Losing friends while losing weight.

I didn't have any friends in the first place, so no. I'm not experiencing it.

As for your friends: They're just jealous. One thing that I have learned in the past is that the people who are your true friends are the ones who stick around when things change. Like, if you're in hospital, they visit, or if you move, they keep in touch. Losing weight and making a lifestyle change is another example. The friends of your who are worth keeping around are the ones who will still visit you when you're fit and healthy, even if they choose not to do the same.

Your friends won't do anything about their weight until they are ready. I would not offer any advice at all unless they ask for it. And even if/when they do start asking advice, don't get frustrated when they don't do anything about it. It can take a long time before they are ready to DO, if ever. Most likely they feel bad about themselves because they see you are succeeding and they are not really trying.

If you think about it, its a lifestyle change, which means other things will change too. Sorry about your friends

Your friends say the need to lose weight, but they obviously don't want to work out. So....if they don't want to get exercise, why do you keep insisting that they exercise? If they don't want to get off the couch, let them stay on the couch. I don't think it sounds like you are being a very good friend, and agree that you should either try to find like-minded new friends or at least stop bugging your current friends about how they aren't living their lives the way you want them to.

I think the tactic you are trying here is less likely to motivate your friends to be active than it is to make both you and them unhappy without causing anyone to improve their fitness habits.

Your help is clearly not appreciated since you say they are avoiding you. If you aren't pushing them to do something they don't want to do, then why are your friendships fading?

I would suggest the next time they say they need to lose weight, respond "I'm sorry, but I'm getting a bit tired of always hearing you say that you need to lose weight...if you ever want to join me for a run or want to make a healthy dinner with me, you are more than welcome! Just let me know. Otherwise, can we talk about something else?" Then when they forget and bring it up again in the future, just say, "Oh, can we please change the subject? Did you hear about X?"

Getting a little deeper into the issue, I've stopped partying ect. So a lot of those "party" friends are out of the picture. Thats fine, I expect that. But because I watch my calories, I'm "obsessed" with my weight. "vein" as another friend (whom I cut from my life) said because I want abs and to look fit. Like I said, I don't bring up my journey with these friends unless they ask about it. I'm learning though, to keep my weight loss conversations to this forum. And yes, I will try to change the subject when asked about it.

Good luck. It's always sad when friendships end.

I fortunately have not had this happen to me but then again I have lost in a year and a half, 12 lbs. Now that isn't much but on my small 4'9" frame it is. I think your 'friends' are just jealous they want to lose the weight too but cannot find the motivation. But be careful of talking about your weight loss too much or "I shouldn't eat this or that" type comments. It could grate on your friends. My friends and family care enough to sometimes be concerned with my size. I am now under a nutritionist to help ease my loved ones minds.

Yes, it seems that when you stop doing anything that is harmful, all the friends who still do it take your change like a slap in the face. I noticed this when I quit smoking.

Yes, it seems that when you stop doing anything that is harmful, all the friends who still do it take your change like a slap in the face. I noticed this when I quit smoking.

Clapping for you on the sideline for quitting smoking! :flowerforyou:

I haven't lost any friends, but my social life has decreased, and that's my choice. Before I started to get healthy, it was eating out and partying every weekend. Now that I don't do that, I don't go out as often. But my friends have encouraged me the whole time, and I think that;s cool. I even motivated a good friend to lose weight too, and she's lost 50 lbs so far!!

I have no friends so I don't have to worry about. I have acquaintances, that is all. I am that way intentionally because I don't want everyone in my personal business and I like my house to myself and my family. Now the kids are getting older... I constantly have a house full of kids. That is more than enough for me. :P

i lost most of my friends also who are not interested in being helthy like i am, however i have gained new ones that help me on my journey. It may not be a bad thing to move on and let those "friends" go. in the end, the real ones will step forward and join you :-)

I'm sorry that is happening. It is hard seeing your friend change so much when you don't feel like you can make that commitment. The person working so hard seems "crazy" and losing all their friend time to the gym. But once they are ready (when I was, it was like this) they will come around. Just be supportive and positive and they will come around! Or invite them to the gym with you or go on walking "dates" to get out and have time together. Everyone wants to feel better, I think.

i started losing contact with people because I didn't want to yield my exercise time to other things. I've learned how to balance a little better but I am still not great. As a result of the "balance" I am not losing as fast and that frustrates me. Do you keep your health, or a healthy social life? I hate that there is always the compromise. Why can't we have both and everyone be ok with it?! It gets awfully lonely getting fit. If we lose them, though, maybe we were meant to find new ones that suit us better and don't allow us to crutch on our unhealthy weaknesses? It hurts to think it, though.

Good luck with your friends. I wish you all the best!!!

Most likely they feel bad about themselves because they see you are succeeding and they are not really trying.

I think it is more this rather than jealously. People get angry with themselves because they don't/won't try and instead of using their anger to motivate them, they turn it on the person who is succeeding.

I have a similar situation. A very good friend (who I also work with) and I both needed to lose weight and we talked and talked about it until finally I said, "I am doing this.... I am joining MFP and would love for you to join me and let's do this together." He didn't want to do MFP (too much work), he wanted to make it a contest (because he is super competitive) where we would have to post embarrassing photos on Facebook of ourselves in our underwear if we lost. I told him I was not going to do that.... that might work for him, but not me and I didn't see becoming fit as a contest but as a life change.

I started without him, and have lost 30 lbs., and he has yet to start, and it's been 7 months. He constantly cooks and bakes and brings in fattening goodies to work--which I refuse--and I can tell it makes him mad, and now he doesn't even ask me anymore if I want anything. There is much more to tell, but that is the gist. It makes me sad, but I can only be accountable for my own success or failure, not someone else's.

As far as advice, I never talk about what I am doing, and if someone asks, I just say "I exercise more and eat less." I find if people know you are trying to lose weight/become fit, it's like opening a big box of negativity, as you have experienced. I only share my successes with my MFP friends, my mom and my hubs, who are my biggest (and only) supporters.

Yea it is non sense to give advices to people who are not really interested. I usually dont tell people that I work out regularly or I try to be healthy and fit so I avoid junk food. I just keep my mouth shut. I dont want to be the topic whenever I am with them because girly conversations about weight loss never end. Beauty is different for everyone. I just dont want to hear silly comments about my weight. Some people think I am skinny, others think I am fit, others think I have an eating disorder because I am obsessed with eating healthy. I dont want to hear what others think. I dont have many friends either because my health is my priority. I just cant waste my limited time for girly chats, I have so much to do for myself and I need my workouts done. If i still have time after my daily stuff and workout done, I'll hang out with them. But they are at the end of my to do list. As others say balance is the best but personally i cant find it.

It's a choice of yours. Decide if you want to keep them or get rid of them. If you really like hanging out with your friends, you can still hang out with them. You dont need to talk about fitness and your diet all the time. I am sure you have many more things to talk about as you used to do. You can still party with them without drinking alcohol. Partying doesnt only mean getting drunk. If you dont feel comfortable with them any more, you'll move on and find new friends who share the same interests with you. Maybe it's time for a change and change is good.