Determination, exercise, purging

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letjog
letjog Posts: 260 Member
in Motivation and Support
Today's been a bit of a disaster to be honest, and I'm not sure of the best way to positively finish the day.

As you can see from my 'ticker' I've had steady weight loss since June this year, from a very healthy but deterimined calorie count of 1000-1300 cals per day with additional exercise 2-3/week, gym or running once per week.

This week I've been off work and have had extra gym sessions because I love the gym it's like a playground for me. In fact I haven't had a day off for the 5 days so far. Yesterday I ran 13 miles because I have a half marathon a week on sunday and wanted to get the last long run in with over a week to spare. Today was supposed to be a rest day because my quads are really really aching. No injuries though.

However for the past 2 days I've been insatiably hungry. Yesterday I ate 1800 calories (and did the run). Today I was hungry immediately after my breakfast and it basically led to a binge. The first binge I've had in years. I ate a whole packet of chocolate caramel digestives, a mars bar and a 'for goodness shakes' chocolate milkshake, after a few extra healthy things I'd eaten to try and stave off the imminent binge. I logged them all and saw it was >3000 calories for today already.

I did purge a bit... First time in months. I did used ot have bulimia but it was never really something that inteefered wih my life and resolved after a few months. I don't really think I'm going back to that. I may have knocked off a couple of hundred calories from that total from the vomiting, but now I feel I ought to go to the gym. Because I'm tired and my quads ache I thought I could just do half an hour of hard elliptical and some upper body weights and maybe i'd be able to at least knock about 400 calories off todays total.

But to be honest I'd much rather have an excuse to stay at home as I'm so tired.

I don't know what to do.

Replies

  • hitstuff
    hitstuff Posts: 40 Member
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    My kneejerk response, is to tell you to take in more calories on an average day- and certainly more than 1000 calories. It seems you might need more food to satiate yourself at your level of activity. Having said that, what's done is done. Let it go, wipe the slate clean. Eat normally and healthily for the rest of the day and I guarantee tomorrow will come with all it's fresh opportunities to make better choices! This was a mere hiccup in your progress....please view it as such and continue on your journey!
  • yoovie
    yoovie Posts: 17,121 Member
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  • rml_16
    rml_16 Posts: 16,414 Member
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    It sounds to me like you're not being honest with yourself about your eating disorder. I think you need to get in to see a counselor ASAP.
  • drakechic08
    drakechic08 Posts: 156 Member
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    If you ran 13 miles you need a heck of a lot more calories than 1800. It was only 1 day, it will not affect you at all. You dont want to over do it on the excersize. And you definatly do not want to purge. You were that hungry because your body was telling you that you need more calories. Listen to your body and don't stress so much over a number of calories. If your body is not getting the right amount of calories and nutrients, you are just going to end up worse off. Just forget about the calories today and move on.
  • Goal_Line
    Goal_Line Posts: 474 Member
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    It sounds to me like you're not being honest with yourself about your eating disorder. I think you need to get in to see a counselor ASAP.

    Could not agree more. See someone more qualified than a bunch random people on the Internet.
  • determinedbutlazy
    determinedbutlazy Posts: 1,941 Member
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    You need to eat more on a daily basis if you're going to exercise that much. I run 3 miles 3 times a week and on run days I eat closer to 2000 cals.
  • crazyellybean
    crazyellybean Posts: 999 Member
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    It sounds to me like you're not being honest with yourself about your eating disorder. I think you need to get in to see a counselor ASAP.

    ^^ this

    and if you are working out that much and not taking in more calories your body is going to be hungry, you need to fuel your body and give it food! 1800 calories is not bad after running 13 miles!! MANY MANY MANY athletes eat 2000-4000 calories pre race to gear up! .. You need to fuel your body.
  • Keto_Keith
    Keto_Keith Posts: 73
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    Your profile pic states that "Obsessed is the word the lazy use to describe dedicated." It is also the word that professional psychologists use to describe a detrimental behavior. I would have to agree with rml_16. Your behavior is indicative of a deeper-rooted psychological issue, you need to talk to a professional. Purging, ever, is not normal.
  • LMHinson15
    LMHinson15 Posts: 201 Member
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    It sounds to me like you're not being honest with yourself about your eating disorder. I think you need to get in to see a counselor ASAP.

    Absolutely this.

    You're hungry because you're burning most of what your body needs to just function, by doing exercise. Listen to your body!!!

    Purging a "little bit"... is still purging. That's a slippery slope. I noticed your profile picture too (as someone else commented). Healthy dedication means giving your body the right balance of nutrition and physical challenge. I think you might need a qualified objective source to help you determine that.

    Please consider getting some advice/help from a qualified professional.
  • letjog
    letjog Posts: 260 Member
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    Thanks all for your advice :(
  • CariBgood
    CariBgood Posts: 88 Member
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    Purging is never the answer and a terrible habit. I also agree with several of those that said you should get counselling....

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