Uncomfortable situations

joselo2
joselo2 Posts: 461
in Motivation and Support
How do you feel when people talk about weight in general, or more particularly, your weight?

I am not talking about the times when someone is really purposely rude, but like, if someone says sometimes a little insensitive about you, or says something negative about overweight people? I get uneasy when people talk about weight, I guess this is not very reasonable of me but I feel like attention is going to be drawn to me, or if they are saying something bad about fat people I am sat thinking 'Is that what they think of people like me?'. I don't know if it is better or even worse when they turn to you and say 'No offence!' Haha.

I think my problem is I am actually quite sensitive in general and of people being hurtful about my weight but I try to deflect it by being quite jokey bout it myself... which I guess backfires because people think I am comfortable with other people making light hearted jokes, and in reality I am not really.

I was just thinking this because the other night my friend was a little tipsy and she started saying how big my thighs are... like she was going 'seriously, I know you big but even in proportion I think your thighs are so huge!' She was saying it just like a curiosity but she kept going on and I was thinking, how do I stop her saying this, other than have a strop??? hahaha!

Talk about wiehgt is just way uncomfrotable, I think I am not the only one!xxxxx

Replies

  • Ralphrabbit
    Ralphrabbit Posts: 351 Member
    You are not the only one! I spent most of my life trying to blend into the background as if they may notice that I was fat if I didn't! Of course they noticed I was fat! It was unmissable!! My friends were always sensitive but I was over sensitive. Other people just did not matter but I have learned to see value in who I am. I am still very heavy but I am worth more than what I weigh.

    The way you feel needs separating from your weight problem, then you can deal with the weight properly!
  • aimiemims
    aimiemims Posts: 15
    That wasn't a very nice thing of your friend to say. I don't know what kind of a relationship you have with this friend, but is it possible to tell her "you're making me uncomfortable" or "let's change the subject".
  • cmriverside
    cmriverside Posts: 34,318 Member
    People say things without thinking. I've been known to end conversations and friendships if they do it on a regular basis, though.

    For the most part, they aren't thinking. Take them aside and tell them how you feel. If they continue, they aren't friends.
  • stephiehun7
    stephiehun7 Posts: 8
    That would have gotten a throatpunch. It's the only appropriate response to that sort of tomfoolery.
  • kimothy38
    kimothy38 Posts: 840 Member
    Being overweight makes me paranoid. I tend to think that people think negatively of me and anything related to fat people is aimed at me. I annoys me that people think because someone is overweight they are fair game and can say whatever they like. Saying 'no offence' afterwards does not negate the hurtful things they've just said. I'd be mortified if a friend of mine carried on about the size of my legs. Charming friend.
  • joselo2
    joselo2 Posts: 461
    Being overweight makes me paranoid. I tend to think that people think negatively of me and anything related to fat people is aimed at me. I annoys me that people think because someone is overweight they are fair game and can say whatever they like. Saying 'no offence' afterwards does not negate the hurtful things they've just said. I'd be mortified if a friend of mine carried on about the size of my legs. Charming friend.
    That is exactly how I feel. Sometimes I am too sensitive/paranoid. But also if someone is being negative bout overweight people in generaly, that includes me, so them saying like 'not meaning you' doesn't wash. I rarely say anything though because I don't want to draw attention to it. I don't know if it is good or bad, like they have sudenly forgot I'm a big fat guy or something, haha!

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