When people start hating you because you are losing weight?

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  • rizzaG
    rizzaG Posts: 110
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    I'm sorry you have to experience that, but you gotta keep that head up high and stay confident and motivated no matter what. You are doing the right thing for yourself and always have the courage to pursue your goal. We don't have the control of how people react to it we can only control ours. DO NOT be an easy target if people feel they could easily put you down then they would and they will continue.

    Keep your focus, stay confident knowing you are doing the right thing especially for yourself. Do not entertain any negative thoughts. All these will only make you a stronger person. With that I'd like to share with you my all time favorite quotation by Charles Swindol:

    “The longer I live, the more I realize the impact of attitude on life. Attitude, to me, is more important than facts. It is more important than the past, the education, the money, than circumstances, than failure, than successes, than what other people think or say or do. It is more important than appearance, giftedness or skill. It will make or break a company... a church... a home. The remarkable thing is we have a choice everyday regarding the attitude we will embrace for that day. We cannot change our past... we cannot change the fact that people will act in a certain way. We cannot change the inevitable. The only thing we can do is play on the one string we have, and that is our attitude. I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% of how I react to it. And so it is with you... we are in charge of our Attitudes.”
  • islandnutshel
    islandnutshel Posts: 1,143 Member
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    I tend to be careful about being modest about the weight loss. I stress that it is hard work and that I am committed because I have degenerative disc disease and I must lose weight or I will become increasingly immobile. If you take the empasis off of the appearance, and be grateful for them aknowledging your hard work, and even say that you appreciate everyone being supportive, it gives them an opportunity to live up to your praise.
  • hooperkay
    hooperkay Posts: 463 Member
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    depending on where you work there are anti bullying laws. At my work there are harrassment policies. Just the fact that you feel threatened is harrassment. Go to the equal opportunity officer. If it's a small place and not one available, then go to highest boss and talk to them. If it is insignificant job then get another one. Tell them you are there to work and not to play silly childlike games.
  • michellematteson
    michellematteson Posts: 134
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    Generally I would say screw them and ignore the haters, but the moment they start messing with your work and trying to get you fired the gloves are off. That is making a hostile work environment and you should not have to deal with that. Time to get HR and/or your boss in the loop of what is happening. Try to keep it unemotional but full of facts of what has been happening (for example I would leave out the glaring part, that is something you can't prove and could make you look just paranoid). Your management may be the type that doesn't want to get involved in a personal fight, but let them know that if someone it lying to them to try to get to you that it is in their best interest to make it stop. Good luck, and don't let them get you down.
  • Mslajackson
    Mslajackson Posts: 46 Member
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    Ignore them, keep it moving & do ya thing!!!... good or bad, people are gonna talk...it can't be avoided.
  • sleibo87
    sleibo87 Posts: 403 Member
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    I guess I'm pretty lucky not to have this problem. I work at a car dealership and my working environment is mostly men, so they are enjoying the skinnier me lol. It is weird that now I have men flirting with me that never paid much attention to me before but o well. Most the women at my work are in the business office and I know they all have their drama but since I work in another department, being the only girl, I don't get involved with that stuff. Most of the women however are pretty nice to me and tell me how good I'm looking. I even got a few to start the Jillian Videos I am doing. But good luck with that cause I know it must not be fun! I am more worried about seeing my sisters in a few weeks who I haven't seen in 6 months and they have no clue I'm losing weight. They tend to be very harsh to me and not that supportive and I have a feeling they are going to be caddy about it. But that is their problem, not mine :)
  • MuddyEquestrian
    MuddyEquestrian Posts: 366 Member
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    What makes you think it's because you've lost weight? Could it be something else? Are all of the "mean" women overweight?

    In my case I can say that all the woman making the mean comments are overweight or obese. I have yet to be "picked on" by a healthy sized woman!
  • Danayle
    Danayle Posts: 74 Member
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    That's reall too bad. I would hope that even if I were jealous of someone losing weight I wouldn't be mean to them. I work in a small office where it's just my boss, two guys, and myself. My boss is skinny, and I don't think she's the type of person who would be mean to people because they're losing weight even if she were overweight.
  • bradphil87
    bradphil87 Posts: 617 Member
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    If you don't have "haters" your not working hard enough!!!! But seriously, a lot of people are like that. That's how I can tell friends from fake friends. Real ones will be ecstatic and share in your successes! Just like I do in theirs!!!! Fake friends will stop calling you as much and keep their distance. Some people don't like the new brad, am I that much different? Not really. Do I want to go out and drink on Saturday night? (Tonight, and I was offered to go a few places) no thanks, I'd prefer to lift (which I did) and sleep to wake up ready to work out before the game tomarrow :)
  • lacroyx
    lacroyx Posts: 5,754 Member
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    I'm sorry to hear you are going through all of this. I wish I had something to say to help. I work nights so I don't have that many "co-workers" From 1 -4. None have ever been mean to me or try to get me in trouble. Quite the opposite actually. I work weekends as well and it's rarely busy at my work. I'll go outside for 20-30 mins to walk and my co-workers are supportive. They will cover for me if needed while I am away from my desk. I hope you can get things resolved.
  • Sarah_Wins
    Sarah_Wins Posts: 936 Member
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    I face this every day at work. Coincidentally, my clothes keep getting tighter, shorter, etc.... And I just LOL. :wink:
  • Twiliightmoon
    Twiliightmoon Posts: 39
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    Women are a whole different animal than men. I get praise from some women and sneers from others at my workplace. I have one person who sits near me and analyses everything I eat. She feels I should get my blood checked because I am eating way too much protein and somehow she feels it will make my blood out of whack. She also thinks it's gross I put spinach in my smoothies. She won't attempt to try it, she has just decided it is gross. She does belong to Weight Watchers...I don't know what their program person is teaching them.

    I think it's hard for people who have been trying for years to take off weight, and have been unsuccessful, to see other people look like they are taking off weight effortlessly. They think it's effortless, we know different. This site is one of my best motivations and so are the people who support me. If anyone ever asks how I've lost my weight, I tell them about MFP. I go to the gym 4 times a week, and have changed my eating habits. I even take some of the negative comments I hear, and use them to motivate me. For me, it works.
  • Impy84
    Impy84 Posts: 430
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    Someone will always "hate" or dislike you for one reason or another. Whether you know it or not. If my getting swexy is the reason they choose to go with then more power to them.
    I can't be bothered to give to good hot shyts.

    I've worked too hard and too long to get to a point where I don't hate me for fks sake. Why worry about what other ppl think. I'm not living to please them
  • heatherloveslifting
    heatherloveslifting Posts: 1,428 Member
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    I'm sorry you have to deal with this. I don't really have any advice except know that you are not alone in having to deal with drastic changes in the way people respond to you after losing weight. I honestly think learning how to handle it at least as difficult as losing weight in the first place. Hopefully it will get easier with time, once the novelty wears off and we have more experience handling it. Good luck!
    ETA I am really sad that you have to deal with this kind of jealous behavior, but I did want to thank you for posting this- my own issues are different, but it makes me feel a little better to know I'm not the only one experiencing dramatic changes in the way people treat me and not knowing what to do about it.
  • darrensurrey
    darrensurrey Posts: 3,942 Member
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    Do you go on and on about being fit and healthy and counting calories and losing weight? That could annoy them. I probably annoy everyone I speak to. :happy:
  • Hellavaloosa
    Hellavaloosa Posts: 57
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    What makes you think it's because you've lost weight? Could it be something else? Are all of the "mean" women overweight?

    In my case I can say that all the woman making the mean comments are overweight or obese. I have yet to be "picked on" by a healthy sized woman!

    I have this problem with my overweight boss and another overweight colleague. Women who feel comfortable with themselves have told me I look good. Yes my attitude has changed but I rarely mention my weightloss - it is them who bring it up. My boss even admitted she was jealous one day when I had had enough of her eye-rolling and snarky comments about eating disorders so I told her to not say anything at all if she couldn't say something nice.

    Seems there will always be these sorts of people and I'm afraid I have probably been guilty of similarly jealous behaviour towards other slim women. It makes me want to apologise to all the slim women in the world who I have ever been mean to!!!

    I guess the only way to deal with it is to take their behaviour as a roundabout compliment - you have something good going on and they want a piece of it for themselves!
  • hughtwalker
    hughtwalker Posts: 2,213 Member
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    losing weight is like giving up smoking - it challenges those who know they should but haven't got round to it.

    If their negativity - or even hostility - makes you give up then they can relax.
    - and the funny thing is, they don't even know they are doing it half the time and would be most indignant if you suggested they are.
  • CassieReannan
    CassieReannan Posts: 1,479 Member
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    Seems like jealously to me!
  • Restybaby2012
    Restybaby2012 Posts: 568 Member
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    Im probably older than most of ya but Im running into this as well. My twin sister and my younger brother ...BOTH with even worse weight issues than me.....and some women at work....older than me...are doing this type of thing. I just dont understand it. I understand if they dont or couldnt be supportive but to be mean or rude or nasty is just uncalled for. I wonder to what avail? How can it make them feel better? What do they achieve by being rude and nasty?

    I know just with the weight I have lost I feel better..more productive, more positive, more energized, more confident and just generally better WHY do ya need to put me down because of it?

    I wish people werent this way but I really wish I could understand it more,


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  • Moniqua1
    Moniqua1 Posts: 195 Member
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    Honestly, my boyfriend has put me down for losing "too much" weight. Screw em all. It's your health and happiness. If someone doesn't like you for a physical reason, well, guess what? It was never who you were that kept them around., fake a** bit**es. Easier said than done because it hurts to the core, but you can't make people be gracious.

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