Ashamed

I'm currently 189 lbs at 5'4, and I'm completely ashamed of myself. Just 3 years ago I was 140 lbs, and then I just let myself go. Lately I've had this overwhelming desire to change, and in the process of that I have lost 2 lbs (I was 191 two weeks ago). I just thought that having a Food Diary on hand would help me understand what I'm doing wrong, and so I'm here. :smile:

I hope everyone achieves the weight they desire, and I wish you all the best of luck on your journeys!!! :flowerforyou:
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Replies

  • TravelDog14
    TravelDog14 Posts: 317 Member
    It's all about taking baby steps to make changes.

    I have been successful at this since June by taking it slow and not trying to revamp everything in my life. I need to make these changes stick long term so I try to make the eating and exercise choices ones that I can live with.

    Best of luck with making changes and choices that will empower you and not make you ashamed.
  • I feel sad you feel ashamed of yourself, but I feel so glad you found MFP! It is such a wonderful site - hook up with some great folks for motivation and encouragement so the process is fun and rewarding! :)
  • manofpies
    manofpies Posts: 71 Member
    Stick with it, and you'll get there...
  • hooperkay
    hooperkay Posts: 463 Member
    Well things happen, people make mistakes. No need to be ashamed. Think how proud you'll be when you lose the weight!!!
  • There are plenty of people who weigh a lot more than you do. It's good that you're getting yourself back in shape now before it gets worse. You'll be fine.
  • FitnessPal4L1f3
    FitnessPal4L1f3 Posts: 77 Member
    Please don't be ashamed - we are ALL here to love and support each other as we go trough this journey together!

    My wake up call was when my scale tipped past 300. I am 39, have two boys ( 7 and 10) who are the world to me - I too know what you mean as I was too ashamed of what I become - but - the friends here helped me though support drop 30+ pounds of my 100 pound goal in the first 30 days.

    VR

    Kevin

    P.S. Please add me as a friend.
  • zachatta
    zachatta Posts: 1,340 Member
    I was ashamed too for a while.

    I left the army at a decent weight, exited the army, and blew up to almost 270 lbs.

    I was ashamed to call myself a veteran.

    Good news is, with time and consistency, good diet, exercise, and you won't have to be ashamed anymore.

    Just keep it up!
  • I totally understand how you feel. I lost 60lbs in 2010-2011 and reached my goal weight of 140 (I am 5ft 3in tall). As soon as I did...I stopped doing what I had been doing to loose the weight. I have gained 20lbs back and feel like I have just given up. I don't know it it was the sense of accomplishment and then not having something to look forward too that caused me to go backwards or what it was. We just have to regain the will power to do it again...and keep it off! Don't be ashamed...consider it a learning experience.

    Brandy
  • wimeezer
    wimeezer Posts: 404 Member
    I'm sorry you feel ashamed of yourself. We all get off track now and again. Very glad you found mfp- its an amazing tool and has been central to my success.

    Getting healthy is a journey we're all on and it takes time to establish new habits.

    We look forward to cheering you on....you can do this!!!!!

    Feel free to friend me if you like.
  • FitnessPal4L1f3
    FitnessPal4L1f3 Posts: 77 Member
    I was ashamed too for a while.

    I left the army at a decent weight, exited the army, and blew up to almost 270 lbs.

    I was ashamed to call myself a veteran.

    Good news is, with time and consistency, good diet, exercise, and you won't have to be ashamed anymore.

    Just keep it up!

    Same here - US Air Force Vet of 12 years and I was ashamed at how I was. In 30 days I dropped over 30 pounds.
  • Please don't feel ashamed. We are all here for the same reason and we can give each other support. I have been trying to shed these pounds for the last 3 yrs. I am 5'1" and 213lbs. I used to be 104 but life happen and the weight just got out of control in the last few years. Now it's about me and I really want to get back to being myself again in more ways then one. So hang in there and we can do it together.
  • Apeck87
    Apeck87 Posts: 68 Member
    dont be ashamed!! weight is just weight it comes and goes.. you should be proud of yourself you are trying to change your eating habits and live a healthier life..

    I am proud of you!!!
    :flowerforyou: :smile:
  • 13nicholas
    13nicholas Posts: 154 Member
    The journey is actually the best part. Take solace in the small but real advances you make. Surround yourself (on here and in "real" life) with people that are caring and supportive. The road will be rocky and uneven - but keep on going! Welcome.
  • cbm1951
    cbm1951 Posts: 15
    You don't have anything to be ashamed of!! You should be proud of yourself for starting this journey and I am sure it will be a success this time!

    I am 5'9" and started this last journey of mine weighing 320 pounds. It's not something I am proud of either. I am 61 years old and I am still going to get this weight off. I am just sorry I waited so long. Don't get me wrong, I have been on diet after diet...even lost 76 pounds at one time...but gained it all back except 16 pounds. This time I will do it!!! (I'm running out of time, so I'd better get busy!!!)

    Hang in there and be confident that you will and can do this!!!
  • deenaspell
    deenaspell Posts: 227 Member
    I started at 170 lbs and I'm also 5'4". It totally sucked when I realized how bad I looked. I felt terrible about myself everyday. Trust me - you are not alone. Heck, I'm still a work in progress and I've been on here for well over a year. I've gained back 8 lbs from where I was just 3 months ago. Feel free to add me - my goal weight is 140 lbs! Hopefully I'll get there sooner rather than later!
  • jessiekanga
    jessiekanga Posts: 564 Member
    I really appreciate your openness and vulnerability, and everyone else who's shared their shame in reply. I think your shame is incredibly common, for those of us on this site, and otherwise. I wish more of us admitted it, shared it, since "speaking shame" seems to be the best cure.

    I'm 39, and have yet to "conquer" my food, weight, and exercise problems. Likely, these will stay with me as my "remaining issues" for some time. But what I have learned is that shame hasn't helped a single person change. When I'm ashamed of myself for having the extra calories, skipping the exercise, loving the carbs or gaining some weight... all I want is more damaging food. We can only continually make the healthy choices when we are wanting to love ourselves with each choice. Shame, of course, flies in the face of self-love.

    That's what I would want for us all, and believe me I'm as shame-ridden as they come... but I know that shame paralyzes me. Self-love helps me move, plug, muster the effort. So if you can, when you notice shame creeping in, berating you for letting yourself "go," remind yourself that when you first started eating, it wasn't to punish or haunt yourself, but for comfort... an attempt to feel good. Now, it's gone awry, and you need to make different choices in love. But punishing ourselves, shaming ourselves, will only succeed in keeping us from changing.

    Good luck all!
  • Scarsnbumble
    Scarsnbumble Posts: 11 Member
    You have absolutely no reason to be ashamed. It is so easy to put on extra weight and it just takes determination and perseverance to get it off again. If you want to do it, you will do it.

    This site is a fantastic resource to help you do just that and there are plenty of people on here who will be only too pleased to help, encourage and support you.

    There will be times when you maybe hit a plateau and think of giving up, but hang in there and come here every day. Become fanatical about regaining your ideal weight and you will achieve it. I'm well on the way myself, having lost 42 pounds since June 2011, most of which I lost since joining MFP.
  • I was 135 just 2 years ago & now I'm 177. I was 184 just before joining MFP a few days ago. I love it! It really helps me to keep a check on things. I was never really calorie conscious until I joined. I had no will power & was quite miserable. MFP really does help with that. :) I hope you reach your weightloss goal. :) There's tons of people here for motivation & supoort.
  • Rebturner6250
    Rebturner6250 Posts: 2 Member
    Please don't ever be ashamed of who you are. God didn't make us to be that way. He loves you for you no matter what. But anyways, my motto, Never quit quitting. I have been struggling for years, and I think I might have it right now. Feel good and
    just one day at a time. Sending some prayers your way. Rebecca
  • californiagirl2012
    californiagirl2012 Posts: 2,625 Member
    I'm currently 189 lbs at 5'4, and I'm completely ashamed of myself. Just 3 years ago I was 140 lbs, and then I just let myself go. Lately I've had this overwhelming desire to change, and in the process of that I have lost 2 lbs (I was 191 two weeks ago). I just thought that having a Food Diary on hand would help me understand what I'm doing wrong, and so I'm here. :smile:

    I hope everyone achieves the weight they desire, and I wish you all the best of luck on your journeys!!! :flowerforyou:

    I felt the same way. I hadn't let my self go, I worked out hard bet the pounds kept packing. It didn't seem fair. We all have our own stories of being ashamed, that's why we are here now, either losing or maintaining to make sure it doesn't happen again.

    Wishing you the best! Don't give up. I almost did and I finally achieved my goal at age 50 and I'm maintaining for over a year now at almost 52. You can do it. Anyone who sets their mind to it can do it.
  • I'm here to introduce myself. I've always prided myself on being a good weight...I was 100 pounds before my 4 babies and then went up to 120 which wasn't that bad....Now I've hit menopause. I'm at 150 and climbing. I can't seem to get a handle on my weight. I've tried several low carb/low fat diets, but it hasn't really worked.

    I've always been pretty sedentary. I work at the computer all day, so that hasn't changed.

    Help! I even started a web site to look up stuff to put on it like good recipes. (everything I've found tastes like crap)

    I really am new to this dieting thing but I have to do something!

    You can contact me via gmail or yahoo messenger

    terry9297
    Just say you are from "my fitness pal"
    Looking for good recipes for me and my site.

    (website: if you want to put it-- www.healthy-fat-buner.net
  • lioness0806
    lioness0806 Posts: 115 Member
    Good for you taking charge of your situation! We are all here with the same goals in mind, to lose weight and/or get healthier.
  • Please do not be ashamed. You found this site, which is really a great tool to lose weight. Give it a try and move forward. You can do it.
    :smile:
  • I'm currently 189 lbs at 5'4, and I'm completely ashamed of myself. Just 3 years ago I was 140 lbs, and then I just let myself go. Lately I've had this overwhelming desire to change, and in the process of that I have lost 2 lbs (I was 191 two weeks ago). I just thought that having a Food Diary on hand would help me understand what I'm doing wrong, and so I'm here. :smile:

    I hope everyone achieves the weight they desire, and I wish you all the best of luck on your journeys!!! :flowerforyou:

    Look here, chickie-poo.... you can't be ashamed now. You are taking steps toward change, and getting back in shape. That is amazing, and difficult... and you're doing it! I'm proud of you!
  • Katbody10
    Katbody10 Posts: 369 Member
    Nothing to be ashamed of! You're taking the first steps in the right direction .. and don't be discouraged. We all have crappy days -- we're human.

    Brush the dust off .. get up and keep moving forward again! you can do it! We're here to cheer you on! :heart:
  • Don't be ashamed. You are human, and you made some choices that didn't work out for the best. We are all here with you because of the same thing. I started my journey two years ago at 262 lbs and a size 22. Within a year, I was down to 192 lbs and in a 12. I was happy as hell, and since I carry weight in a way that makes me look smaller than I am...I relaxed. I stopped worrying about the calories. That coupled with leaving my high energy job, and I've managed to get back to 218. I think I will be forever scarred by having to go buy bigger pants. Sounds silly, I know. Anyway, the point of this ramble is that we are with you in this. If we can grow to these sizes, then we can shrink! :bigsmile:
  • galfan
    galfan Posts: 13
    I can relate. I am 40 yrs old, 5'3" and before I decided to go on a diet 3 weeks ago, I was at my heaviest weight EVER at 227 lbs. I have now lost 7 pounds in 3 weeks and have begun baby steps at exercising due to back & foot problems. I was a mere 115# when I became pregnant with my child 18 yrs ago...gained 70 pounds; lost 30 pounds after she was born & then re-gained the weight PLUS more because I had low self-esteem and a non-supportive boyfriend. In the past year, I have reconnected with someone I dated when we were both 15; fell in love and have been regaining the self-esteem I lost and now I want to be healthy to be around a long, long time and grow old with him. He helped me find myself.
  • I started about where you are now and am now at 167. No need to be ashamed, we are all human and we are capable of change, good or bad. Do what you need to do for your health and well being. :)
  • Dear Ashamed,

    First, don't do this because you feel bad about yourself. Do it because you love yourself and feel good about doing something
    nice for yourself. I find filling in what I eat, if I am busy I just write quick reminders of what I have eaten to write down later.
    Keep tabs on your exercise as well. Even a few calories burned is encouraging! Habit is the best way to lose weight and keep
    it off and I have found it has become just a part of my day and I like being in a size 8 as opposed to a size 12 and I am sure
    you will to. Keep up the good work and your positive thoughts! We are all cheering you on. :love:
  • its great that you have lost 2 pounds just by putting your mind to it :) remember this is a journey you didn't get here in a day and it won't fix itself in a moment either. these are steps you should be proud of... most take a lifetime to figure it out and your on track Congratulations and welcome