When encouragement becomes hatred

SweetCheekszx0 · October 2012

When I first started everyone wanted to be sportive and now that I'm 15 lbs away from my weight goal I get the most nice yet indirect your too small comments. & it really peeves me because I'm 5'0 and I even tho I know I'm not to thin and I feel I dnt have to prove myself by flipping my shirt up to show it I still end up flipping my shirt up to show it shuts them up real quick. But it's quite annoying just because someone may be content borderline overweight doesn't mean I have to be mommies deserve a flat tummy as well not just to be average. The ther day on fb a friend said boy you look great but geez u want to get smaller then that? Like wtf?

lmelangley · October 2012

I get the comments, too, and they've always annoyed me. But, recently, I've started to see the other side. About 9 months into my journey, my husband joined me. He's now lost close to 50 lbs. Realistically, I know he still needs to lose another 10 to be in the healthy BMI range, when I look at him, he seems so skinny that another 10 lbs is too much. I think it's that we get used to seeing someone and when they transform, the change is so drastic we just can't envision them smaller.

The bottom line is, we have to do what's good for us.

Good luck!

KelseyAnne11 · October 2012

Ignore the people that are saying you're too skinny now or going to get too skinny. You know whats right.. I guess people get freaked out by weight loss these days because they automatically think of eating disorders. But keep going until you reach your goal.. there are gonna be people that will be jealous of your motivation (and hot body) :P

SweetCheekszx0 · October 2012

Lol thank you!!! & you are 100% correct about the eating disorders. If I posted a pic of my dinner ppl would prob die of how much I actually eat lmao. They prob think I eat nothing but truth is I still have my t bone steaks just with broccoli instead of rice. ❤ My boyfriends the one who actually bounces me bak he always tells me stop looking for approval and get too your GW you wanna have a flat tummy then do it everyone u ask is going to keep telling u their opinion go with your not theirs .

JNC1987 · October 2012

Hey as long as you are feeling healthy and are happy ignore people who want to judge you. My whole life I have been looked at for being way to big, I can't imagine the opposite end of the scales any more fun. There are women with eating disorders who obviously are far to thin for health reasons, but as long as you aren't unhealthy keep on keeping on!

ZugTheMegasaurus · October 2012

I get the comments, too, and they've always annoyed me. But, recently, I've started to see the other side. About 9 months into my journey, my husband joined me. He's now lost close to 50 lbs. Realistically, I know he still needs to lose another 10 to be in the healthy BMI range, when I look at him, he seems so skinny that another 10 lbs is too much. I think it's that we get used to seeing someone and when they transform, the change is so drastic we just can't envision them smaller.

Thank you for sharing this perspective. Whenever these threads pop up, people invariably will blame those "you're too skinny" reactions on jealousy or people just being jerks. But as your post shows, that might not be the case. For some reason, we never allow for the possibility that those reactions are genuine. For us, it's so obvious that we're still fat and need to lose weight that we don't even consider that it might not be obvious to everyone else.

lindsaykdesigns · October 2012

This is kind of why I'm afraid to speak up to anyone except my family and absolute CLOSEST friends (like maybe one or two) about needing to gain weight and how serious it is to me. At first it was "Oh, damn, I can't donate plasma, few pounds short, haha, give me that donut" but now it's gotten more serious than that (it's not related to an eating disorder, let's just get that out of the way right now) and I'm paying closer attention to it, the same way someone would if they were dieting and trying to lose weight like anyone else on this board. But I'm worried if I mentioned my frustrations of stepping on the scale and seeing that for the first time in post-puberty I'm still NOT above 100 (actually it's the first time in post-puberty that i've below 105), and thus underweight, people are going to be like "OHHHH I'm SOOOOOO SORRY FOR YOU. Geez, go eat a sandwich and a coke and stop complaining." in their most sarcastic tone and have no understanding that it can indeed be just as hard to gain weight as it is to lose it, believe it or not - if you're gonna be somewhat healthy about it, that is.

I can't imagine the opposite end of the scales any more fun. There are women with eating disorders who obviously are far to thin for health reasons

Word! It's not any fun. Next person that thinks you are too skinny, just invite them to work out with you sometime!! It'll shut them up fast, trust me. I knew I was starting to get underweight because I felt weak at my kettlebell class which I used to kick *kitten* at.

I wanna go back, but not til I get this sorted out.

SweetCheekszx0 · October 2012

@lindsay thanks for sharing ❤ my heart goes out to your situation whatever it may exactly be

my boyfriend is underweight and can't gain a lb healthily or unhealthily .. So yes I do know how hard t can be both ways;)

lindsaykdesigns · October 2012

Oops I edited right as you replied. It's just right at the end of my post

And thanks for the support, I really appreciate it

TheFitHooker · October 2012

10lbs from my goal, I hear it all the time, my MIL even asked me to promise her I would not lose anymore weight, I crossed my fingers to shut her up. It's my body and I know I'm not too thin. She asked me this when I reached the high end of average and I'm now in the middle range, so yeah I've kept going. Screw that crap! It's me who needs to be happy, I started out doing it for myself and I'll get to where I'M HAPPY not where everyone is happy for me.

When encouragement becomes hatred

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