I feel pathetic, I need help

I have always thought I was fat from the time I was in elementary school ... looking back at pictures of myself I now know I was not, not even close but I am now. I had my 2nd child nearly 2 years ago and worked hard and lost a ton of weight (for me at least) and got down to 180 lbs which still fell in the obese category for my height which is 5'7". I was super proud of myself but quickly due to a combination of things (life, stress, laziness, loss of motivation, family issues, a complete lack of support) packed all my weight back on and am now at my fattest weight 203 lbs. My mother was very obese and finally had a gastric bypass years ago that did not fix her problems and I feel like I'm on the track to be just like her I love my mom but she is a very unhappy and depressed person for many reasons and I don't want to be that way. I'm hoping joining my fitness pal is going to help me get some support so I can regain some motivation and confidence. I don't know any of you so I'm hoping that will help me to open up and speak honestly about my weight and problems regarding it. I've been working hard to track my food and come up with better recipes for the food my family and I enjoy. It always seems the harder I try to eat less the more I crave and eat rather I'm hungry or not. I feel like I have serious psychological problems and I wish I had insurance and could attend some type of therapy. I hope you'll lend some support and share your recipes and success stories with me. I know what I need to do it's just much easier said than done. It feels easier to be fat but I don't want to be unhealthy for the sake of my kids. I want to get this under control before they are old enough to understand. I want to teach them better habits than I was taught.