revert to past behavior?

I'd love to hear any life changing stories you have!

A leopard never changes spots. Stir well the f**k clear.

Sorry guys, I know this is a fitness/health/weight loss site, but I have no-one else to ask!!!

I've met a guy with a fairly checkered past (not going to elaborate) but he's determined to change his life and has been working hard at doing just that for nearly two years...

Can a person truely change for good? Or are we destined to revert to past behavior?

I'd love to hear any life changing stories you have!

A leopard never changes spots. Stir well the f**k clear.

Is it really that black and white???

YES

You said for two years he's been making that change. I would think that's evidence right there.

Someone else said that a small amount of people actually do change. Maybe he's one of them. What you need to decide is whether or not you want to take that chance.

Go with your gut. Good luck.

To be honest, I think she knows already, if she believed the person, and wasn't having doubts, she wouldn't be asking

Good point!

Most of the men who have said those kind of things to me were all talk. Maybe they were trying to convince themselves the same time they were trying to convince me.

People can change. But they have to want to.

depends on the change required. we under-estimate just how difficult it is to change.

there is also the nature vs nurture challenge. our environments, our family, our life circumstances.

give the person the benefit of the doubt but past performance is usually a good predictor for future performance...

p.s i worked in mental health, drug abuse etc.

I think it's important, especially early in a relationship, to recognize that people show their best qualities and that is great and fun and exciting. Is it possible for people to leave the worst of themselves in the past? Yes, it is. To do so requires great commitment and a willingness to do some tremendously deep work. Wanting to change is a good first step but it is far from what it takes to bring real osmosis. As a person close to someone changing you will have to accept the good with the bad because change does not happen overnight and it might not happen at all.

We all have things we should change to make being in a relationship better, but some people have things they need to change that prevent a relationship at all. Think 10 years down the road and make your decision from that standpoint when neither of you are bring your "first date" manners to the game.

I think people can change, but I also think that we need to be totaly aware of what our problems are. That way we wont be tempted to repeat the same behaviors. I would watch very closely and have a policy of 'open and honest' about everything. its good to leave a bad past and make a new life, but if there are issues that could be putting you at risk medicaly, finacialy or a threat to your safety, you need to really think about what could happen in your future.

Do people truly change?

My answer is no. People do not change unless there is a reason to change or something caused a change. Without that push then a person will not change.

I am married to a recovering addict. We've been together for 22 years. I won't say that there haven't been ups and downs because there definitely have been. But he has changed over the years and has learned and is still learning what things trigger the addictive behavior and he works very hard to stay clean. What you may find is that once one addiction is conquered, another one may take its place.

After saying all that, I will say that I absolutely adore my husband and love him with all my heart and he feels the same about me. I wouldn't trade him (spots and all) for anyone. He is my best friend and soul mate.

I think this is a great telling of a wonderful story. The question the OP needs to be asking herself is "Do I love him the way he is enough that if he never changes this can be a good relationship for me even if it never becomes the kind of relationship I'm sure we could have if he changed."