The Green Devil . . . Jealousy!

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Mommy08
Mommy08 Posts: 73 Member
in Motivation and Support
Sorry ya'll but this is my rant for the day. I'm feeling a little worn down at the moment so I need to vent..

Why is it when you talk about your weightloss to a "friend" and yours happens to be more than theirs, they are just NOT willing to be happy for you!! All I hear are excuses as to why they haven't lost more or honestly I get COMPLETELY ignored when I talk about my weightloss and my numbers. I think that is incredibly rude and selfish.

Even when I wasn't trying to lose weight and was unhappy with myself, I would hear someone talk about they current weightloss and I always made a point to praise them adn be happy for them. Now why can't I get a little respect or acknowledgement for my hard work?

I dont' need a pat on the back, but I just think it's horrid how people can be, sorry ya'll, I'm just stressed from it!
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Replies

  • lreed
    lreed Posts: 348 Member
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    I know, kinda depressing. We should all be happy for each other's progress! The good news is you have the support here and it is very supportive! Keep at it! Good luck! How is it going? :smile:
  • bridgek22
    bridgek22 Posts: 1
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    hey there...if you ever need someone to listen...I'm up for the task...I'm a better listener than talker anyway :) hope it's better for you!
  • karmasBFF
    karmasBFF Posts: 699 Member
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    For some, it means failure for them. I have a friend, a very CLOSE friend, that is all about the competition. She has to be prettier, she has to be thinner, she has to get the most attention...I realized that letting it bother me only means I'm competing too. For something I will never get from her, even though I give it.

    Just find another friend to support you! We are all here for you!!
  • Chantelle160
    Chantelle160 Posts: 127
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    I hear you, I get it from my own sister who is skinny. I want her to be happy for me but all she can point out is how fat I was. We are here for you. you are doing great and you should be super proud.
  • JustAmy
    JustAmy Posts: 291
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    Just wanted to say Congratulations on losing 15 pounds!! That is great!!!!!!!:drinker: :drinker:
  • mirandagem
    mirandagem Posts: 7 Member
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    I usually feel bad talking about how much weight I've lost to my friends who are bigger than me. But I completely understand and have come across a few people who acted like people lose 50 lbs every day. Oh well, we're doing good for ourselves, right?!!?
  • EternalLife
    EternalLife Posts: 31 Member
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    I can totally understand how you feel! Especially the part about their excuses for not having lost more. I also get a lot of people saying things like "Why the hell are you on a diet? Don't be stupid", which I find extremely rude - just because my goal is reasonably small doesn't mean that I shouldn't be striving to be as healthy as I can be!

    It's great here, because people can understand and are willing to listen and to praise - without being patronising or insincere. It's nice :smile:

    Hope you feel better soon. It's very easy to get stressed when you are worn down and tired, and people don't help with their bad attitudes. Keep up the good work.
  • mvl1014
    mvl1014 Posts: 531
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    I haven't told anyone but my wife of this process... MFP is the only place where most can go and have everyone rooting for you!
  • littlesuzieq
    littlesuzieq Posts: 103
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    I'm sorry! I know exactly what you're going through.

    I had the same thing happen to me today, too. Some people in the BL contest at work are starting to get really crabby. Now that they're not in 1st place - suddenly it's no longer a "friendly" competition. I was actually told that my success wouldn't stick since I was only doing it for the money! Nice group support and motivation. I really thought it would be fun to be in it with a bunch of people that I knew but now I don't think so. The funny thing is that the most supportive people are my friends who are not taking part in the contest and my husband.

    I have to admit that I come here and lurk to get the supportive fix that I need. It's like a shot in the arm!
  • DrinkWine
    DrinkWine Posts: 8 Member
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    AH! Yes! We call these people friends ha ha... I am happy for you just started yesterday and am trying to go strong.
  • Prnculrich
    Prnculrich Posts: 13
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    My Wife is Kinda like that, She is very happy when I first tell her, but then when I go in to the closet and try on some cloths I havnt been able to wear in a while and fit into them finally im like oh yeah and she is like yep and walks off. lol
  • Laura80111
    Laura80111 Posts: 958 Member
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    This is the place to get the best support:smile: ...even when you have a bad day, week or month:angry: ...everyone here is the best of the support systems that I know of:bigsmile:

    Laura:flowerforyou:
  • lkharris
    lkharris Posts: 24
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    Some people just cannot be happy for someone else, or even if they are actually happy for that person they cannot express it. If they are your friend, you try to just accept their limitation as a human imperfection. Doesn't mean you don't get irritated by it though! You don't get everything in any relationship from one person, so if there are some who cannot congratulate you on your weight loss achievement, maybe they can on other things. And you know there are those of us on this site that will appreciate your hard work and dedication to the weight loss! No matter how small or large that may be. To each his own!
  • LittleSpy
    LittleSpy Posts: 6,754 Member
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    Jealousy can be a really difficult thing for some folks (obviously!). Maybe try not to talk about it so much around the people you can tell it bothers the most. Who knows, they may be thinking "Gah, why is she always gloating about losing weight? That's so rude!"
    :wink:
  • BrendaLee
    BrendaLee Posts: 4,463 Member
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    I find that people aren't always willing to celebrate your little losses, but once you hit a big number everyone wants to know how you did it, and how they can do it too. I've been experiencing that this time around. It's a sad fact, but when someone's losing weight, we generally expect them to fail just because that's normally what happens.
  • shellee9tj
    shellee9tj Posts: 221 Member
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    That is why I love this site, I get plenty of motivation and support from people I have just met and some I have never met!! I feel the same way when I talk about my weight loss, some are happy, some are not and for their own different reasons I'm sure. Now I only share my success with my husband and my sister (and my friends on MFP of course!) and if people ask me how much weight I have lost, then and only then, will I talk about it!! Don't let them get you down girl, you are doing fantastic!!
  • nisijam5
    nisijam5 Posts: 10,390 Member
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    You reason you are like that is because you have class...and, that's why we are here to support your efforts...YOU, GO, GIRL:drinker: :flowerforyou:
  • Mommy08
    Mommy08 Posts: 73 Member
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    Jealousy can be a really difficult thing for some folks (obviously!). Maybe try not to talk about it so much around the people you can tell it bothers the most. Who knows, they may be thinking "Gah, why is she always gloating about losing weight? That's so rude!"
    :wink:

    I get what you are saying but I am CERTAIN i do not gloat and besides, they want to brag about themselves but then ask me and if I "one-up" them, they are mad. It's just crazy!
  • LittleSpy
    LittleSpy Posts: 6,754 Member
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    I wasn't trying to suggest you actually gloat. I was suggesting that's the way they are (mis)interpreting you talking about your success (it would be a way for them to justify not being happy for you in their own mind). Congrats to you, by the way!
  • GinaB30
    GinaB30 Posts: 725 Member
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    hmmm I know exactly what you mean....but I find some people will brag sooo much about how much they've lost and it almost rubs it in the face of the person struggling- you know?

    edit// oh and I am not suggesting that YOU personally brag...(had to edit that in!)
    I try really hard not to brag, OR to go on about how *fat* I am because someone is always in a different place.

    If I say I'm "SO FAT" to the person that weighs 50 lbs more than me, how does that make them feel?
    If I say, "Yay I've lost 20 lbs! I rock!" to the person who has been struggling...I can see that being a huge downer.

    Of course we all want someone to say "You did great! You rock!" but IRL I find it harder to find those people.....so I like MFP for that!

    And btw- YOU ROCK! You're doing great!

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