How to deal with "negative nancies" in your life

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mrsvampette
mrsvampette Posts: 99 Member
in Motivation and Support
Ok so this is for everyone who has someone close to them telling them they can't lose weight. Here's my story:

My negative nancy (or negative person in my life) happens to be my mother. She always tells me I'm a yoyo dieter or she used to tell me that I'm going to be as big as a house and that no man will ever love me because I'm so fat. She also used to call me lazy, fat, worthless, ugly, and many more names. Well this has been happening since junior high and you think I would be used to it by now but I'm not.

Anyways, last night I attempted Insanity 20 min fast and furious workout (because I wanted to know if I could do it). Truth be told I didn't even get past 2 minutes of it but I am 274 pounds but hey at least I tried for myself and I know I can't do it.....yet. My mother said to me "I don't know what gave you the idea you could do that workout, it's for people who are already fit." Now lately, I have learned not to let what she says stop me from getting to my goals because all she tries to do is bring me down, so I popped in my Zumba Activate DVD and showed her I can workout. She tried to do it with me and stopped after 2 minutes. I kept encouraging her to try it with me she just kept laughing and said no.

I told her I do this Zumba workout almost everyday ( i take a day or 2 off when I need to) and she couldn't say she was proud or good job all she said was "I know, your shoes are messing up the carpet". Even though my mother is so negative and can't compliment me, it actually makes me push harder during my workouts. I want to prove her wrong and show her that I can lose this weight. I don't expect a compliment from her ever but I do want to see her face when I am 96 pounds lighter.

I wrote this so that anyone who has a negative person in their life thats close to them can know they aren't the only ones and to not listen to those people. Whether they are your parents, grandparents, best friend, boyfriend/girlfriend, or whoever it is. You can do this and YOU decide the outcome of your journey.

Negative people aren't good influences and you should NOT listen to them them because truth be told they are just trying to hold you back. I hope this helps someone and if not well thanks for reading my story. Feel free to friend me if y'all want.

Replies

  • apatheticLog
    apatheticLog Posts: 24 Member
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    maybe shes using reverse psychology on you to succeed? either way, its working for you to push harder. but its a general rule to do things for yourself, and nobody else. who knows...her negativity (which sounds like my dad whos always trying to be funny but not) will push you to become the fittest person in the universe!

    you can do it. werk it!
  • caroleannlight
    caroleannlight Posts: 173 Member
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    Thanks for posting and well done for staying positive. I had a conversation with my "negative nancy" about negativity and sabotage last night. the gym I want to join IS expensive BUT I really need to lose weight and get fitter and working out in a convenient location in nice surroundings is important to me. It also says to me I am worth it! the cost is around the price of a cheapish night out a week so I think it is worth it.
  • kel665
    kel665 Posts: 401 Member
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    Good on you! Way to go proving her wrong! :)
  • moseler
    moseler Posts: 224 Member
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    I don't know if this is the case... but sometimes people who are negative have an underlying fear of their own. She may be afraid you will be successful and she herself will feel less empowered when you reach your goals. This could be a control issue or a self esteem issue on her part. She may feel better about herself when she is putting you down. None the less... it's HER problem, not yours. IGNORE HER and KEEP GOING.

    Sadly, I have had these negative nancy's in my life too... I slowly separated myself from them. Life is too short to spend time with miserable people.
  • maryrshstattoo
    maryrshstattoo Posts: 206 Member
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    I think it is wonderful that first you have not told your mom to go to hell and second you are still allowing her in your life. My Father was exactly like your mom and when I turned 16 yrs old I cut him completely out of my life. I am now 50 and I am a strong independent and healthy adult. I lost 100 lbs on mfp because I wanted to be healthy, not to prove him wrong. I went to college because I knew I could make something of my life not to prove him wrong. I have been married for 14 yrs to a wonderful man who he has never met. He does not deserve to be in my life. All my life he put me down and told me I would never amount to anything because I was over weight. My brother tells me now he well over 300 and super unhealthy. Always know you can do anything you set your mind to, never let anyone tell you are not a wonderful person. I think you need to have a serious talk with your mom maybe she does not realize how negative she is toward you and how it makes you feel. Keep working it lady !!
  • WendyTerry420
    WendyTerry420 Posts: 13,274 Member
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    I try to teach them to find the silver lining in that storm cloud. If they can't figure it out, then they cease to be part of my life. I don't have time for it. :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou:

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