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I don't even know what to title this...rant, maybe?

Mandino788
Mandino788 Posts: 226 Member
edited January 1 in Motivation and Support
My mom.....She is supportive of me trying to lose weight but at the same time makes it difficult. I've posted before about her getting mad if I don't want to go out to eat with her but yesterday I noticed something else.

We were on a road trip, the only meal I ate at home was breakfast but managed to stay under my calories, wooohooo!!! Anyways I had made a comments about how I only had a certain number of calories left for the day and I didn't want to go over. I don't remember the exact quote of what she say but it was to the effect of "It doesn't matter, you're losing so much weight."

It does matter! It really does! I'm not disciplined enough at this point to be able to go over. I need to stay under my 1300 calories every day or I will start slacking again.

I went on what was essentially a month long binge and gained back the weight I had lost since starting MFP (about 7 pounds so not anything HUGE but still...I worked hard for those 7 pounds dang it) and then some. I'm as of today back down to where I started. I don't know if it's because she's my mom and she sees the best out of what I'm doing (which is kind of unlike her) or what.

Her eating habits are horrendous. After watching her dip pork rinds into french onion dip on our road trip yesterday I tried to talk to her but she wouldn't let me. After her second "I *need* soda" comment of the day, on the way home, I asked her "why did you stop caring about being healthy?" She said "I just don't care anymore," she's going through some pretty rough stuff at work. I told her "What we eat and the choices we make are going to influence how Luke (my 4 year old nephew) eats for the rest of his life." She didn't say anything back but I'm hoping that did something for her, maybe we can ALL start working on being healthier. Having her support would mean the world to me. My dad is a yo-yo dieter, right now he's on the wagon and doing WW, my sister is on her, as are a bunch of my friends...but my mom...she just doesn't care.

Replies

  • ctgirlscout
    ctgirlscout Posts: 90 Member
    People have to want to help themselves, you can't find their motivation for them. The best you can hope for is if she sees everyone around her trying to eat healthy and getting results, then maybe she will follow suit.
  • magj0y
    magj0y Posts: 1,911 Member
    I suggest you look at other health oriented websites to look at how many calories you should eat to lose 1 lb a week and 1.5 lbs a week. If you need to lose 80 or so pounds, a 1300 daily cal diet is pretty low. MFP routinely has a lower calorie suggestion.

    Also, check this website out;

    http://www.freedieting.com/tools/calorie_calculator.htm

    This will help you allocate a variety of calorie intake through the week and still be at the caloric goal you want at the end of that week. That way, when you have a 'fun' day, you can use your high cal day there, and a low cal day on a day that will be low-key.

    **Also, stop badgering her. It's seems useless and maybe a different approach works. You are right that the eating habits your nephew learns now will carry him through life. She is being insensitive, but hopefully you can learn to shrug this off.

    maybe you and your sister can each have her over 1x a week for a healthy meal? introduce her to snacks that are good for you and actually tastes good.
  • LordByproduct
    LordByproduct Posts: 117
    i hear a bit of codependency in this relationship. that not that unusual but it can be a very serious problem for you. i too have had to struggle to get friends and family to take serious my attempts to change. my mom still tries to feed me giant farm boy sized portions when i come to visit. she thinks that will fill me up and then i wont "snack" later.....misguided for sure. the answer for me is to push the plate away and learn to use self control and set good boundarys. its VERY satisfying when you finally convince people that you are changing.....they may even make some healthier choices BECAUSE of you. be a leader, you can do it. show the way....
  • Mandino788
    Mandino788 Posts: 226 Member
    I suggest you look at other health oriented websites to look at how many calories you should eat to lose 1 lb a week and 1.5 lbs a week. If you need to lose 80 or so pounds, a 1300 daily cal diet is pretty low. MFP routinely has a lower calorie suggestion.

    Also, check this website out;

    http://www.freedieting.com/tools/calorie_calculator.htm

    This will help you allocate a variety of calorie intake through the week and still be at the caloric goal you want at the end of that week. That way, when you have a 'fun' day, you can use your high cal day there, and a low cal day on a day that will be low-key.

    **Also, stop badgering her. It's seems useless and maybe a different approach works. You are right that the eating habits your nephew learns now will carry him through life. She is being insensitive, but hopefully you can learn to shrug this off.

    maybe you and your sister can each have her over 1x a week for a healthy meal? introduce her to snacks that are good for you and actually tastes good.

    I tried the link, it said 1704... That seems a bit high for me, I'll try 1500 and see how it goes, if not that much changes ill try 1700. Thanks :)
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