Joining the gym.. how can I overcome my embarrassment??

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Replies

  • ursulagoddess
    ursulagoddess Posts: 12 Member
    Only you can overcome your embarrassment, but have faith in yourself that you are taking positive steps to a healthier lifestyle. I've never worried much about what people think of me anyway, I have other things to do with my mental energy. Don't worry about what 'they' think, just find your own groove to happiness. I joined my local YMCA and started with walking on the treadmill. I don't have fancy workout clothes and I'm over 300 pounds. I'm sure I look like a big old meatball with arms and legs, but I'm there trying to be healthy and that's really the whole point.

    Here's cute comic that might help (not safe for work) http://theoatmeal.com/comics/gym
  • dittmarml
    dittmarml Posts: 351 Member
    Have been there but this is about you...people may look but I second several others on the list - when I see folks like I used to be I admire the tenacity and guts it takes to do something about it. Hold your head up and focus on your body and how it feels to be working on it...you'll get through it. Go a couple of times and you won't even be thinking about this any longer.
  • cpaman87
    cpaman87 Posts: 193 Member
    I am one of the slim people working beside you. When I see you walk into the gym, I admire you for what you are doing. Just get out there and do it and stop worrying about others.
  • rwhawkes
    rwhawkes Posts: 117 Member
    Judging by the numbers in your ticker, you're not *that* huge at all - Currently I'm around 307 and just under 6 feet, and I'm there several times a week.

    I doubt if anyone is even going to notice you. And even if they do, and even if they make snide comments (which they won't) tell yourself that what strangers says means zero to you. You're there for you, and in six months you'll be real close to your goal weight, you'll be way healthier than today, and you'll be more of a hottie than you ever imagined.
  • I started out as a 280lb woman. I will tell you I had fear too. I just told myself to suck it up and walk in there head held high. I have met many nice people at the gym who offer encouragement and have absolutely no problem answering any stupid question I have. I am sure I have been judged by a few however most people have told me that I modivate them. Deep down im still embarrassed however it is no longer embarrassment about being at the gym its only embarrassment about letting myself get to the point Im at. So before you become my size just remember that your health is number one.
  • I was embarrassed at first, so when I went to work out I wore a trench coat and those disguise glasses with a fake nose and mustache...

    Just kidding

    You know what, don't worry about it. As long as you are following the rules, cleaning your machines, not lingering on any machines, and making a good effort, you have nothing to worry about. The people that should be embarrassed are the wanna be bodybuilders that spend half their time looking at themselves in the mirror while building three times the muscle that they will ever need, carrying around their duffel bags with them wherever they go. What are in those duffel bags anyway?
  • skrakalaka
    skrakalaka Posts: 338 Member
    What helped me when I was overweight starting out was having friends to go to the gym with. The three of was were about the same size and we shared a personal trainer.Eventually we got to know the "regulars" that we found so intimidating, and found out they weren't judgmental at all and actually quite supportive. It was also nice to get the compliments from people who noticed our progress, I think we even inspired some people ourselves.
  • Mama_Lyn
    Mama_Lyn Posts: 45 Member
    Your embarrassment is the reason you are going to the gym. Anyone there who judges you, well, they're not there for the right reason. The reason to go to a gym is to work out, get a healthy body, keep in shape. That is exactly the reason you are there. You are going for YOU, not for the other people there, and what they think DOES NOT MATTER.

    EXACTLY

    This. Plus you get the added bonus of the "Mmm, she's dedicated" stares from the already fit guys at the gym. Total motivator when they're cute with bulging muscles.
  • Flixie00
    Flixie00 Posts: 1,195 Member
    I was terrified the first time I stepped foot in my gym as I had no idea what to do and felt very self conscious about how I looked. Now I am in there 5 times a week, and am one of those really fit women in tiny gym clothes who knows their way around the weights room.

    No one ever did anything to make me feel self conscious when I first joined, but judging by the amount of people who have paid me compliments since, they must have noticed me. Now if I am in a position to offer assistance or encouragement to someone starting out, I do.

    A lot of people who use gyms started out big themselves, so are more likely to admire you for doing something to improve your health. Just jump in, you wont regret it :smile:
  • shrinkingsusie
    shrinkingsusie Posts: 40 Member
    I think you should go for it!! I highly recommend starting with a personal trainer. I know that it's pricey but when you're investing in your health, I think it's worth it. A good trainer genuinely wants to help and they'll show you how to use the gym properly. Tell them your concerns. They know that the gym floor can be very intimidating. I've been in and out of gyms for years but I recently signed up with a trainer and I'm learning so many new things. It's really giving me some confidence on the gym floor.
  • hughtwalker
    hughtwalker Posts: 2,213 Member
    When I was 55 I went to the doctor 3 weeks after we got back from Yosemite because I had an ache in my leg.
    He told me he thought I had a clot in my leg - and THEN took my blood pressure. It was way up - then he weighed me and measured me and told me my BMI was "morbidly obese".
    He told me to go to the gym - (once I had started impaling myself with Heparin daily until I had a vascular scan). I had the scan a few days later which showed I didn't have a clot - I had a Baker Cyst that had burst. This was the first sign that I had arthritis brewing.
    So, I decided they'd laugh if *I* turned up at the gym but I went anyway.
    They didn't laugh. They congratulated me and said they'd sort me out. They called over one of the instructors who took me on a tour, explained how the equipment worked and wrote down a program. I could do most of it, although it turned out I was built for distance rather than speed. I am part of the furniture 3 times a week now.

    So, don't worry. If a tub-of-lard like me can turn up and no one laugh and then turn my life around then so can you. People scare me. At a party I'll be the one in the kitchen washing up glasses so there'll be some spare. I was scared. I thought they's all be looking at me. People were busy with their own routines but some said, "Hey! You're new, aren't you? How're you getting on?" and give tips on correcting technique.
    It was a surprise.
  • Lonewolf1507
    Lonewolf1507 Posts: 507 Member
    Hi Sabrina

    I started back at the gym 8 months ago, I was almost 298 lbs (21st 4lbs) and not a buff gym type but I was going for myself not to be eye candy for the young ladies there. :laugh: I stepped on the scales this morning and I am 213 lbs (15st 2lbs).

    Last night the gym had their annual Ball, I thought I was not being noticed but people I have seen there and others I didn't recognise were coming up to me last night and congratulating me on my progress. Including a Spin instructor who hasn't seen me since the end of May, who realised who I was after us talking for about 5 minutes, she also apologised for not saying something to me 3 days ago when we worked out side by side. The point I am trying to make is that people will take notice you are there and if you work at "what you want" and work hard they will notice your progress.

    From looking at your ticker you have lost 20 lbs ish, so a big well done so far. I know you Ladies are more critical of your bodies than men are and see flaws that others don't notice. I agree with other people who have replied so far, look at trying some classes they are usually full with all sizes and abilities, get your confidence there and then start looking at using the other parts of the gym.

    Good luck with your gym life and your journey to your goals in life.

    If you would like some extra support/motivation feel free to add me.

    Andy
    A first name supporter
  • LundeenB
    LundeenB Posts: 11 Member
    I was just like you and felt embarrassed to go to the gym. So if I didnt feel confident enough to go to the gym I brought the gym to myself! Bought p90x , insanity , and several other fitness videos. Made it through p90x 2time along with my fitnes pal and walked a lot, and made it half way through insanity. I couldn't believe it I lost 28 lbs in 4.5 months! If I can do it you can! Sounds like you have the motivation and mind set. You can do it girl!!!!!
  • doitforabby
    doitforabby Posts: 137 Member
    Not everyone at the gym has always had the 'gym body' they may have now. You never know how many people around you started at the same point you are starting! Go & do your thing!
  • good2bthaking
    good2bthaking Posts: 325 Member
    I went through same feelings, but I kept telling myself it's for me, not them. I stuck with it and went from 253 lbs to 190 in 10 months. You will find that most people in gym are supportive and encouraging. There will always be the few who aren't, but forget them. Stick with it and in time you will see results. Best of luck to you.
  • You have all just made me realise how silly I'm being by not going and now I am getting ready to join the gym!! Just going to go in there, put my mp3 player on and get on with my workout. Looking forward to going now even though I'm still a little nervous.

    Thank you all for your comments :)
  • hughtwalker
    hughtwalker Posts: 2,213 Member
    You are welcome. Now, go get 'em, girl!
  • You have all just made me realise how silly I'm being by not going and now I am getting ready to join the gym!! Just going to go in there, put my mp3 player on and get on with my workout. Looking forward to going now even though I'm still a little nervous.

    Thank you all for your comments :)

    I just wanted to say I don't think you were silly, just voicing a real concern a lot of us have and it was brave to admit to it, now you're even braver by conquering it.
  • Lisha_R
    Lisha_R Posts: 92 Member
    I was nervous about going in too. Especially into the weight room. I just put my earphones in both ears and ignore everyone else. I do my thing and leave. I am hopeful one day I will get out of my sweats and oversized shirt into cute gym cloths. Most people are only concerned about their workout. You go girl.
  • Sptwoman
    Sptwoman Posts: 77 Member
    Well, first, like all red-blooded, eat-meating animals, the human must first display dominance in social situations. Walk in and just pee on the machine you want, the gym rats will see your alpha male dominance and bring you water bottles to appease you.

    Funniest damn thing I've ever read on a MFP post, NICE!

    Yes, it is hilarious!
  • Sptwoman
    Sptwoman Posts: 77 Member
    I want to add my encouragement. Go to the gym. You will feel better ab out yourself as you gain more strength and endurance. Do it for yourself!
  • amanda6393
    amanda6393 Posts: 176 Member
    Just finished reading a great little book with ideas on how to overcome this exact issue (amongst other things).
    It's called "Surprisingly...Unstuck" by Maria Brilaki.

    This is the book:
    http://www.amazon.com/Surprisingly-Unstuck-Rewire-brain-exercise-ebook/dp/B009R7V4JI/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1355091572&sr=1-1&keywords=surprisingly+unstuck
  • RekindledRose
    RekindledRose Posts: 523 Member
    Well, first, like all red-blooded, eat-meating animals, the human must first display dominance in social situations. Walk in and just pee on the machine you want, the gym rats will see your alpha male dominance and bring you water bottles to appease you.

    Just kidding.

    If you want to get more fit, or lose fat, or whatever goal you have, it has to be based on you. Are you making excuses about feeling nervous around people? Or do you really feel nervous about them?

    If it's the latter there are other things you can do. Fill up heavy water bottles and go walking in a well lit place will doing bicep curls. Go on youtube and find some exercise videos you like until you feel like you can exercise in front of other people. Get an iPod, walk in the that gym, and tune out all the others!

    Each day you don't progress because of fear is another day that you've wasted. You can do this. Don't let anyone, including yourself, stop you.

    You got this!

    Warsenic! This was great! You lightened my day.

    Ha!
  • alladream
    alladream Posts: 261 Member
    We just moved to a place that is almost all elderly people, and we seem so much younger than they are that it makes me grateful. I bought a sort of bathing suit/running thing and when I tried it on today for the first time I felt like I had gotten really out of shape and fat in the few years since I saw me in a bathing suit, but then when I saw these poor elderly people, some big, some scrawny, I could really appreciate that in the grand scheme of things my situation isn't so bad, since I have the potential for improvement and maybe some of them don't due to age and health.
  • sarahrbraun
    sarahrbraun Posts: 2,261 Member
    I've been thinking of joining the gym for around a week now but I just feel like I'll hate it and not go as I am too big. I brought a gym kit and everything but now am having second thoughts as I feel like I'm too overweight. It's ridiculous I know, but I just can't help wanting to cry when I see myself in my gym clothes. I look 8 months pregnant! I would love to go though as I think I could get a much better workout than at home. Plus now I'm back at uni and many days I go out early and return home late and I just don't have the willpower to do anything when I get home.

    I will be going to gym where I've been before, but last time I had my sister and a friend who also joined, this time I'll be doing it alone. Also, last time I was much lighter.

    sometimes you gotta just grow a set and go DO IT.

    When I started at the Y in February, I was about 80 pounds overweight. I looked a little heavier than this...

    8193374926_e25182cc2b_q.jpg
    0120100909 by crochetmom2010, on Flickr

    No one laughed, or said anything mean. What DID happen is that the cute young trainer noticed that I was there VERY often, and he started chatting and joking with me. And other members noticed that I was there and working hard. People started coming up to me and telling me how HARD they saw me working, and how good I was doing.

    I've only lost about 32 lbs over the last 11 months or so, but with the weight training I have been doing it looks like a little more ( at least I think so...). I now look like this...

    8193379046_12510bafc2_q.jpg
    IMG00817-20121113-0848 by crochetmom2010, on Flickr
  • You just have to force yourself to go for a few times, and it will get easier each time. Everybody who works out regularly knows that everyone is there to improve their health and fitness. People are at all different levels, and few waiting to judge you. It's all in your head. Put on a big t-shirt instead of tight gym clothes if you are embarrassed. I'm excited to see new people taking control of their lives and trying to improve!! Now go work out!! Quit worrying!
  • Just go and don't worry about what people think. 95% of the people there are just as self conscious as you are. Wear a baggy sweat shirt, put your headphones on and just work out. After a month or so you'll realize that nobody is paying attention to you and you will start working out in regular gym clothes.
  • hughtwalker
    hughtwalker Posts: 2,213 Member
    I thought they'd laugh when I went to join - no one laughed. In fact, the instructor was really positive and gave me some sets of exercises to do and left me to it (unknown to me, keeping an eye on me) - and, do you know what? I could do it. I felt such a sense of accomplishment1

    GO ON! and if anyone DOES make you feel embarrassed then know that you are in the wrong gym rather than you being wrong for the gym.
  • T1mH
    T1mH Posts: 568 Member
    Those that mind don't matter, those that matter don't mind.

    Just do it.
  • That is exactly how a lot of people feel. When I see an overweight person exercise I feel proud for them! When I see a bigger person at a gym, I give them encouragement in my head.
    No one is judging you. Everyone is there for the same reason - to get fit! And don't feel bad about that. You'd be surprised at how many people are there hoping for the best for you.

    I know, I had belonged to a gym believe it or not, for 19 years before I really used my membership. The rest of my family used it, but it just wasn't for me. I finally got to the point where after dieting unsuccessfully for 19 years that I HAD to do something different. I bit the bullet and walked into of all things, a SPIN class! I honestly thought during the first 30 minutes of the class of every way imaginable that I could walk out and not embarrass myself, but I didn't do it. After 30 minutes, I got into that exercise "groove" and then POOF, the class was over and I DID it! I kept going back and back and now I do all kinds of classes there.

    The other day, we were driving along and my extremely fit 16 yr. daughter saw an overweight man jogging and she said, "I love it when I see people like him jogging. If HE can do it, then that gives me motivation to keep going at track practice!" WHOAAAAA!!!! What!?

    When I see overweight people at the gym and they are truly working to their best potential, they are an inspiration to me too. Nobody is perfect, we all have issues. Some people's issues are just more obvious than other people's. Go for it. Walk into a class, go back, go back again, and again, and again. You. Can. Do. It.