psychological insight?

atlmom · February 2010

so i struggled with 10-20 additional pounds as long as i can remember. yes, my mom always talked about the baby fat, even at 6. so when i ballooned up 50# 7 years ago (about age 39) i became the most overweight person in my family.

i was super stressed out at work and trying to decide about adopting a baby as a single parent. i still call this my baby fat

anyway, i've lost 10-12# several times-with ww usually taking about 3 months to get it off. something happens and i cannot get past that point. it's like i begin to sabotage my success. i begin to feel weird in my body. of course people usually start noticing and i get positive feed back.

as dr phil might say, i must be getting some sort of reward for staying this heavy. i really can't figure it out. i mean who wouldn't want to be more healthy and attractive? is this a control thing?

i did adopt a child-now 4. and i recently changed jobs to decrease my overall stress. i found this program and have lost 8 pounds in less than a month. that's super!

i'd like to loose a lot of weight, but i must loose 20# for my health. i need to loose the weight because i'm borderline hypertensive and prediabetic. i want to be around for my grandchildren.

any insight or suggestions?

drvvork · February 2010

Keep working the site - logging your food and water in your food diary... do your weigh-ins and measurements at least weekly or bi-weekly... and just stick with it and not get discouraged! We are all here at MFP to lose, gain or maintain our weight (me, I've got my added habit that I'm kicking - smoking... actually I want to say I've KICKED IT! :bigsmile: )... but we are here to support each other. But the biggest thing is you need to be honest with yourself - try to stay within your caloric / nutritional guidelines MFP set you up with and just make your modifications and additions of exercise as you go along.

:flowerforyou: Good luck on your journey!! :flowerforyou:

bmarsh777 · February 2010

Hi Atlmom...
I guess the first question you might want to ask yourself is do you believe you deserve to BE attractive and healthy? It seems when people start to give you positive feedback you begin to self-sabatoge. Seems like you have turned those words "Baby fat" into a friend and don't want to let it go. It was a term of endearment from your family for many years for you, probably followed by a smile and giggles. "Baby fat" at 40 something is no longer endearing. You might try finding other words to use when you feel like self sabatoging. Like...I am healthy....I deserve to be (fill int he blank). I am attractive. You have accomplished the first step...recognizing what sends you to the frig (other people recognizing your success), now the next step is to put as many obstacles between you and the frig as you can. Such as, exercise, playing with your child, call a friend, write in a journal.... and the list goes on. Whatever you have to do to get your mind off eating. You might also try rewarding yourself for every complement you get...but not with food! Maybe put aside $1.00 for every time you hear one, then spend the money on something for you...a manicure, pedicure, make up, new bauble or something else that helps you to feel good about yourself. Whatever the issues give yourself some credit. You are trying and know how to be successful in losing weight. I trip to a local counselor for a couple of sessions might help you get over the hump...something to consider. Blessings on your journey....Beth

CrystalT · February 2010

Bravo Beth, well said!!

I don't know what kind of changes you are making, but just try to take it slow. It is easier to make one change a habit and then maintain it while you work on the next than it is if you trying to 10 new changes become habits all at once. Maybe the next few weeks, you try to eat more veggies. Once that's a habit, maybe you try to reduce your sodium intake or increase your water. I've been losing weight for a year now, I've never made it past a few months before. I've never lost this much weight. I think the biggest difference is that I made slow small changes while I educating myself on nutrition and fitness. A year ago, my goal was to be done after a year. Now I don't have a time frame. I do watch the scale, but it has become less about the scale and more about my health. I'm hypertensive and I have high cholesterol and I'm 31!!! I had to make a lifestyle change before I killed myself. Losing the weight is now just an added benefit to that lifestyle change. I'd really rather see my cholesterol go down more than anything else.

amk44 · February 2010

First congratulations on the adoption. How lucky you are!

My thoughts about dieting: I think losing weight is a personal choice to become healthier. And I believe everyone loses weight differently. For me, I have become fascinated with the number of delicious nutritious lowcal foods that I didn't eat before. I made a lettuce, romaine, strawberry, and walnut salad with a lowfat/lowcal/lowcarb dressing, and it was AWESOME! I learned about how to eat a kiwi, and how to steam jicamas. Even though I love fish, I always shied away from making it (except for the heavily battered, shove in the oven kind), and now I feel foolish to admit that, because I learned that making fish is SO easy. Coming from the country, I knew about pan-fried catfish and bullheads, but not about steamed tilapia. :O)

There are SO many delicious low cal foods, so I don't find it particularly difficult staying in my caloric goal. But since I'm retired, I have the time to "make foods" for my husband and me. I've found that almost all prepared foods are too high in sodium, and that discourages me from buying them. I've always loved soups, but am now experimenting with new spices, such as curry, cumin, and turmeric.

I approach my diet as "a game" and I love playing it, because I'm always the winner! Even when my weight plateaus for a couple of days, I know that the fresh fruit salad or romaine lettuce salad or squash and vegetable soup or the salmon souffle that I ate was healthier for me than foods (and yes, candies) that I had eaten before starting this diet. I even found that some cereals are tasty (and nutritious) as a snack. My husband has diabetes and I feel good when I see him choosing to snack on leftovers instead of some of his prior food choices.

My systolic blood pressure has dropped from 153 to 120's (which I celebrate even more than having gone from 173 to 153 pounds); and each day I take a moment to step on the scale and remind myself how important my daily eating habits are. I know it is recommended to do it only once a week, but I think we should each do what we believe is best for ourselves. For me, stepping on the scale is a daily reminder that I AM THE ONE who is making the choices regarding this body.

Wishing you much luck.

kwardklinck · February 2010

I kept extra weight on after my mom died. I just stopped caring about myself. I've been on many diets in the last 7 years but always stopped when I was within 10 pounds of my goal. There is a psychological thing to it. A lifestyle change isn't easy and it isn't comfortable, but you want to be around for your kid and grandkids. The fact that my dad got diabetes at around my age, motivated me to make a change. I don't miss my old lifestyle at all.

psychological insight?

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