Friend wants to cook dinner

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marinebiologist_girl
marinebiologist_girl Posts: 300
in Food and Nutrition
Hi there.

My flatmate is meant to be losing weight too, but she's started to turn it into a competition, praising how she's eaten nothing in a day and then encouraging me to eat more. She wants to cook on Sunday, which is fine and dandy, but she wants to have an anti-pasti and pasta with tomato and garlic and it just sounds like so. Damn. Much. When I am trying so hard to have healthy meals and I've said yes to having the meal with her so as not to insult her but... I don't want huge portions of lots of sauce and pasta and starters... And I think she knows that.

Advice?

Replies

  • manda1978
    manda1978 Posts: 525 Member
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    I'd just say that you've decided to cook all your own meals are you want to be in control of what you eat.
  • Kymmu
    Kymmu Posts: 1,650 Member
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    Be honest and tell her what you are aiming for and how you plan to achieve it.
    Otherwise very small portions after a very careful eating day!
  • MSam1205
    MSam1205 Posts: 439 Member
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    Fill up on the good things in the antipasta, you can have the "good" stuff from there like lettuce and veggies. Then measure out your portion of the pasta and sauce. You can eat it, just in the right proportions and let her deal with the leftovers!!
  • dad106
    dad106 Posts: 4,868 Member
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    Depending on how she serves it, you can decide how to much to have/not to have.

    So take a look at the starters, choose a few you want, eat those. Then when the pasta comes, take a portion with sauce and eat that.. and then if you want more, have a bit more.

    Eating when someone else cooks doesn't have to be all or nothing.. it's about choices.
  • marinebiologist_girl
    marinebiologist_girl Posts: 300
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    Thanks for the advice, I'll do that.

    Though, I've also discovered she's bought a cake for it, which is like... 500 calories a slice. How do I politely bow out of that?
  • SideSteel
    SideSteel Posts: 11,068 Member
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    Thanks for the advice, I'll do that.

    Though, I've also discovered she's bought a cake for it, which is like... 500 calories a slice. How do I politely bow out of that?

    I've got a good solution for that. Try saying this:

    "No thank you"
  • pkw58
    pkw58 Posts: 2,038 Member
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    Thanks for the advice, I'll do that.

    Though, I've also discovered she's bought a cake for it, which is like... 500 calories a slice. How do I politely bow out of that?

    I've got a good solution for that. Try saying this:

    "No thank you"

    This!
  • RedHeadHotMama
    RedHeadHotMama Posts: 50 Member
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    Plus it sounds as though she may be a little jelious to me. You have lost 20kg. She has to know how good you are doing. Feeding you heavy pasta and 500 calorie cake? Sounds like she is putting herself in starvation mode also. Then making up for it by binging on food like this. Have half a slice of cake if you want but offset it by going for a walk. Don't eat an entire slice. Good Luck!!!
  • UsedToBeHusky
    UsedToBeHusky Posts: 15,229 Member
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    Is anti-pasta and pasta like anti-matter and matter?

    Maybe you will get lucky and they will come into contact with each other and blow your friend up.



    *on a serious note

    OP, it seems to me that you need to learn to better manage your relationship with food. If you plan ahead, there is no reason why you can't enjoy calorific social meals like this one. Unless, of course, you are one of the many sheep that think you must eat as little as possible to lose weight. Either way, I think you are stressing this way too much. And if your friend is trying to sabotage you, then the best thing you can do is go in to this meal with cool confidence and demonstrate that you have the self-control to eat as much or as little as you want.
  • AllTehBeers
    AllTehBeers Posts: 5,030 Member
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    If you practice a bit of portion control and enjoy your meal, you can show your room mate that you can eat good food and still drop the weight. Eat it, log it , exercise, and when you are losing weight while still enjoying life, your room mate will be starving and probably fall off the wagon because she is always hungry. Your weight loss may be a bit slower, but you will stick with it way longer.
  • newmooon56
    newmooon56 Posts: 347 Member
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    Thanks for the advice, I'll do that.

    Though, I've also discovered she's bought a cake for it, which is like... 500 calories a slice. How do I politely bow out of that?

    accept a slice- take a bite or 2 and push, squish and mangle the rest- eventually get up and dump it. You got full - no one is forced to eat anything- especially once full.

    Also- get firm with her- ppl that make weight loss a pissing contest have issues- and you dont need her issues on your back while your own situation is hard enough on you.
  • Rudeboy614
    Rudeboy614 Posts: 11 Member
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    Everyone should have a "cheat Day." Consider the dinner with your friend a cheat day. Don't go overboard with it. Prepare your body for it. Make sure you do extra cardio the rest of the week. Get up the day of the dinner and do more cardio. Track your calories as well as your cardio. Remember, the goal is to burn more than you consume, even if sometimes you take a weekly snapshot, just as if you would take a daily snapshot.
  • WendyTerry420
    WendyTerry420 Posts: 13,274 Member
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    Is anti-pasta and pasta like anti-matter and matter?

    Maybe you will get lucky and they will come into contact with each other and blow your friend up.



    *on a serious note

    OP, it seems to me that you need to learn to better manage your relationship with food. If you plan ahead, there is no reason why you can't enjoy calorific social meals like this one. Unless, of course, you are one of the many sheep that think you must eat as little as possible to lose weight. Either way, I think you are stressing this way too much. And if your friend is trying to sabotage you, then the best thing you can do is go in to this meal with cool confidence and demonstrate that you have the self-control to eat as much or as little as you want.

    ^^ This

    I'm sitting here thinking how much healthier that is than what i eat sometimes, yet I'm still burning the fat! Eat a measuring cup full of the pasta and fill up on the rest. Brag to your friend about how careful you are about measuring your food before eating! then brag about how you *can* eat some pasta and still burn fat! :bigsmile: :drinker:
  • marinebiologist_girl
    marinebiologist_girl Posts: 300
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    Yeah I... worry a lot. Sorry if I seem really pathetic and stuff and like I'm getting at my flatmate, guys....

    Again, thanks for the advice. I'll just make sure she doesn't give me a huge portion and maybe duck out of the cake. I have graze boxes so maybe I'll say I'll just have one of those instead or something? Thanks. It's taken me a good few weeks to start eating more in my diet and I know it's working with 5 days of exercise and at least one big meal a day, but I still... worry, y'know? I mean, Sunday is the day I do have designated as 'day off', in a way...

    eta: Incidentally, saying no thank you is easier said than done. I've given up telling her that eating nothing all day then going drinking is bad because she refuses to listen to me, but whenever I say - thinking out loud - something like 'having a smaller portion for dinner' she starts to cluck and roll her eyes and call me anorexic.

    Anyway, sorry. I tend to ramble when something is on my mind. Feel free to ignore me or also roll you eyes. :P

    And I love the anti-pasta/pasta idea, lol!
  • cramernh
    cramernh Posts: 3,335 Member
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    Thanks for the advice, I'll do that.

    Though, I've also discovered she's bought a cake for it, which is like... 500 calories a slice. How do I politely bow out of that?

    "Sorry, but I have no room for dessert".... keep it simple... if she argues, ask her how she would feel to see you get sick all over the place because you stuffed yourself with too much food...
  • msbunnie68
    msbunnie68 Posts: 1,894 Member
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    Will she plate the food up or is served in dishes on the table.?

    If the food is served in the middle of the table then there is no problem. You serve yourself your own sized portions. Don't draw attention to the portion size, say nothing. Chat happily as you do this as a distraction. YOU are in control of your own food. Have one serving of each and don't go back for second helpings. Cut your own piece of cake. If your friend serves you the cake then you carefully eat as much as you think you should to fit in with your new eating plan, then put the fork down.

    You are in control of you. If your friend does plate the food then you look at it like a clock. Think to what o'clock is a good portion for you and eat to that o'clock then put the fork down. Tell your friend you don't want to fill up on one course especially when there is cake for afters. Again, it is like eating at a restaurant - you should not feel any obligation to eat the entire plate of food, just what you think is the right amount for you BUT if you do feel like you have over eaten, then log it and move on. It is over, done and the next day is another fresh day.
  • UsedToBeHusky
    UsedToBeHusky Posts: 15,229 Member
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    Yeah I... worry a lot. Sorry if I seem really pathetic and stuff and like I'm getting at my flatmate, guys....

    Again, thanks for the advice. I'll just make sure she doesn't give me a huge portion and maybe duck out of the cake. I have graze boxes so maybe I'll say I'll just have one of those instead or something? Thanks. It's taken me a good few weeks to start eating more in my diet and I know it's working with 5 days of exercise and at least one big meal a day, but I still... worry, y'know? I mean, Sunday is the day I do have designated as 'day off', in a way...

    eta: Incidentally, saying no thank you is easier said than done. I've given up telling her that eating nothing all day then going drinking is bad because she refuses to listen to me, but whenever I say - thinking out loud - something like 'having a smaller portion for dinner' she starts to cluck and roll her eyes and call me anorexic.

    Anyway, sorry. I tend to ramble when something is on my mind. Feel free to ignore me or also roll you eyes. :P

    And I love the anti-pasta/pasta idea, lol!

    It's not pathetic. You are still learning. You have to develop enough confidence in yourself to manage your diet without falling victim to super-restriction. Sunday is your 'off-day'. Eat a light breakfast and lunch. Have a moderate serving at dinner. And just have a small slice of cake for dessert or just eat half and then tell your friend that you are too full to eat the rest. I have learned not to discuss my eating habits with people so talk about anything other than your diet while you are eating and she will completely be satisfied that you are not anorexic.
  • UsedToBeHusky
    UsedToBeHusky Posts: 15,229 Member
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    Oh and... if you should happen to go over, don't beat yourself up. One meal means nothing in the grander scheme of things. It's the frequent habit of over-indulgence that caused you to gain. It will take time to get all the weight off and you have many more opportunities in the future to get your diet right.

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