I dont get it..

Restybaby2012
Restybaby2012 Posts: 568 Member
in Motivation and Support
........so Im here whining. Please bear with me and lemme whine (then ya can blast me for it)

Ive lost like 60 pounds since July.. I read a post here a bit ago that said to try and carry something that weighs what you've lost (poster mentioned something 25 lbs because thats what she'd lost). I cant imagine picking up something that weighs 60 lbs right now though I usta be able to.

My clothes all feel different. I can now wear my skinny jeans, I seriously need new skivvies et al. I FEEL better, move better blah blah blah. But.........here's my hugest (is that a word?) problem. I dont SEE IT

I dont SEE IT
I dont SEE IT
I dont SEE IT

I look in the mirror and see...............no change, nothing. I do see that I dont have the dark circles under my eyes even though I only sleep about 3 hours a night. I do move better most of the time.

But.....

I dont SEE it

Im worried..yes worried that it will derail me from moving on, from forging ahead and doing what I know I CAN and WANT to do.

I saw my son and his wife yesterday...first time since this journey got underway (other than the very early days of it that is). It was kind of disheartening that he didnt seem to notice. OMG that sounds so childish and terrible doesnt it? I just figured he'd be the first one to jump on it and say something. UGH.

Bottom line is I just dont see it ....then I start to wonder if its even possible or worth it or is it just "too late" for me. Gawd I sound like a whiny sniveling attention seeking cowardly sissy. (hope I covered em all).

I lost my mojo, anybody seen it? Please tell it I miss it and want it to come home soon.

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Replies

  • rjsimpson2002
    rjsimpson2002 Posts: 115 Member
    Your clothes can see it! You can FEEL it! Do you have any before pics you can compare with? That's helped me when I couldn't see much change at first.

    You have lost so much weight and you are doing so well - you still have your mojo - it's like someone looking for their glasses when they are on their head!!!

    As for your son, maybe when he looks at you he sees YOU and not your body size - that's really cool. :happy: :happy: :happy:
  • PhoebesFit
    PhoebesFit Posts: 29
    Oh I hope you have before pictures to compare. I'm sure your son just sees mom. You've been watching yourself change all along you journey. Maybe your used to your changes. Keep up the good work. :smile:
  • pouncepet
    pouncepet Posts: 72 Member
    Oh sweety. It sounds like you are suffering from body dysmorphia. You see the scales, the clothes, the health benefits... Have you thought about counselling? It may not seem like something you want to do but in the long run it can be very beneficial considering how strongly your frustration seems to be.

    As for your son. Ummm he is a MAN. Half the time they aren't going to notice, and the other half of the time if they notice-chances are he isn't going to say anything (why risk the lady turning around and bursting into tears saying she always knew he thought she was fat-I exaggerate but you get the idea)

    DONT allow yourself to quit or give up! Remember how far you've come, and enjoy feeling lighter and healthier!

    Also, *HUGS* YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL! Hold on to that!
  • GuybrushThreepw00d
    GuybrushThreepw00d Posts: 784 Member
    As for your son. Ummm he is a MAN. Half the time they aren't going to notice, and the other half of the time if they notice-chances are he isn't going to say anything (why risk the lady turning around and bursting into tears saying she always knew he thought she was fat-I exaggerate but you get the idea)

    So true.... I would tend to not comment even if I noticed..
  • wimeezer
    wimeezer Posts: 404 Member
    Sweetie, don't give up...you are doing great! He sees YOU, your heart and spirit, not the package.

    But I know the feeling, I've dropped a couple of clothes sizes and no one has commented on it. Bit of a letdown but I'm doing this for me and that's all that really matters.

    Hang in there....you can do this!
  • bertoliniracing
    bertoliniracing Posts: 20
    Oh PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE don't give up!!!! I was in the same boat as you I lost 60 lbs & couldn't see it so I got frustrated & gave up! Well I gained every pound back so now I am starting over again. Not sure how to fix this problem but hoping that support from here will help this time. I like the before & after picture ideas I think I am going to do the. I avoid cameras right now it is to embarassing!
  • kcoftx
    kcoftx Posts: 765 Member
    60lbs is a significant loss! Kudos! You definitely need pictures to help you see it.
  • Ofaatu
    Ofaatu Posts: 42 Member
    I get like that too.

    My other half came home from a cousins house tonight and he said everyone was talking about how much better I'm looking. The thing is none of them say it to my face!!! I'm not really seeing it, Well sometimes I do. I feel better, clothes are looser etc But most of the time I see myself where I started.

    I think males see it but don't like saying it in fear of what we might come back with!
  • apatheticLog
    apatheticLog Posts: 24 Member
    its the craziest thing ever, isnt it. not seeing what everyone else sees.

    even when i was at my skinniest, i still saw myself as fat in the mirror. its an awful feeling, but you have to start training your mind to see the healthier you. i didnt see the changes until i compared photos of myself at my heaviest to my skinniest.

    the mind is a powerful powerful tool. dont let it sabotage you!
  • lovingmymuscles
    lovingmymuscles Posts: 11
    If you don't see the 60 lbs weight loss, but your scale, your clothes, and your measurements are showing you losses, than that proves the benefits of taking before and after photos, and EXERCISE. WEIGHT LIFTING. You say you only sleep three hours a night, well maybe you would feel much brighter and happier about your enormous weight loss (60 lbs is a huge accomplishment!! Good for you!! That's incredible!), if you got more sleep.

    If getting more sleep is impossible for you, i understand. I have been there. Sometimes for what ever reasons, 3 hours of sleep can be a GOOD night....however, it is not sustainable and will leave you no energy for exercise (or thinking positive thoughts)...so try to get more sleep, and you will feel happier!

    Exercise! Pick up some weights, and tone your body! You can buy work out videos that are 20 mins long. Surely you have an extra 20 minutes, if you're posting forums on the internet!

    So get back on track! Pick up your mojo and feel incredible for what you've accomplished! Remember when that scale used to read 60lbs heavier? Well it will never again show you that weight...and at one point you probably thought you couldn't even lose 10 lbs...so what an incredible journey you are on!

    Take your photo now (and don't be ashamed of photos! You see yourself every day. Everyone else sees you every day. What's the difference in a photo being seen?). If you're still trying to lose weight, then this photo is your new "after 60lbs weight loss" before photo. Take new photos as you go along. You will likely see your body more objectively in the photos, and be able to see the difference.

    Take your measurements, and check out the size you've dropped in clothes.

    Love yourself! get some rest. Lift some weights, or do some push ups and sit ups, or any kind of exercise you can physically do. Your fitness and strength will improve, and so will your body image (both mentally and physically).
  • pkw58
    pkw58 Posts: 2,038 Member
    Give it some time..just like you dont notice the gain till you have to buy bigger clothes, it is much the same when you lose...

    I keep thinking the sales clerk is going to tell me i brought the wrong size to the try on room when i go clothes shopping, but size 6 nydj jeans keep right on zipping up and fitting great!
  • zyxst
    zyxst Posts: 9,149 Member
    I only see differences when I compare pictures. My body shape is exactly the same.
  • moseler
    moseler Posts: 224 Member
    I felt this same way several months ago... I could feel my clothes fitting better, I was able to see the difference on the scale and I was physically capable of doing things I had not been able to do in years... but, for the most part, when I looked in the mirror I still saw the fat clinging to me. It really wasn't until I started working out regularly whether it was walking, biking, hiking or strength training that I began to SEE the difference. Now, not only can I see the difference, but so can everyone around me... and I am diggin' the positive feedback...

    BUT... this isn't what this is supposed to be about. It's a benefit, yes... but not the reason. Try looking at this from a different perspective. You FEEL better. This is a HUGE physical and mental change for you. Each day that you stick with your goals, you are going to find new things to celebrate... sitting in airplane seats comfortably, sitting in movie seats without having to raise the arms of the seat, buying clothes in stores you haven't set foot in for years, climbing stairs without becoming winded, crossing your legs again, I can go on and ON... These are the things that keep me going. These are the things that I hadn't really even realized I was missing before and I am so grateful and happy to be able to do them again. It makes me feel strong both mentally and physically. It makes me wonder what I will find I can do again a few pounds from now... this motivates me to keep moving.

    You will get there... don't fixate on what you can't SEE... think about the things you can FEEL. The seeing part will come, I promise.
  • joeysox
    joeysox Posts: 195 Member
    i understand how you feel ive lost 173pounds and still feel no different it takes time and people forget when losing a big amount of weight it affects you mentally too its hard to see yourself as anything other than the old you, take pictures every few weeks so u can compare them thats what i try to do. also i saw that someone mentioned body dismorphia i have this, always have im waiting for CBT for it, if you really feel so low over this it may be worth seeing your gp about it for some support xxxx

    p.s dont let it put you off that your son didnt notice, your doing really well and if anything you will be much healthier for it :) x
  • JesterMFP
    JesterMFP Posts: 3,596 Member
    Congratulations on your loss! You know, it's very common not to be able to see/feel the change in yourself. The only thing that works for me at the moment is taking photos, and comparing them to old ones. Other than that, give it time. I've heard several people say that the brain catches up with the changes in time.
  • andreahanlon
    andreahanlon Posts: 263 Member
    You've lost a lot of weight. Great work! You WILL see it... don't give up. You started this journey for you, right? Not for everyone else. And you're still worth it! It's hard when others aren't acknowledging such a great feat. But keep going and you WILL see it. Hang in there!!!
  • LorinaLynn
    LorinaLynn Posts: 13,247 Member
    I only see differences when I compare pictures.

    This.

    You see yourself every day. Every day, it's a tiny change. It's like watching grass grow. Most people don't see the changes in the mirror.

    It's the main reason I take pictures regularly (currently, every two weeks, in a bikini, from every angle) and use photos that show my progress in my profile on here. To further convince myself that I look a different. If I don't see the changes when I see myself naked or nearly naked twice a day in the mirror, I'm going to make damn sure I see the changes every time I log into this site.
  • Restybaby2012
    Restybaby2012 Posts: 568 Member
    Up until a week or so ago I was working out with a variety of weights / dumbbells. I LOVED IT. I had to take a bit of a sabbatical because of major pain issues but Im NOT NOT NOT giving up.........not by a damn long shot. It was just a bit disheartening that my son nor his wife seemed to notice. BUT.....after some of you pointing out that he may have noticed and just didnt say anything, I must agree....that would be "him" more than anything.

    Im just feeling a bit frustrated.....but not near give up type frustrated. IF I was inclined to giving up Id be sitting here having the biggest freshest cinnamon roll with cream cheese icing ever made but Im not...I had an apple and an ounce of cheddar cheese and a piece of toast. :blushing:

    My Motto:

    THEQUEEN.jpg
  • cynma
    cynma Posts: 77 Member
    Hi, I was the same as you for a long time. The doctor said I needed to get rid of 27 pounds.I know some people would not concider it to be alot but it was hard for me and took me a year to do it. I did it, felt better, clothes got smaller but did not see a difference. I went back to the dr and said I don't see a difference I still feel big. She told me I was a healthy weight and should not lose more.Then one day my daughter came over and took a photo of my granddaughter and me. When I played it back I could not believe it. I said to my daughter "Holy crap,thats me" My eyes filled with tears it was the first time in years a photo was taken of me that I didnt feel I looked like a pumpkin. (if you look at my photos you can tell which one I mean) My daughter said "ya you look great" Restybaby sometimes people who really care about you don't see a difference because they see the person inside. Sort of like the best part of a book is the contents of the story not the cover. So my advice is like all the others compare photos I know you will see a difference. You have worked hard. Check out old photos and take some new ones I know when you least expect it you will see it. Don't give up you are doing amazing.
  • shorty35565
    shorty35565 Posts: 1,425 Member
    Take progress pictures & I PROMISE you will b able to see it. It's really hard to see it on ourselves, cuz we look at ourselves every day.
  • Jennifer_Lynn_1982
    Jennifer_Lynn_1982 Posts: 567 Member
    I have heard that it takes awhile for yourself to see the physical changes in our bodies...before and after photos and tracking my measurements have kept me on track until I can see it in the mirror.
    When I get closer to goal. I will post my before and after photos.
  • jubeesh
    jubeesh Posts: 156
    I have been dealing with the exact same issue. I'm glad I am not the only one and I will be using these suggestions as well. Thanks everyone!

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