Dealing with a coworker who always offers food!

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Replies

  • BeeElMarvin
    BeeElMarvin Posts: 2,086 Member
    1283845348416.gif

    WHOA!
  • kacollins1970
    kacollins1970 Posts: 45 Member
    I appreciate all the comments! I will take some of them to heart. Just as recently as yesterday, I said in a very nice manner, "no thank you, if something looks or smells good, I'll ask you. I'm really struggling to lose weight right now and have my foods planned out so if you could not ask everyday it would be appreciated." She said sure, no problem, I totally understand....then 2 hours later asked me if I wanted a cupcake someone had brought in, then asked again this a.m. if I wanted some soup she brought in and some spinach pie! I consider her a friend, so I hate getting snappy, but unfortunately, I did this a.m. Flat out asked her to stop and repeated what I said yesterday. Said she totally understood, wouldn't happen again, but I'm taking the under. :smile: Thanks again everyone!
  • _danjo_
    _danjo_ Posts: 134 Member
    Accuse her of trying to fatten you up so that she can eat you later, like the witch in Hansel & Gretel.
  • NewMeAT33
    NewMeAT33 Posts: 33
    Talk to your co-worker to have someone else do it. Don't be nasty about it.

    I WAS that person. I was constantly bringing in donuts and cupcakes (I like to make them; not eat them.) and until a co-worker (a GUY) told me it was becoming really hard for him to stay on track with all the temptation, I stopped.

    Maybe suggest healthy options?
  • melsmith612
    melsmith612 Posts: 727 Member
    Some people just like to feed other people... I'm one of them, although I'm better at taking a hint than your coworker. If you tell her that you are trying really hard to log your foods and be health conscious (so you won't be nibbling between meals) and she still doesn't listen then you may just need to talk to your HR dept. about the problem. I know that sounds harsh but you have a right to work peacefully and free of harassment and food harassment is no better than sexual hararssment for some of us.
  • soulfulsally
    soulfulsally Posts: 326
    Food pushers suck. Try preaching to your co-work about how unhealthy her food is and how she's going to die an early death. Lay it on thick (think: evangelist religious tactics). Maybe she'll finally wise up.
  • cramernh
    cramernh Posts: 3,335 Member
    Take the food, and just throw it straight in the bin - they won't ask you again, especially if they are not listening to your constant saying "no".

    My thoughts exactly.

    You could do what I did...

    Hold out your trash bin.... when she asks why... tell her "despite my telling you several times no, no thank you, not today, you just dont listen. Its just going to go in the trash if you keep asking me and Im getting fed up with you constantly asking me and you ignoring me each time"....

    When they ask me why Im being rude.. I give it right back: "you are being more rude by not listening to me"
  • ningggsm
    ningggsm Posts: 202
    A simple, 'No thank you. Trying to watch what I eat and brought some fruits today. Did you want some?' She'll see that you're trying to snack healthy and most times won't bother with offering the junk stuff anymore. Yelling and giving her attitude isn't necessary. She's just trying to be polite.
  • KittieLea
    KittieLea Posts: 1,156 Member
    I like the sticky note idea. Maybe you could write something like "Please do not feed the animal" on it and show that to them when they try to offer food. HA HA:laugh:
  • PhilyPhresh
    PhilyPhresh Posts: 600 Member
    grab the food and THROW IT ON THE GROUND

    ^^THIS^^ :laugh:
  • MED2012COLORADO
    MED2012COLORADO Posts: 238
    Take the food, and just throw it straight in the bin - they won't ask you again, especially if they are not listening to your constant saying "no".

    My thoughts exactly.
    Yes! and after you throw it away dont forget to smile and say thank you. :bigsmile:
  • LovePBandJ
    LovePBandJ Posts: 288 Member
    Maybe instead of simply "no thank you," kindly say "all of your tempting treats sure make it hard for me to stay on my diet. I cannot wait to reach my goal one day and maybe try a bite, but for now, I will have to pass."

    This may be a polite way to let this coworker understand the stress he or she is causing.
  • LastMinuteMama
    LastMinuteMama Posts: 590 Member
    just say "no thank you." every day. short, sweet, and polite. and it takes nothing out of you to just say "no, thank you," but it takes a lot to get all worked up and direct so much anger at this person. try to remember that this person isn't asking to be cruel or mean; it is likely how he/she was raised, to share. your irritation stems from your own situation (if you weren't trying to watch your food intake, you probably wouldn't mind being offered food)...

    my stepdad drinks coffee only once in a blue moon, but my mom still offers it to him every morning. she isn't offering to be rude, she's offering because 1 time out of 100, he might say yes. and those other 99 times, he says, "no, thank you," and goes back to reading his paper.

    This, exactly.
  • MzStarrQueenB
    MzStarrQueenB Posts: 194 Member
    Bring in your own food and offer it to her :smile:












    If you set your mind to it, you can accomplish anything.....



    http://www.myfitnesspal.com/groups/home/8987-serious-diet-support-group
  • tabinmaine
    tabinmaine Posts: 965 Member
    Put a sign on your desk :

    I am not a dog, I don't reward myself with food !
  • Alpina483
    Alpina483 Posts: 246 Member
    Whoa, guys... NEED to get nasty? Throw food around? Really? While I totally understand the OP (used to face same temptations in the office), our problems with food are our problems, no need to take them out on other people who are just being nice in their way. Imagine someone who does not have a problem with food but just does not feel like this cake or whatever she's sharing - it's a simple "no thank you" and everyone's getting on with their day. All those emotions involved in daily situations like this are indicators of the food problem, - again, not the sharing person's problem.
  • ningggsm
    ningggsm Posts: 202
    just say "no thank you." every day. short, sweet, and polite. and it takes nothing out of you to just say "no, thank you," but it takes a lot to get all worked up and direct so much anger at this person. try to remember that this person isn't asking to be cruel or mean; it is likely how he/she was raised, to share. your irritation stems from your own situation (if you weren't trying to watch your food intake, you probably wouldn't mind being offered food)...

    my stepdad drinks coffee only once in a blue moon, but my mom still offers it to him every morning. she isn't offering to be rude, she's offering because 1 time out of 100, he might say yes. and those other 99 times, he says, "no, thank you," and goes back to reading his paper.

    This, exactly.

    Yes and yes!
  • strevs58
    strevs58 Posts: 4
    If want to be a bit more subtle then could tell her that you have been diagnosed as gluten and lactose intolerant......that should just about cover every eventuality...........)))
  • QueenCrisis
    QueenCrisis Posts: 33
    Take the food, and just throw it straight in the bin - they won't ask you again, especially if they are not listening to your constant saying "no".
    Mean?
    Yes.
    Effective?
    Yes.
  • Stenobun
    Stenobun Posts: 166 Member
    Look, those temptations are always going to exist. I agree with the people here that are saying you can't change the rest of the world, only yourself. Stick to your guns, each and every time, and not only will you have avoided the problematic food, you'll also develop a sense of pride from being strong enough to say no. Good for you for saying no so far!
  • DamnImASexyBitch
    DamnImASexyBitch Posts: 740 Member
    Continue saying no thanks. Everyday will test your will power. This is just one more test.
  • beckyboop712
    beckyboop712 Posts: 383 Member
    I was going to say something about this on my wall. My boss is ALWAYS bringing in pastries. It's nice on the days I'm running late and miss breakfast at home but most of the time it's absolute torture. Like this morning. He brought in a pastry wheel from Panera. Dammit! And I didn't bring an apple in this morning.

    As far as your co-worker, I would just continue to refuse. It may take several months but they'll eventually get it. I also like the idea of making a sign about not feeding the animal.
  • NettyIOM
    NettyIOM Posts: 44 Member
    Put a sign on your desk :

    I am not a dog, I don't reward myself with food !

    ^^ LOL, I like this. Might try it myself!
  • Stenobun
    Stenobun Posts: 166 Member
    Whoa, guys... NEED to get nasty? Throw food around? Really? While I totally understand the OP (used to face same temptations in the office), our problems with food are our problems, no need to take them out on other people who are just being nice in their way. Imagine someone who does not have a problem with food but just does not feel like this cake or whatever she's sharing - it's a simple "no thank you" and everyone's getting on with their day. All those emotions involved in daily situations like this are indicators of the food problem, - again, not the sharing person's problem.

    I agree completely. And also, don't unnecessarily piss off the people you have to work with. Then you just have to come to a hostile work environment every day.
  • Lauren8239
    Lauren8239 Posts: 1,039 Member
    I have a co-worker that does the same thing. To everyone. It's always sweet stuff.... and I can't stand sweet stuff. She would get angry when I said no thanks.....literally angry as if it was personal. I've repeatedly said I don't like sugary things, I do NOT have a sweet tooth, in fact sweet stuff makes me throw up......all to no avail. The only thing that stopped her from harassing me to eat her baked goods.........I said I couldn't have sugar. She just assumed I have diabetes (I don't, I just hate sweets and sugar) and her whole attitude changed....she said that because it was a medical condition it was ok if I said no. Go figure. In fact...she saw my fitbit on my pocket and assumed it was something to regulate diabetes, lmao!
    So, maybe you will have to let your co-worker assume you have a medical condition to get her to stop this. :smile:
  • reasnableblonde
    reasnableblonde Posts: 212 Member
    Whoa, guys... NEED to get nasty? Throw food around? Really? While I totally understand the OP (used to face same temptations in the office), our problems with food are our problems, no need to take them out on other people who are just being nice in their way. Imagine someone who does not have a problem with food but just does not feel like this cake or whatever she's sharing - it's a simple "no thank you" and everyone's getting on with their day. All those emotions involved in daily situations like this are indicators of the food problem, - again, not the sharing person's problem.

    Some responses are meant to be light-hearted humor. The "throw it on the ground" comments are a reference to a sketch from SNL.
  • AmberJo1984
    AmberJo1984 Posts: 1,067 Member
    It seems like you've already told her, and she just won't listen. There are always people like that. Just keep saying "no thanks" and keep going with your day.

    I have the same situation. It's not a co-worker with me, though. It's the whole company. They are constantly having bake sales, popcorn sales, hamburger sales, etc....... EVERYWHERE... EVERYDAY. The funny thing... I work at a hospital, and they are constantly preaching healthy eating. It's such a joke. I always say no, though. Or, I just don't go near the people having the sale.
  • AmberJo1984
    AmberJo1984 Posts: 1,067 Member
    Put a sign on your desk :

    I am not a dog, I don't reward myself with food !

    ^^ LOL, I like this. Might try it myself!

    I agree. so cute. I want a sign like that.
  • kit_katty
    kit_katty Posts: 992 Member
    At my office there's an empty desk that is used for food when it's someone's birthday, someone brings in a treat, that sort of thing. They send an email around saying that there is food there and then it's up to everyone to go or not to go grab some. Maybe you could try and implement something like that in your office? Maybe that would help...
  • Lesa_Sass
    Lesa_Sass Posts: 2,213 Member
    I was raised in a family that considered it incredibly rude to not offer some one something to eat. As a matter of fact, when someone comes to my parents house, they will be offered a cup of coffee and cake or pie. If they say no thank you, it will be brought to them and placed on the table beside them and if they choose to not eat it, then there is no offense taken.

    This is not about you but about her and something deep seeded with in her that she can not help. To take food and throw it away or down on the ground would be, in my opinion, more rude than yelling at her.

    Instead of just telling her no, maybe a talk about it would be more appropriate. Ask her why it is that she keeps offering you food and show her your food diary (preferably all filled out) and explain to her what you are doing and although you understand that maybe she can not help it, that you will not be offended if she does not ask you if you want to share something.


    It is amazing what simple communication and talking things out , and I mean talking about it for awhile, not in passing, will do for people and their relationship with each other.

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