How do you adjust expectations to realistic ones?

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  • KeriW626
    KeriW626 Posts: 430
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    I agree with many others. This is not a DIET. It is a life style change. Ive lost 49lb and am on a stand still. 3 weeks now. However, I know I will break throuh it and will loose the rest of my weight, and be healthy. The way I stay with realistic expectations, is admit, this is a life style change not a diet. I dont think this will help you, but it helps me... Just reminding myself that Its not a temp. thing. To be honest I would be worried if I lost 10 lbs a week. (wow wouldnt that be great to make my goal in only 10 weeks) I took much loner than that to gain it
  • fldiver97
    fldiver97 Posts: 341 Member
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    Stop obsessing about losing weight and start obsessing about being healthy. Eat clean, drink clean, and live clean with plenty of exercise. The weight is just a very nice side effect of healthy living.

    See above quote.....Initially weight will 'fall off' quickly in folks that have a lot to lose. Don't obsess with the number on the scale. Try to log EVERYTHING and it will help you slowly but surely to learn to a) control portions b) make better food choices and remind you to drink water. Try to make changes to your food choices....if fast food, take out and processed food are your personal food choices try to swap items out for more and more home-made, fresh and less processed choices. Cut down on soda and juices if that is a problem area. Set your macros to get enough protein to make you feel satiated. Don't weigh yourself daily. Once a week or once every other week should be enough. Take starting pic for comparison later, it seems to motivate folks that don't seem to see changes when they look in the mirror.......And take (and track) measurements.....you may notice loss in inches and looser fitting clothes at times more that changes on the scale. And above all remember......it took a long time to gain all this extra weight, it will take time and effort to get it off. But once you make some changes to your lifestyle (hopefully permament) you will see results. And don't quit....good days, bad days....log and learn :smile:
  • BlackKat75
    BlackKat75 Posts: 210 Member
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    Take your measurements now, so that you've got another metric (other than the scale) to show your progress. Another thing to do is to go through your closet and find some clothes that are presently too tight and check them in a month and see if you can fit into them. Again, you can change your shape without losing weight, but if you just focus on the number on the scale, you can get disappointed.

    I weigh every day (people have varying opinions on whether that's the way to go or not), but for me it works. However, having been doing this for 8 months, I know that there can be wild fluctuations from day to day and to not get discouraged. For whatever reason, I find my weight basically stays flat for 5-6 days, then a pound falls off, then start all over again. Do whatever is going to motivate you without getting you obsessed. Good luck!!!
  • fishfoodfight
    fishfoodfight Posts: 15 Member
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    http://www.losertown.org/eats/cal.php
    I am very impatient, feeling frustrated that I am doing so well staying on track but I'll have to wait a while before I'm at my goal. The site I pasted above can be a huge help to keep my goals realistic. You enter your stats, how many calories you plan to eat, and how much you plan to exercise, and it will tell you what you can expect to weigh each week. It can help you keep a realistic outlook.
  • ljpjones
    ljpjones Posts: 49 Member
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    I really try to be happy with any loss, I did not gain this overnight and I will be happy as long as the scale is heading in the correct direction (down). LOL I do know how hard it is to stay with it , but this group has helped me so much because there are other going thru the same thing and it helps me to know that . I can turn to them for help when ever I am having a day gone bad. Just do not let your self get to cought up with the scale and look for other things such as baggie clothes to help you get thru a bad scale day . it really does work :-)
  • dsjohndrow
    dsjohndrow Posts: 1,820 Member
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    You just do the program. You log your calories and walk or swim or whatever and get 30 minutes of cardio 3 times a week. Add to that some strength training and keep at it. 5-10 a week is unrealistic. NI the beginning most folks have some solid success, but the body always wants to hang onto something, so you shake it up!
  • devil_in_a_blue_dress
    devil_in_a_blue_dress Posts: 5,214 Member
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    Step One: Only weigh yourself 2 times a month.
    Step Two: Measure yourself once a month on a week you that you do not weigh
    Step Three: Take a picture of yourself the week you do not weigh or measure.
    Step Four: Small health-focused monthly challenges, not directly related to weight loss (walking so many steps a day, drinking so many cups a water per day) with a small non-food reward (nail polish and new undies are my favorite)
    Step Five: Set small 5-10% weight loss goals
    Step Six: Never give up and expect set backs
  • yo_andi
    yo_andi Posts: 2,178 Member
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    I have over a 100 lbs to lose. This is going to take a long time.
  • k011185
    k011185 Posts: 320 Member
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    I agree with setting small goals, that has helped me.
    Also, whenever I start to think 'why bother', I check out the success posts on here, they are amazing! It also gives me a kick in the butt, because I think, "If I had stuck with the program when I first started, I would be at my goal already!"

    I also agree with taking measurements, mine have been changing like crazy, even though my weight moves very slowly.
  • bioniccheese
    bioniccheese Posts: 43
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    Of course the sensible thing is to weigh yourself once a week, and not expect too much, but I always aim for the stars too. I find myself setting a lb a day target, although I don't really beat myself up if I can't. I think that is key really if you aim high. Aslong as you are eating healthy and doing any activity you can, you are winning.
  • Gimpdogg
    Gimpdogg Posts: 163 Member
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    It been 6.5 months and i've lost 93 pounds. There is no realistic or unrealistic goal. The harder you work the better the result just don't burn yourself out and quit. If you are really looking for a life change that don't worry so much how long it takes. Just enjoy every pound lost and stay positive you can do it!
  • Wonkermann
    Wonkermann Posts: 14
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    I am just starting and have a LOT to lose. I have start out with a really good weight loss the first week. I know this is normally and I will and should drop to a more of a pound a week. But knowing this, I still want to lose 5 -10 lbs a week and can already feel disappointed to see no change or a small change in the morning. I want to shift to a healthy longterm lifestyle not a quick overnight diet that I can not live with forever. BUT I can't seem to get my mind around this and was discouraged this monring. How do you convince yourself to not get caught up in the hipe. I have over a 100 lbs to lose. This is going to take a long time.

    what are you going to do when you've lost the weight? are you going to start eating the way you did before? because if the answer to that is yes, then you'll just gain the weight back and i'd say there's very little point in you losing the 100lbs in the first place.

    it is hard, and dieting requires a huge amount of patience. really you're making a change to your eating & lifestyle that has to be sustainable so that you dont just go back to unhealthy foods again. i guess it will take you 7-12 months, judging by some people i've seen on here, but that's probably not long considering how long you probably over ate for!

    in my case, i over ate for 28 years but it's taken about 5 months to put it right. that seems like a pretty good deal to me!
  • deadpool10
    deadpool10 Posts: 7 Member
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    sounds like you answered your own question
    5-10lbs per week is highly unrealistic

    ^ this
  • Tammyinbali
    Tammyinbali Posts: 56 Member
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    When I get hung up on the number on the scale I try to remind myself that I also didn't gain any weight. My first week I lost 10 lbs...the next week I lost 4...the following week I only lost 1 & was totally bummed, but then I remembered that I had gained 25 lbs in the 2 months leading up to starting MFP...so I figure I lost the 1 lb showing on my scale & then I add the 3 lbs that I didn't gain that week (which was about what I was gaining before I changed my eating habits...was doing some heavy duty binge eating) and I end up = 4 lbs lost. Know it's a bit of a mind trick but it helps when I'm obsessing over the numbers ;)

    Other than that you just have to keep reminding yourself that you're making these changes to better your life & not just to loose weight, The weight loss is just an added bonus. Just keep putting one foot in front of the other & you'll make it :)
  • tvanhooser
    tvanhooser Posts: 326 Member
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    Well, when I got serious about losing weight (114 lbs) and started actively trying back in May rather than generally abstaining from grazing, avoiding snacking, etc. and casually hoping that something miraculous would happen, I was thinking 3 lbs. a week would meet my goal by Christmas according to my calculations. It was working for a few weeks and then dropped off and I was bummed that I wasn't "on schedule" till one day it hit me--hey as of the scales this morning I have lost 23 lbs since May, the same amount I lost in 18 months or so before that without half trying -- which means I doubled my weight loss in a fraction of the time just by actually planning out what I eat and making myself exercise whether I want to or not. I could look at it as a failure for not meeting my timeline or I could get really excited that I had doubled my weight loss and celebrate THAT accomplishment, and other small landmarks along the way that mean something to me. I've passed halfway now, closing in on the last of the baby weight with 50 lbs. to go after that.....I just had to pay attention to realistically what my body was going to tolerate and do and discipline myself to be satisfied with THAT progress not what I wish it would be because even when it's not as fast as I wish it would be, I am progressing. So I have to be happy with that and not beat myself up over what I can't control.
  • kr3851
    kr3851 Posts: 994 Member
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    A loss of 5-10lbs per week IS realistic IF you restrict your diet heavily and exercise for hours each day. This is proven in the Biggest Loser. THIS IS NOT THE REAL WORLD.

    When we start off with such a lot to lose, we expect that we'll be able to lose like the "losers", and then we can't and we get discouraged. DON'T GET DISCOURAGED. A loss of 1-2lbs per week is awesome. Hell, to me right now, ANY loss is awesome. Stick with it, and stop watching TBL!!
  • fittiephd
    fittiephd Posts: 608 Member
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    you won't lose 5-10 lbs a week even if you want to.

    My advice, don't eat a very low calorie diet. As in definitely not less than 1400-1500 net calories per day, and that includes eating back exercise calories.

    Make a point to get up and go for a walk every day. Eventually start intervals of jogging or go on the elliptical etc. Or just walk!

    Remember that if you have a bad meal, it's OKAY!!! Just have a better next meal, or a better next day. Don't ever let yourself have 3 bad days because that's a habit.

    Get rid of the bad food, dont' go out to dinner too much. Focus on the excitement of trying new recipes. PLAN PLAN PLAN your meals for the week and prepare them in advance if you're short on time.

    And just keep going. Don't let yourself stop.
    Sometimes it helps not to weigh in weekly but bi weekly or monthly to help yourself focus on EATING and MOVING not on WEIGHT. The weight will come off if you're eating and moving right. Just don't stress yourself out and over think it. It may take you a year or more to lose the weight. Realize that this is acceptable and ok.

    Also take monthly photos and measurements because sometimes the scale doesn't move for weeks but huge changes are happening!!!!

    Also if you have a lot of free time then get a hobby that can take up spare time so you don't have too much time to over think your weight changes and eating.

    And lastly, stick to it for at least 3 months. I found after 3 months I didn't think twice about eating badly or exercising, it started to feel like more of a habit. Just give it three months of your life. By next year you'll be glad you did!!!!

    If you want it badly enough you'll just do it, no questions asked. good luck!!!
  • VelociMama
    VelociMama Posts: 3,119 Member
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    My weight loss happened at about 1/2 lb per week loss. I took my sweet old time, and I took that time to try to relearn how to eat and be fit. It's paid off bigtime.

    For me, setting daily fitness and nutrition goals that could be achieved in a short time span were critical to keeping me going. It started out as, "Today, my goal is to walk 15-30 minutes." Eventually it got to be bigger daily or weekly goals.

    The cool part about losing slowly is that it makes it much harder to gain it back, because the way I was thinking and living changed entirely to something else. You give yourself time to relearn how to eat and how to move. That's the key to maintaining it for life that a lot of people totally miss when they lose it too fast. I've also managed to use the skills I learned while losing weight to manage my pregnancy weight gain. I'm gaining at a very healthy rate and control that gain very effectively, which is a big accomplishment for someone who used to binge eat almost daily.

    Set some non-scale goals for yourself (non-size related also). Work toward hitting those.
  • Pebble321
    Pebble321 Posts: 6,554 Member
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    Try setting goals that aren't centered on the scale. All the scale knows is the effect of gravity on your body. It has no clue what the composition of that mass is. It could be muscle, water, fat, it any variation of combinations. Put the scale away and only measure at prescribed intervals... weekly, every other week. Any more than that and you can drive yourself nuts.

    Goals you can measure that show you are getting fit don't have to have your weight attached to them. Allow yourself to make them into statements:

    I logged 8 glasses of water every day for X number of days!
    I stayed within my calorie goal for X number of days!
    Last week I walked one mile and it took me 20 minutes, this week I did it in 19!
    I pushed X poundsof weight around in the gym today! (My personal favorite!)
    I walked/ran X laps around the block without stopping!
    I rode a 5K on my bike!
    I played tag with my kids today!
    I had a great time doing X!

    Look at the accomplishments, not the losses, and let that scale know it isn't boss, it's just another form of measurement, and by far, the least important!

    This!
    Set goals that aren't dependent on the scale. And make them "action" goals - things that you CAN do (like the ones above: ride a bike, walk a mile, eat a healthy breakfast) not "deprivation" goals - things you CAN'T do (no chocolate, no soft drinks, no eating after x o'clock, no white foods).
    If you just pick one of those positive goals each week and stick to it, you will see a difference in your health and your weight. Yes, it will take time -but losing weight is going to take time any way to do it.

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