When people start hating you because you are losing weight?

Options
13

Replies

  • wanda9501
    wanda9501 Posts: 114
    Options
    Lucky for you, at the end of the day you can come here where you have "friends" who will be happy for you on your weight loss. Who will celebrate with you and not bring you down. And, this site is like therapy for free!
  • BarbaraC47
    BarbaraC47 Posts: 175 Member
    Options
    I walked out of my job a year ago this month because of bullying - it drove to me depression it was so bad. I sat at home for 3 months and then WHAM!! I got off my *kitten* and took a good long look at myself. I started small by trying to get dressed a couple of times a week, took an interest in what I looked like and finally started to diet.

    I'll be honest with you - I've not seen any of the women who treated me so badly since then but if I ever do then i will thank them for making me re-assess myself. Don't get me wrong, the words/looks/actions still hurt but I am getting there, and gonna look a whole lot better at the end of this.....

    Use them as motivation, but do not EVER think that what they say/do is right. You control your life, nobody else - and you only get one shot at it, so go for it with a smile on your face knowing you are doing your best. Just remember if an old bird like me can do it then what's stopping you??

    :wink: :wink: :wink: :wink: :wink:
  • girish_ph
    girish_ph Posts: 148 Member
    Options
    DELETED
  • jadesign19
    jadesign19 Posts: 512 Member
    Options
    [quote

    Keep your focus, stay confident knowing you are doing the right thing especially for yourself. Do not entertain any negative thoughts. All these will only make you a stronger person. With that I'd like to share with you my all time favorite quotation by Charles Swindol:

    “The longer I live, the more I realize the impact of attitude on life. Attitude, to me, is more important than facts. It is more important than the past, the education, the money, than circumstances, than failure, than successes, than what other people think or say or do. It is more important than appearance, giftedness or skill. It will make or break a company... a church... a home. The remarkable thing is we have a choice everyday regarding the attitude we will embrace for that day. We cannot change our past... we cannot change the fact that people will act in a certain way. We cannot change the inevitable. The only thing we can do is play on the one string we have, and that is our attitude. I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% of how I react to it. And so it is with you... we are in charge of our Attitudes.”
    [/quote]

    I love this! It is so true. Great post.
  • letjog
    letjog Posts: 260 Member
    Options
    Is it possible that your attitude has changed since you lost weight and that's what they don't like?

    ^^this
  • Tangerine302
    Tangerine302 Posts: 1,509 Member
    Options
    I have found that you will know a genuinely good person by the way you are treated no matter what size or shape you are. They will treat you equally, have a nice personality, and just have a better attitude on life. It really doesn't do a person any good to be negative. It plainly shows just how unhappy they are and isn't a good quality to have.

    I have also found that some women do not like other women. You will know which ones they are and it's best to stay away from them. :)
  • magsl71
    magsl71 Posts: 5 Member
    Options
    Human beings are weird species, sometimes. It's in our nature to corrupt good people who have these incredible goals, and to add salt to the wound, these good people go out there and achieve those incredible goals. You are one of those incredible achievers. It's hard to ignore negative talk, especially if it concerns you. Unless you have thick skin, and can be robotic about the whole thing, the negativity will always hit you where it hurts most.

    Ignore those people. They are not worth your time, energy, or mind space. People gossip because they WANT to, not because they HAVE to or NEED to. And insecurity is usually the culprit as to why people go down this negative path. They simply don't have what you have. They must have really boring lives if they have to start victimizing you and your success.

    Remember why you started this journey in the first place. You've come this far. Keep on going.

    Stay strong and positive.
  • LaylaLoses
    LaylaLoses Posts: 23
    Options
    I walked out of my job a year ago this month because of bullying - it drove to me depression it was so bad. I sat at home for 3 months and then WHAM!! I got off my *kitten* and took a good long look at myself. I started small by trying to get dressed a couple of times a week, took an interest in what I looked like and finally started to diet.

    I'll be honest with you - I've not seen any of the women who treated me so badly since then but if I ever do then i will thank them for making me re-assess myself. Don't get me wrong, the words/looks/actions still hurt but I am getting there, and gonna look a whole lot better at the end of this.....

    Use them as motivation, but do not EVER think that what they say/do is right. You control your life, nobody else - and you only get one shot at it, so go for it with a smile on your face knowing you are doing your best. Just remember if an old bird like me can do it then what's stopping you??

    :wink: :wink: :wink: :wink: :wink:

    Thank you for posting this. The circumstances driving us to change are very similar, and I needed some inspiration this morning. :)
  • kitamatos
    kitamatos Posts: 1 Member
    Options
    Hi my nikita and I have felt that way before, All I can tell you is keep reaching for your weight goal that will make you happy because people will always hate on another person that they see making progress..... Most of the time its just them not being happy within them self.... Also some people feel like when others lose weight that they will change the way that they see them self and of couse we do that's why we make a change to feel better about ourselves but that doesnt change who you are as a person.....:smile:
  • Capt_Apollo
    Capt_Apollo Posts: 9,026 Member
    Options
    it's all your fault. i'm serious. it's you thats changed. don't worry, thats a good thing.

    you've conquered a huge personal challenge, and because of that you have more confidence, which is why it looks like you walk around "stuck up."

    congrats!
  • Amy911Gray
    Amy911Gray Posts: 685 Member
    Options
    I'm getting a bit of that--people are telling me not to lose anymore weight. People can be mean when they think you look better than they do.

    Jealousy triggers all sorts of things.
  • nancykhayes
    nancykhayes Posts: 20 Member
    Options
    I have noticed that with my weight loss too. What I want to ask people to do is notice how complete strangers treat you when you lose weight. We all know we are the same people when we are heavy or when we are lighter, however, I have noticed in the past when I was really at my goal weight that strangers are so much kinder to you. I have been at the super market or mall and had the people working there very eager to help me. People speak to you more when you are thinner. It almost amuses me to sit back and watch how people act. I am working on getting back to my goal again. I am going to see if people still change towards me this time.
  • super_monty
    super_monty Posts: 419 Member
    Options
    A male perspective!!

    I have worked in large offices for 20 odd years and have often noticed that women form cliques as men do, some of these groups are just nasty. But there is a difference some women seem to have less solidarity in general compared to men and ***** about everything possible. Women often see to other women as 'threats' especially intelligent or pretty women, then often just mean to overweight no so pretty women(sorry to sound cruel).

    These groups are often just damn right mean and teasing can go on for months.

    I don't wont to sound mean here but as you have lost weight they will have noticed you may possible be more attractive and in there sub-coincuis become a 'new threat'.

    The word 'threat' is also weird just may simply just be drawing attention from them or they may be jealous.


    Of course this can be applied to males as well, but men are likely imo to ***** about another man's hair, clothes, weight or make up!!!!

    Edit: Well done by the way.
  • MFPBrandy
    MFPBrandy Posts: 564 Member
    Options
    Honestly, my boyfriend has put me down for losing "too much" weight. Screw em all. It's your health and happiness. If someone doesn't like you for a physical reason, well, guess what? It was never who you were that kept them around., fake a** bit**es. Easier said than done because it hurts to the core, but you can't make people be gracious.
    Your boyfriend could be acting like an @$$, I don't know because I'm not there. If he really is putting you down, that's unsat, and ignore the rest of this post. That said, guys have it kind of rough when it comes to women and their weight. First off, many of them suffer from a communication handicap (particularly the younger ones), so they're already at a disadvantage. Add the fact that weight is such a touchy subject -- saying they like the new body means they didn't like the old one. There are a million weight-related conversational traps that some men are desperately trying to avoid. So is it possible he's just trying (and failing) to show you that he never thought you needed improvement in the first place? Or perhaps he really is worried for your health? Like I said, I'm not there and I don't know what's going on -- just pointing out that when it comes to interactions between men and women, what comes out of a man's mouth isn't always an accurate (to women's ears) translation of what's going on inside his head. :-)
  • tikafly
    tikafly Posts: 184 Member
    Options
    This is just another reason why it takes such courage to make these types of changes in our lives.
  • Restybaby2012
    Restybaby2012 Posts: 568 Member
    Options
    I should have edited my post to say that what Im going through at work and with some family is a little different. Im not even close to goal weight...I still want to lose 100 pounds give or take. If they view me as any kind of threat now...........wait til Im at or close to goal!!! I guarantee to give them something to talk about....or at least think about!!! Im not known NOW for being real shy!!! LOL


    I do wish the OP a lotta success
  • JenRei87
    JenRei87 Posts: 91 Member
    Options
    Thanks for all your replies it makes me feel better that I'm not the only one going through this :) No my attitude at work hasn't changed and I don't talk about my weight or myself at all since I'm usually very busy. I do get the random, "are you losing weight" question which I reply with a simple smile and a yes. Today one of them first locked me out of the building even though she saw me coming which caused me to clock in late, then she came up to me during lunch and asked me what I'm I doing to lose weight which I replied with eating right and working out which she replied to rolling her eyes and sneering. So much for professionalism -_- But oh well I have alerted my boss and she will keep an eye on the situation, still I have chosen to ignore them, and keep at it no jealous freak will keep me from my goal! I have to be healthy first of all and look good in that wedding dress that I'm buying in March :)
  • smily159
    smily159 Posts: 13
    Options
    I've been going through the same thing with my friends and co-workers. I just have to remind myself that my weight loss wasn't easy, that I earned it... and I have no reason to apologize for it. I like being skinnier! I try to be as encouraging as possible to my friends that say they want to lose weight, but I just keep doing what I'm doing because it continues to work :)
  • nicholettebell
    nicholettebell Posts: 414
    Options
    Is it possible that your attitude has changed since you lost weight and that's what they don't like?

    Possibly this. I know for me I have become much more arrogant. Fortunately, it's reserved only for my friends, but yeah...it gets old.
  • JenRei87
    JenRei87 Posts: 91 Member
    Options
    that's the thing though my attitude hasn't changed, :O I'm a rather reserved person and quite shy. I'm always nice to people including these people but they're the ones changing on me ... -_-

Categories