Self sabotage

spells1977 · October 2012

Hiya everyone

I feel a little silly posting this and being so open but I guess i just need to vent and get it all off my chest.

Over the last year I have done really well and lost quite a lot of weight. I have really embraced the whole healthy eating and fitness way of life. I had never felt so good, inside and out. I could wear nice skinny clothes for once, I had muscle definition, and even my hair and skin looked great! For the first time in my life I had a bit of confidence and actually looked forward to getting up in the morning focusing on any challenges that came my way. Challenges that I once would have balked at.

I had also really cut down on drinking beer to only once every 3 weeks instead of 2-3 times a week and I also gave up smoking 8 months ago (about 40 *kitten* a day :noway: )

However the last 6 weeks or so I feel like i'm slipping back into my old ways. I've started eating takeaways that I actually don't enjoy eating and I've been drinking more. I hate the hangovers I get and the consequent hangover munchies. I've been snacking on rubbish and I even sometimes binge late at night. It's like i'm uncontrollable.

I feel ashamed to admit i've put on about 8Ibs since this started happening even though i'm still going to the gym. I'm so so devestated and I'm so scared I'll put back on all he weight I have lost. I have obviously learnt NOTHING!! I feel a complete failure.

I can see where I'm going wrong but I seem powerless to stop the lack of control and lack of willpower. Sometimes I make excuses for myself and figure that I have this new body and confidence that it's okay to actually want to go out and socialise but unfortunately that comes with drinking alcohol and meals out. I don't want to be the wallflower anymore but I also don't want to keep going out and making weak, unhealthy choices.

Has anyone else experienced this kind of self sabotage? I would really appreciate any comments that would help me get back on track

Thankyou for listening x

kenazfehu · October 2012

That's tough. At least you realize that it's "self" sabotage. If you can do that to yourself, you can do the opposite. But you have to want it.

Surely there are non-drinking outings that you could start participating in. I hate going to bars and like being at home by myself (and 12 pets), so unfortunately I have no good suggestions for that part of the problem.

BattyMac87 · October 2012

I think you need to ask yourself why you’re slipping, as you say you don’t necessarily enjoy the bad foods. So what is at the very core of the motivation to make you go for them? You’re happy with your new lifestyle, is it a case that you feel you don’t deserve the success?

You have done so well so far, that’s not to be sniffed at. Also the fact that you are aware of the unhealthy choices of late, and are trying to get back on track will be the very reason you are going to be fine. This is a just a hiccup on the road; you just need to figure out what caused it.

ludeo · October 2012

think that sometimes after if you have been doing great and you give yourself a bit of freedom you can over do it, the main thing is you know what your doing wrong so your can change your habits back. im trying to do the same thing at the moment. i go really well for a few weeks and then reward my self and go off the rails for a week or so. need to try to stop that but its hard. good luck and add me if you like

xaniza · October 2012

This is happening to me too, lately. I'm ashamed to admit that my logging of food hasn't been as good as I used to be, my exercise isn't as much as it used to be, I've started eating my husband's food instead of sticking to my "diet" chicken & veggies. I stopped getting up early to work out. I came so close to my goal! I'm going to try to give myself another kick in the *kitten* and hopefully it'll work this time.

Add me if you'd like.

ewestsca · October 2012

I've been feeling the same way the last two weeks. I've been feeling so sad and down in the dumps. I don't want to be overweight any more but I keep snacking. I brought bad food into my house because i thought I could handle it. I couldn't so I told my husband last night that any bad food that's in the house he better eat, cause it's not going to be there this weekend.

Coming to the realization that your hurting yourself is the first step. Knowing your limits and over coming them is the second.

I wish you luck.

spells1977 · October 2012

Sorry for the late response. I really appreciate everyone who has taken to the time to reply with some great advice.

I've been trying to stop feeling sorry for myself and slowly but surely my healthy ways are coming back to me. I have come to the realisation that I thought I could reward myself, which obviously I can, but I took it way too far.

Over the last week or so I've realised that it has to be the healthy way or no way. And this has to be my life from now on. That's cool - I have made peace with that

I guess I had to have a big blip to figure that out.

Thanks guys :flowerforyou:

MyOwnSunshine · October 2012

I have come to the realisation that I thought I could reward myself, which obviously I can, but I took it way too far.

Over the last week or so I've realised that it has to be the healthy way or no way. And this has to be my life from now on. That's cool - I have made peace with that I guess I had to have a big blip to figure that out.

Thanks guys :flowerforyou:

I struggle with this "reward myself" mindset, but I think that being mindful of how those "rewards" affect you is the key here. What I have noticed is that when I "reward" myself with a day of high-carb, low protein eating with lot's of napping and no exercise, I feel absolutely horrible. I have finally realized that eating healthy foods and working out is more of a "reward" than lapsing into my old ways. Do I still reward myself with a sweet treat, a special meal, an easier workout or a nap on the weekends? Sure. But it's not a black/white thing.

Next time you're hung over and you get on scale and see a gain instead of a loss, think about whether you really "rewarded" yourself.

Instead of looking at it as "the healthy way is the only way," think about moderation. Have one or two drinks after you've worked out to earn the calories. Have a treat meal or sweet treat, but schedule a fun workout to balance it out. Instead of suffering for an hour at the gym as your only workout choice, take a yoga class or go for a hike to burn some calories. Variety and moderation are they keys to sustaining this way of life permanently.

Isatryli · October 2012

This is happening to me too, lately. I'm ashamed to admit that my logging of food hasn't been as good as I used to be, my exercise isn't as much as it used to be, I've started eating my husband's food instead of sticking to my "diet" chicken & veggies. I stopped getting up early to work out. I came so close to my goal! I'm going to try to give myself another kick in the *kitten* and hopefully it'll work this time.

Add me if you'd like.

Awesome job!!! It's never late to be back on the right track. I've been in this situation too. And each time I was waiting to gain all the weight back to start again a new weight loss journey!!!!
But this time is different because even if I'm sometimes back to my bad habits, I'm sussessfully back on the right track after few days because I feel bad not in my head but my body can't handle too much junk food anymore!

Keep the good work and says to yourself that you're doing a great job and that you'll do as much as you can to be in good shape and good health every day.

You can do it!

Isa

fitsin10 · October 2012

I'm trying to get back too, I'm also having a hard time of it. I've lost over 80 lbs. already and now I'm losing control. Still trying to figure it out and my brain always tells me the opposite. Sorry I can't help here, I'm still struggling with myself and it bites!!!!

Tonie814 · October 2012

I totally agree that it's self-sabotage because I believe that over-eating is a psychological problem. I've been doing it for lots and lots of years, even had a gastric bypass, and am still fighting the fight. You have to ask yourself what incident occurred right around when you began to slide. When I had my bypass I was 363 pounds and I got down to 191. I have to admit feeling guilty about the loss because whenever I told anyone I had the bypass, they'd say "oh, no wonder" as though losing the weight was easy as pie. It wasn't. I worked long and hard and got down to the 191. Then I went in to see the plastic surgeon about removing the excess flesh at the apron but he could not do it because I was 10 pounds over what the insurance company determined was acceptable for the surgery. I had lost a whole person and it was not enough. So, I started sliding and am now 250 again. I know it's nuts, I know it has to change, yet I'm still in the dark hole. Don't know about any of you, but I believe that when we begin to succeed we don't know how the heck to handle it. I've been programmed to think I can't do things or finish things, so I don't. That's why I've joined a new weight loss class and why I'm on MFP - hoping this will help, because I'm on the last shot here - not a spring chicken any more. All we can do is our best - so hang in there.

angiechimpanzee · October 2012

Eight pounds isn't a big deal, first of all. At least you haven't gained 20.

Second of all, DO NOT I repeat DO NOT dwell on negative feelings. Negativity breeds more negativity. Don't think about how bad you messed up. Don't think about how much you've gained. Instead, FORCE yourself to think positive. You said it yourself, you loved how you felt when you were eating right and exercising. Remember that happiness, remember all the benefits, tell yourself you can have that again if you just start now. It's never too late.

clairegogogo · October 2012

You are definitely not a failure because I need to congratulate you first about your amazing weight loss journey! I had a few set backs too this couple month and I know, it sucks. All I can think about is tomorrow is another day and I can't give up. Also honest with logging everything helps me facing the problem, too.

kimothy38 · October 2012

I have to admit feeling guilty about the loss because whenever I told anyone I had the bypass, they'd say "oh, no wonder" as though losing the weight was easy as pie. It wasn't. I worked long and hard and got down to the 191. Then I went in to see the plastic surgeon about removing the excess flesh at the apron but he could not do it because I was 10 pounds over what the insurance company determined was acceptable for the surgery. I had lost a whole person and it was not enough. So, I started sliding and am now 250 again. I know it's nuts, I know it has to change, yet I'm still in the dark hole.

I know how you feel. I lost 40kg then went through an extremely stressful period with my husbands health and 2 young kids. I reverted to my usual way of coping - eating - and regained the entire 40kg. It took me 2 years to get out of the black hole and start the journey again. Never give up hope!

Self sabotage

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