do We Set Ourselves up to Fail?

Ive done it myself..

Ive seen many many others here do it to themselves..

"We" set ourselves up to fail........when we believe "we blew it" by over eating either in calories or by indulging in a food we feel we shouldnt have eaten. I think if it happens "enough (???) we will fail. We're creatures of habit and as such dont much like being out of our comfort zone. We tend not to hang with something indefinitely when we have the view that it may somehow be wrong...like .when we're enjoying a food or foods as bad or wrong.

Nothing should be off limits technically. I think we all agree all things in moderation. But I see some of the most beautiful people here slamming themselves every day for enjoying time out with a loved one or a friend and enjoying a nice meal. It makes me feel bad that they feel bad because they "went over 300" calories (or whatever the magic number was)

I believe if we're to succeed at a lifestyle change we all need to change our views on foods as well. Not just what foods we can or cannot have............but how we view them in said category. It's the same with working out..........we dont turn into couch potatoes or slugs because we missed / skipped a day or two. I wonder if we'd need the constant high level of motivation from outside ourselves if we could change our views or attitudes?

Just something to ponder at 3 freaking a.m.

Have an awesome stunning beautiful fruitful health active day

Replies

  • irishblonde2011
    irishblonde2011 Posts: 618 Member
    Great post :)
  • meshashesha2012
    meshashesha2012 Posts: 8,329 Member
    yeah i think some people set themselves up to fail. any time you look at weightloss as deprivation then odds are it's not going to last long.

    all too often people focus on the negative of what they cant have without approaching it as what they can have.

    for instance i'm always surprised when people say they dont know what to eat when they trye to lose weight. and then when you ask what they ate to get fat and they say mcdonalds. i cant help but think doesnt that mean you like beef chicken and potatoes? you can still eat those things just not done the mcdonald's way
  • mjterp
    mjterp Posts: 650 Member
    I'm proud to call you friend, and this post is just one small taste of why! ;-)
  • nkrueger1
    nkrueger1 Posts: 129 Member
    well said my friend...we are not perfect by any means and it's ok to treat yourself now and again as you say in moderation...it is after all a life long journey we we're here for the long haul...:drinker:
  • yo_andi
    yo_andi Posts: 2,178 Member
    It's the whole temporary vs. forever thing.

    Success starts with a mindset change, which is 98% of the battle.
  • Capt_Apollo
    Capt_Apollo Posts: 9,026 Member
    you set yourself up to fail. i set myself up to be batman.
  • drakechic08
    drakechic08 Posts: 156 Member
    I agree. I realized that this time around, the reason I am achieving better results and staying more dedicated than ever before is because I don't beat myself up like I used to about everything. This also works with weight loss. We see a number on the scale and aren't happy with it. We think to ourselves, I did everything right, so why isn't this working and we often give up. But once we get into a frame of mind where we think, ok I'll try something different for a little while and we keep pushing, we are going to have better habits over all.

    Its nice to finally realize that I can have that piece of cake or whatever if I want to and that one time is not going to ruin everything else I have been doing. This is the difference between a diet and a lifestyle.
  • ZugTheMegasaurus
    ZugTheMegasaurus Posts: 801 Member
    for instance i'm always surprised when people say they dont know what to eat when they trye to lose weight. and then when you ask what they ate to get fat and they say mcdonalds. i cant help but think doesnt that mean you like beef chicken and potatoes? you can still eat those things just not done the mcdonald's way
    This is the most concise way I have seen this put. It always takes me forever to try to explain this concept to people; the idea that you could eat something you like to lose weight rather than spending a fortune on diet quasi-foods seems completely baffling to a lot of people (which I understand first-hand).
  • Restybaby2012
    Restybaby2012 Posts: 568 Member
    you set yourself up to fail. i set myself up to be batman.


    if I be really gewd can I be your "Robin"


    LOL:blushing:
  • AmberJo1984
    AmberJo1984 Posts: 1,067 Member
    AMAZING post. Thank you for the motivation. You are absolutely right. I've been doing it to myself. It's something I constantly have to fight... because I want this to be a lifestyle... not even a habit (because those can be "broken"). I want it to be who I am. And, I want to be healthy... not just "thin". I need to remember to look at the whole process... and not just one day.
  • AquaFitQueen
    AquaFitQueen Posts: 218 Member
    The difference is, some people are here to diet to a new dress size and others are here to learn their forever way of eating. I am farrrrr from perfect and have had some seriously atrocious days, but I still log on and log every bite and lick as this is my forever way of eating, not a diet. I don't have cheat days as this isn't a game or a relationship or a test or a diet, but I do have days that are worse than others, but owell Im in this for the long haul!

    Great post!
  • AmberJo1984
    AmberJo1984 Posts: 1,067 Member
    The difference is, some people are here to diet to a new dress size and others are here to learn their forever way of eating. I am farrrrr from perfect and have had some seriously atrocious days, but I still log on and log every bite and lick as this is my forever way of eating, not a diet. I don't have cheat days as this isn't a game or a relationship or a test or a diet, but I do have days that are worse than others, but owell Im in this for the long haul!

    Great post!

    I couldn't have said it any better myself. :smile:
  • Restybaby2012
    Restybaby2012 Posts: 568 Member
    AMAZING post. Thank you for the motivation. You are absolutely right. I've been doing it to myself. It's something I constantly have to fight... because I want this to be a lifestyle... not even a habit (because those can be "broken"). I want it to be who I am. And, I want to be healthy... not just "thin". I need to remember to look at the whole process... and not just one day.

    One of my new favorites is "Who I am is Who I wanna be" (meaning this must become my lifestyle...THATS WHO I AM)
  • 22christy
    22christy Posts: 3 Member
    Good thinking. Thank you for sharing that. Change comes from within. I so often set myself up to fail because I set myself impossible to maintain parameters. Failing was a relief and the resulting binge a joyful, gluttonous orgy of excess. What's the point? Could have just bloated out in the first place.
    I agree entirely that a change of attitude is the goal - and the reward.
  • Capt_Apollo
    Capt_Apollo Posts: 9,026 Member
    you set yourself up to fail. i set myself up to be batman.


    if I be really gewd can I be your "Robin"


    LOL:blushing:

    nope
  • 22christy
    22christy Posts: 3 Member
    Here's a thing. I was told a while ago (and I am struggling mildly to remember who by) this thing;
    Have a human repeat an action 26 times and it will become a habit."
    Actually, it does seem, evidence suggests etc...it does work.
    How about, it might be worth a try?
    Try this: repeat a word - any word at all - try "cow" or "tram", "combustible" or "chuffwarbler" 15 times and judge whether he word still makes any sense to you (probably won't have done since about repetition No:8 - that would be normal).
    I am not a Scientologist. I do, however, believe that we are all quite easily programmable and that we have been.
    Who on this Earth would choose to be unhappy or unhealthy? Well, I did. Now, I'm choosing not to.
  • Restybaby2012
    Restybaby2012 Posts: 568 Member
    you set yourself up to fail. i set myself up to be batman.


    if I be really gewd can I be your "Robin"


    LOL:blushing:

    nope

    ~sigh~

    Imsomisunderstood