I need help... I'm grieving.. and eating..

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primalartistry
primalartistry Posts: 3
in Introduce Yourself
I recently lost my husband to cancer. I have become so depressed. So sad all of the time. There are no support groups here on my Island, in Hawaii... I've put of 15 pounds in under 6 months.. when I went to see my doctor, they said it's not considered "rapid" weight gain.. and to "just watch what I eat" It's not that easy.. I find myself eating to deal with my sadness. I tried exercise. and I just ate afterwards... I'm alone now. No family here on the Island... he was my family. I don't want to move because of my business. Any suggestions on coping with this sort of thing would be so helpful, and appreciated...

Tonya

Replies

  • FutureMASailor
    FutureMASailor Posts: 22 Member
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    It's okay to grieve but you have to move on eventually. Think about what he would have wanted you to do. My best friend recently died (she was a dog but it still counts ), but just because they are gone doesnt mean you can let everything come to a complete stop. Yes, its hard to start everything up again but it does get easier
  • eandrsmom
    eandrsmom Posts: 119
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    Tonya,

    So sorry for your loss. I cannot even fathom what you are going through, so I have no insight to share. But I would love to be able help with whatever encouragement I can, so please friend me! Hopes for a restful night and a better day tomorrow!
  • mgobluetx12
    mgobluetx12 Posts: 1,326 Member
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    I'm so very sorry to hear of your loss. I can't imagine anything worse happening. I feel awful for you not having any family there. Do you at least have any friends you can talk to? You're going through a very tough time and you really have to be as kind to yourself as possible. It's going to take a very long time for you to feel better and you're turning to food, which makes perfect sense. Is there anything else that comforts you that you could turn to instead? Long walks in the beautiful Hawaii weather? Writing in a journal? Knitting or crocheting? I'm trying to think of some things that keep your hands busy and even just get you out of the house altogether. There's not going to be any magic solution here, but maybe try to keep your food choices as healthy as possible? Just don't buy the junk at the store, then it won't be in the house when you're looking for something to make you feel better. I can only imagine at this point that nothing is going to make you feel better, so just do the best you can. My prayers are with you.
  • MPJCRUZ
    MPJCRUZ Posts: 23 Member
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    Hi Tonya,

    So sorry to hear about your husband, I know your world is upside down right now. I gained all my weight due to emotional eating. It was the only thing that made me feel better. I didn't lose a husband but I relocated to CA for my job. I missed my family and friends sooooo bad that I ate all the time. I gained 73lbs and now I'm on the road to recovery by eating right and working out. One of the things that helped me feel better is getting a dog. I got a beautiful English Bulldog and he made all the difference in my world. I then got another one so he wouldn't be alone when I went to work so now I have to English Bulldogs. Kali and Kratos, they rescued me. They filled a void for me. Now, I am just tired of wearing cotton pants and thirts from Walmart because I don't want to go shopping at the mall and I'm tired of being angry and upset about my weight gain so that motivated me to get moving. I have a long way to go but I am on my way. I think with time and findng something that will somewhat fill the void of losing your husband, you will start feeling a little better one day at a time....
  • ItsTimeDave
    ItsTimeDave Posts: 43 Member
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    Hi Tonya,

    Firstly sorry for your sad news, finding words for a time like this isnt easy, but try and keep strong.

    Secondly, YOU are now in the right place to find support and encouragement to aid you with losing the 15 pounds, oh i wish it was just 15 I had to lose, but sadly its not. This is a great community, a place to make freinds and talk about what ever you need help with, reading some of the forum threads make me feel better and makes you realise you can get through most things, given the right support.

    YOU have made a good choice coming here, may your journey be a smooth one.

    :)
  • trixiemou
    trixiemou Posts: 554 Member
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    So Sorry for your loss.

    After my mam passed away a friend suggested starting a journal which I did. I didn't write in it every day but there were times I wanted not just to be thinking things so I wrote them in the journal. Even throughout the night as there were dreams I had which may have been a little strange but meant something to me. Later on when reading through it often made me cry, I honestly think it helped. I even made a comment on the first time afterwards that I realised that I heard myself actually laughing. It does happen, just not when everyone else wants it to.

    Take care x

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