Falling out of love with MFP

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stuartadair1
stuartadair1 Posts: 46 Member
in Health and Weight Loss
Hello all

A couple of chaser messages from my MFP friends has given me a kick and got me posting here - And I'm grateful for their pressure. Not feeling sorry for myself (I dont do that!), however I am drifing away from MFP and I dont understand why - Its frustrating the hell out of me.

The 'old' routine was up, work, gym, eat properly and log everything. About 6 weeks ago the routine changed when Mrs Wife got a great new job and I had to go working away for a bit. We've also got a holiday coming up and last minute details are taking over my thoughts - All of this has affected the routine and I've gone to pieces when it comes to sensible eating. I've not even been to the gym for about 3 weeks and I'm putting weight back on.

I know for sure that I'm not the only person ever to have been through this battle so guide me - How do I re-establish the routine,

Stu
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Replies

  • idabentley
    idabentley Posts: 59 Member
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    Hi I wonder if having a look at Prochaska and DiClemente's cycle of change will help you to make sense of what is going on! It seems that at the moment you lots of changes going on, wife's new job, great but how does that impact on you?' Your own work and having to work away, either not being able to go to the gym because of other demands on your time, or losing the motivation, remember that often we don't feel like going to the gym but when we are there and certainly after we can feel really good, including for me feeling smug. You've also got the hols coming up, great but stressful. Be kind to yourself, review your goals, if there are competing goals, come to some resolution, either giving up on one, or modification, determine what route it is best for you to take to achieve your goals and take it. Maybe at the moment you are taking the explorers route rather that shortest, quickest route from A to B. All the best.
  • pinkspanglystar
    pinkspanglystar Posts: 35 Member
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    rrrrrr sweety how rude of us to let you pull so far away when you have been such a support for everyone on here!!

    I think we all go through the "rut" part when it comes to loosing weight and its the same with anything. When we make a lifestyle change we feel all motivated and ready to go but as we get further into it we kinda get a bit bored and loose the will to stick with it. Think I am kinda near the same place as I have lost a stone then lost the will to loose anymore :)

    One thing I am in the middle of doing though is a big picture to go up in my bedroom to remind me every day why I am trying to loose weight!! I am gonna include pics of the holls that I have booked for next year, the clothes that I wanna get that dont come in tent size and all the things I wanna do without loosing a lung like go up Kili!! Remembering why you are on here and why you want to do this can sometimes be the motivation we need to force us to shift it!!

    Also as winter comes in it gets so much harder to do stuff (exercise) so thats when ya need to use blackmail tricks on yourself!!

    Big hug xxx Dont leave us all!! You have done too well to give in!! And you putting this on here shows you still have the motivation in you somewhere!! You just need to trade in your slippers for running shoes :)
  • cardenalera
    cardenalera Posts: 18 Member
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    Oh Stuart! I find it hard to believe your drifting away yet so easy! I've been there so many times I've lost count!

    I've found that for myself routine is a deal breaker, I get bored and although I still do stuff I do it without motivation and after a while I just give up. And then beat myself up for doing just that. But no more! What I do now is create a habit, something that I WANT to do no matter what happens during the rest of the day. That way is so much easier for me, because I don't see it as an obligation but more like a gift that I give to myself. And when I'm exercising and it hurts, or when I don't even want to exercise I think of WHY I want to do this. Like pinkspanglyst said, it can be a picture or a particular clothing size, some activity you want to do but your weight has stopped you, or remembering a moment when you felt bad or embarrassed because of how you look (which is what I do).

    I constantly change my exercises just so I don't get bored with them, same with food.. Because life can go many ways. Chances are your schedule is gonna change or you're going in a trip, even your wife can get a new awesome job (congrats, btw!) and you can feel that everything is falling apart. Also, I kind of set a trigger, when I see one of my friends works out and I don't, I HAVE to get my butt of the bed and do it!

    This journey is definitely not a straight one, and I understood late that friends are an important part of it. Not just someone who says "I support you" but someone who can say "I know what you're going through cause I've been there". Definitely not the same thing.

    Stick around, please! You can do whatever you set your mind to!
  • dawneekoz
    dawneekoz Posts: 18 Member
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    Hi Stuart, I go through my own ruts all the time. Been through one myself lately and yesterday was my first day in a while tracking EVERYTHING as I should. At one point logging in and seeing "Stuart has not logged in for 3 days" actually gave me a little relief that even someone as dedicated as you would miss some days. It just happens. For now, don't obsess so much on routine, just log what you eat, even if it is CRAP, even if you are just guessing on portions at the end of the day, just get it in. You are not always going to be gung ho about tracking this stuff, believe me, and it isn't always going to fit perfectly with your routine or lack thereof. So just do the best you can today. Don't worry about tomorrow and don't stress about what you didn't do right yesterday. Just track today. You will feel better about it all if you do, trust me.
  • thethingirlinside
    thethingirlinside Posts: 101
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    Hi,just want to say good job,you can do it .fake till to make it ..Don't think so much about what you haven't been doing think about today what your gonna do just get out side and smell the flowers or what ever your around .its amazeing what fresh air a blue ski will do for a person .move forward today is a new day ..what do you really injoy do it .go fo. r it !!,!!
  • SunnyAndrsn
    SunnyAndrsn Posts: 369 Member
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    BTDT. You are NOT alone. I wish I could describe how/when it re-connected for me. I don't have a cut and dried answer to that. Maybe it was when I realized I didn't even have the energy to walk up 2 flights of stairs. Maybe it was when I was taking care of a woman my weight and height and realized how large I really was, and what was in store for my health if I didn't change. Maybe it was looking at my family history of type 2 diabetes and strokes that finally clicked. Maybe it was waking up and realizing that I really truly couldn't do all of the things I wanted to do--I was tired all the time, physically in pain all the time, and had no energy for anyone or anything, including my spouse.

    I saw my father and sister's health deteriorating, and looked at my husband's friends. Many of them are extremely morbidly obese with chronic health problems, including venous stasis ulcers, venous insufficiency, high cholesterol, type 2 diabetes, etc, etc, etc. I listened to one of his friends climbing our little 1/2 flight of stairs in the house. He was huffing and puffing away...is that what I sounded like?!?!

    I wish that all of those things were a sudden wake up call, but I ruminated on all of that for months, probably close to a year, before I started doing anything. I lamented all that I had lost fitness-wise, and it was very discouraging to realize that I could barely stay on the treadmill for 10 minutes at a speed of 2.0.

    If any of this resonates with you, please feel free to add me. Again, you're not alone, but you have to find what motivates YOU. Are you the person you want to be? Can you do everything you want to do, or is your body holding you back?

    Wishing you peace on your journey.
  • riotshows
    riotshows Posts: 32
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    Hi Stuart,

    I feel like it is a life journey to be healthier and be impowered by the control I know take of myself. The most important thing for
    me is to allways know that I can allow myself anything I want. By having this mindset it is much easier to follow a great plan but
    have that turkey dinner on Thanksgiving. Eat that chocolate bar (which I only crave about once a month now). I just keep reinventing the wheel with changes in what I do and what I eat that seem to cycle and keep me interested. You have to let yourself make changes and do things that might not fit with MFP all the time, but that lead you back with a feeling of control and satisfaction.

    I also am leaving in 10 days for a major vacation 1 month travelling in Europe and ending in a 2 week cruise. So it is going to be
    a challenge, but we love to walk ...so we will be walking, walking, walking and eating healthy, but having that Steak and Kidney Pie in
    London and the French pastries and wine in France, and the Paella in Spain and of course walk, walk, walk :) When we hit the
    cruise with someone else doing the cooking i will pick the healthiest of the awesome menu. Because this cruise has many sea days I will visit the gym..looking out over the ocean. All port days are walk walk walk...So might not gain a pound. But if I do I will be back to see you all when I return to reality. I have a small laptop that I will take with me....but not sure if I will always have internet access.

    I wish you all the best, just keep reinventing the wheel and it will all fall into place. I look forward to your posts about challenges and successes.
  • lroberts5
    lroberts5 Posts: 26
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    Hey Stu, I have seen you chase me down before and I'm sad to see you in a rut, but I'm there too. What I'm doing is what someone else suggested. I'm sorta faking it til I make it. I've stopped logging my food but I'm still trying to get regular exercise in. My son started school in September and I have just lost track of everything since a holiday the weekend before school started. I'm trying to take some of what I've "learned" in tracking and just apply it. I am not likely to log my food forever and I am going to need to learn to how to at least maintain weight without tracking, so these ruts are those trial runs for me. I haven't logged food in a month, but I keep logging in, seeing my friends that are doing great and it reminds me that there is always a place for me to come back to when I am feeling ready again. Try focusing on one thing in times like this, not all of it. For me that was exercise and to hell with the logging. I know we'll see you back.
  • Heather_Rider
    Heather_Rider Posts: 1,159 Member
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    Hello all

    A couple of chaser messages from my MFP friends has given me a kick and got me posting here - And I'm grateful for their pressure. Not feeling sorry for myself (I dont do that!), however I am drifing away from MFP and I dont understand why - Its frustrating the hell out of me.

    The 'old' routine was up, work, gym, eat properly and log everything. About 6 weeks ago the routine changed when Mrs Wife got a great new job and I had to go working away for a bit. We've also got a holiday coming up and last minute details are taking over my thoughts - All of this has affected the routine and I've gone to pieces when it comes to sensible eating. I've not even been to the gym for about 3 weeks and I'm putting weight back on.

    I know for sure that I'm not the only person ever to have been through this battle so guide me - How do I re-establish the routine,

    Stu

    People make extreme changes that fit "for now" its about finding what works "forever"

    I work out only at home, and figure out what i can do at home, on the side of the road, without ANY equipment, ect.

    Also, i have to figure out what i can eat... everywhere. so, i use portion control ONLY. This includes figuring out what i can eat while on the road 24/7. While this may not be the healthiest for me, its only temporary, and i know while doing this, i will not GAIN.

    You need to rethink, and realize how to make food work FOR you, not against you.. then when life throws you a curveball, you will already know how to take it.

    When you can, do all the better things, and your weight will fall off, but when you cant, you will at least know how to keep from gaining.

    Good luck!
  • sugarlips1980
    sugarlips1980 Posts: 361 Member
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    My experience is:
    1) Don't wait to feel in the mood for exercise, just do it NOW. You'll feel good for it after. And maybe probably more motivated or the next day
    2) Similarly, don't wait to feel in the mood for healthy eating and logging, just do it NOW!
    3) Don't look back and feel bad about the past few weeks and the weight gain. It's a blip and this is a lifelong journey.
    4) Take a look at the success stories in the forum

    You can do this!
  • LuckyLeprechaun
    LuckyLeprechaun Posts: 6,296 Member
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    When I had moments where my motivation was slipping, I chose a new challenge for myself. The first one I picked was a couch-to-5K, and the thrill of meeting that challenge was a huge motivation. Pick a goal for yourself that isn't related to the scale, that will take some effort to accompish, and go chase after that. It redirects your mind.
  • jg627
    jg627 Posts: 1,221 Member
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    Are you having an affair? Who is she? Let me guess. It's that little tramp, Spark People, isn't it? I knew it!
  • LoosingMyLast15
    LoosingMyLast15 Posts: 1,457 Member
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    have you tried shaking up your routine. try something new. something outside your comfort zone, maybe a new form of exercise you've been thinking about but for whatever reason you've been too scared to try. take a cooking class. since the holidays are coming up how about trying out new recipes (change fatty old recipes into great for you ones that no one will even notice the fat is missing).

    after a while routines get boring and stale. this past saturday i competed in my first 10k race. signed up at the last minute too but damn did it work to shake things up for me. it's given me the kick i need to continue on.

    good luck!
  • opuntia
    opuntia Posts: 860 Member
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    It can take a while to establish and re-establish routines. What I've found most helpful is to make monthly goals - it is easier to plan in short, time-bound chunks than to plan a routine that will last indefinitely. I make very specific goals for the month, and this makes me start establishing routines to try to accomplish these goals. At the end of the month I evaluate what worked well and what didn't work so well, and I create new goals for the next month based on what I've learnt. I find this helps me to start establishing routines without even realising it
  • Domi_BTGfit
    Domi_BTGfit Posts: 149
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    It is completely understandable that you've drifted - life gets busy! You don't need to log calories to know that you're making good or bad food choices. Your weight loss/maintenance journey is for you and nobody else, so do what works best for you. A friend of mine has lost 20kg this year (44lbs) and he only checks into MFP every 10-14 days just to make sure he's staying on track.

    I login religiously, but then I'm at an office job where I can have the website open in the background all day, and I always have my iPhone app with me whenever I'm not at my desk.

    We're only human and our passions come and go. Just know that you've inspired and supported others, so we will be here if and when you get back into MFP logging.

    Dx
  • EatClean_WashUrNuts
    EatClean_WashUrNuts Posts: 1,590 Member
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    Stu...

    Your greatest challenge is in the mind.

    I will keep this simple and to the point....You either want this or you dont. If you do, you will take action and succeed.
  • stuartadair1
    stuartadair1 Posts: 46 Member
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    Are you having an affair? Who is she? Let me guess. It's that little tramp, Spark People, isn't it? I knew it!

    Bloody hell no - Life's complicated enough without an affair :laugh:

    Folks you've all given me great advice and its reassuring to know that I'm not alone on this journey. Onward ever onward :bigsmile:
  • nxd10
    nxd10 Posts: 4,570 Member
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    Tumultuous times are exactly the time to log. Even if you can't follow your plan, it will remind you of your goals and help you get started again when you're ready. It's also an educational discipline. Who knew that muffin was 550 calories? Maybe you'll skip it tomorrow.

    Try for logging at least once a day. Then go from there.
  • Restybaby2012
    Restybaby2012 Posts: 568 Member
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    COMEON NOW!! Stu.........climb back up on da lite bus..........we're waiting for ya. Please dont delay the bus son....we're waiting. I even left the damn light on for ya.

    We all stumble........we even fall. But we win when we get back up. Isnt there a saying or something about falling 8 times but getting up 9 TIMES!!!!?!!?!?!?!? Well son, this is your 9th time. COMEONE now......

    .........::::::::::::::::reaching out my hand to help you:::::::::::::...................

    Dont let this happen

    cattalkingtoscale.jpg


    Nope.we're here....just comeon back. You cant not fall now and then. We all do it...large or small, often or not...we do. You've SEEN that....but now that you've recognized it, you know what to do about it. Surely you can spare 5 or 10 minutes a day for YOU. You are worth it you know? So is Mrs Stu and any Stu-Kids.....hells bells, even Stu-friends are worth a fantabulosity found only on YOU!!!

    So let us find you climbing back up the steps to the lite bus... COMEON NOW..........REACH OUT........take our collective hand and pull.......pullllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll come on.............we're here...........we're waiting

    how_you_look-original.jpg
  • stuffinmuffin
    stuffinmuffin Posts: 985 Member
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    Like other people have said, we all hit that rut from time to time! Hell, I've been in maintenance for a year and I still find myself there from time to time.

    I found that the best thing was not to make it something I began to despise by putting too much pressure on myself. I worked out how many calories I would need to maintain without and exercise and how many with that way if I didn't feel like working out every day then I knew that I didn't have to so long as I stuck to my calorie limit. Fortunately I do like working out (about 4 days a week) and allowing myself a rest and treat every now and then has kept me doing this for as long as I have. It's the only 'diet' I have ever been on and it's made such a difference to my life I cannot even begin to describe!

    Stick with it but make sure you're not being too hard on yourself. :flowerforyou:

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