Looking for motivation and others to join in

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Carol_123
Carol_123 Posts: 74 Member
in Motivation and Support
I have the best of intentions but without something to keep me accountable, I seem to keep slipping back into bad habits and lie to myself that I will start the week fresh again next Monday. Since being a stay at home mother, I just keep putting off my health and happiness. I hate being 45lbs overweight when I was so fit previously when I was working. I fit in exercise before because I had time restrictions and now that I'm home all the time I just keep thinking I'll do it later and then don't and I just am becoming more and more depressed about this which does nothing to help my motivation. Being around my fridge 24 hours a day is my downfall, not to mention how I basically taste test anything I feed my daughter.

The sad part is I felt this way the first 10lbs and felt obese and felt like it was out of control then so I allowed myself to put on even more weight because I already felt overweight if that makes any sense. Now I am 45 lbs overweight wishing I had a little more common sense back when it was only 10 or 20. How does one get out of this depressing mindset?

I was possibly hoping to start a small manageable group of people that could really motivate and inspire each other. I've tried joining other groups but they were either so huge that I couldn't keep up with who was who never really getting to have a personal connection with anyone or the group never really got off the ground. I would really like to find maybe 20 people who are serious about losing 40-50lbs with weekly weigh-ins and daily accountability for your food or exercise. I really feel like the only way I am going to get out of this rut initially is to have a supportive group like this.

So if there is anyone seriously wanting to support each other and get this weight off once and for all, let me know and I'll create a group for us and keep track of all our stats. I would love to meet some fun people to get to know that could benefit from have a small personal group of people cheering them on.

And don't worry - I'm not one of those moms that want to talk about their kids all day :) I realize she is only cute to me so don't let the stay at home mom thing throw you off. I'm just mentioning it because I didn't eat so much when I worked out of the house and if possible it'd also be nice meet other people home during the day to do virtual exercise classes where we agree on a time of the morning and then do it! so it's like Weight Watchers and gym class that we all do together.

Carol

Replies

  • zentha1384
    zentha1384 Posts: 323 Member
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    That has to be hard. One thing my husband and I did was when we start we purged a lot of food that was not on our diet. Anything that is "bad" that we kept (Stuff like baking materials, alcohol or other stuff that might be needed but we shouldn't eat) we put in one cupboard. Then we tired a bright ribbon around the handles and put stuff in front of it. That when if we are thinking we just want a we have plenty of time to think if it is really worth it. I doubt this will work for your fridge but maybe you can put all the bad stuff in one basket with reminders why you shouldn't go in there.

    Another thing we set up was an achievement list, it is modeled after the xbox (we are both huge gamers). We set what different goals are valued at and then when we reach those goals we collect points. those point can be used to buy rewards. We got a new TV, some new games, and I got boot that I have always wanted. Modeling it after the xbox may not work for you but the concept could still. What is great about this is it doesn't just have to be weight goals, my husband is still in school so some of his goals have to do with that. Get someone else to make up achievements they want and you can compete to see who can collect more.

    At work I am in charge of a biggest losers thing, every week we all weigh in on this scale in the Chemical lab and they give me their weights. We then compete to see who can lose the largest percentage over 3 months. Sometimes we put money in before hand, but what seemed to honestly work best was if anyone's weight went up from the previous week they had to pay a dollar. It really made everyone accountable, they were responsible and they couldn't do "well if I have a bad week this week I can just make up next week" They owed a dollar, they paid for not doing everything they could have done and they seemed to be all the more motivated not to have to owe another week.

    I hope these help give you ideas on ways to motivate you.
  • dwan28
    dwan28 Posts: 5 Member
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    Ok, DON't have to eat like a rabbit to loose weight.at the end of Feb. I was 70 lbs heavier. Within 6 months I lost 70 lbs. If u want to know how let me know.
  • jessicalongwe
    jessicalongwe Posts: 7 Member
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    I can relate! I'm on the constant roller coaster of total motivation, and then falling completely off the wagon. Sometimes I tell myself that it doesn't even matter because I plan on having kids within the next year or two, so why bother losing now? Then I realize that it's a lifestyle change, and I want to be healthy for the day when I do have little ones to keep up with! I would be interested in being workout buddies if you are! :) I'm starting Zumba at home next Monday. I currently have about 30 to 45lbs that I would really like to lose, and I think that I need to jump start it with some cardio, and of course eating right! We have P90X, but I find myself getting frustrated with not being able to keep up with the routines. What type of program are you using, if any?
  • Dianemustang
    Dianemustang Posts: 77
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    first you need to plan meals - and get the crap out of the house - I am sure you not taste testing everything will help - I have about 35 lbs to go...had a horrible day and have not been on the treadmill in two days - it is hard....no doubt...but can be done . I will gladly kick you in the butt if you slack off....I am a 55 y.o. grammy of two - was a SAHM - for years - this is totally the easiest way to keep track (MFP).....feel free to friend me if you like. Good luck!
  • bassett8807
    bassett8807 Posts: 96 Member
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    I just posted a similar post looking for accountability partners! I am in the same situation!
  • apatheticLog
    apatheticLog Posts: 24 Member
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    you guys. i NEED to lose 60lbs. a few years ago, i looked amazing, awesome, hot. now... a big fat pig. i have gorged on pints of ice cream daily, pizza almost daily, chinese food, burritos, italian food creamy alfredo pastas out the wazoo, CEREAL (boxes) and now i am a round, waddling ball. i have joined 3 gyms. YES 3 in hopes ill go to one of them. crazy, i know! still havent gone to ANY. its been almost 8 months. ugh.

    would LOVE to join this group. i NEED to join this group. dwan28, pls tell us how you did it. that is amazing. congrats!
  • Carol_123
    Carol_123 Posts: 74 Member
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    Thanks guys. Dwan, yes post but based on some other of her posts I saw she has completed the Insanity workout from Beach Body so some serious exercising!

    Zentha - That is too funny, tying ribbons on the cupboards and putting things in front of it. You have some fun ideas!

    Dwan- I'm just curious if you started out with insanity or got yourself in shape with something else first before starting insanity?

    Jessica - Definitely lose the weight before the baby! I actually lost weight while pregnant because I was eating better than normal and not drinking wine. You want to enjoy your baby and not hate yourself through that wonderful experience cause you got even bigger than you are now. I soooo regret not getting my weight under control before getting pregnant because I felt too fat to get photos of me and my daughter or me pregnant. It's a shame that weight can undermine such a wonderful time in your life. Plus it can take awhile to get pregnant and getting in shape may help you get pregnant faster and have a better pregnancy. Ok I'm done my pep talk haha.... but yes let's be exercise buddies. I want to create a small group where we can really be personally accountable to each other. Workouts start Monday! I will go figure out how to create the group to track info and post the link later today.

    Diane - "I will gladly kick you in the butt if you slack off" - LOL. Yes planning meals is something I definitely need to do. I actually don't buy crap for the house but have teenagers and a husband that bring it in. I don't have a sweet tooth thank God but indulge in wine and salty things which can be as stupid as too much butter on bread or crackers, melted cheese on trisquits, daily foods that are in the house.

    Bassett - We are friends already so yes, let's do this!

    ApatheticLog- That is one depressing name but exactly how it feels trapped in the depression of being overweight. It's a vicious cycle of hating yourself and then burying yourself in more food. I often think of it a mild form of suicide...because we are slowly killing ourselves mentally and physically. I was hot too, had it all under control until I left a job and somehow lost my purpose and accountability after that being home alone. i used to walk and hour a day/5x a week. I was always a chunky kid and then got in the best shape of my life as an adult and loved it. So.... no more 'used to be's"... let's get hot again!
  • apatheticLog
    apatheticLog Posts: 24 Member
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    omg i was TOO a chubby kid. i remember what i ate most...milk and pancakes! oh those pancakes! no more gluttony ANYMORE. i cant. if i continue this way, ill be as big as a house. ill never leave my home for fear of embarrassment. actually, i never leave my home now for fear of embarrassment...never answer texts from my friends i havent seen in a while BECAUSE I GOT FAT again, and its so shameful.

    this madness starts now. im so committed im gonna freak out. !!

    so glad to have found you here! lets do it mama!
  • apatheticLog
    apatheticLog Posts: 24 Member
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    i should also mention when i was at my skinniest at 150...i WAS THE HAPPIEST PERSON ALIVE. everything was great...now, everything sucks to hell. gotta get back to my happy. !!
  • zentha1384
    zentha1384 Posts: 323 Member
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    Zentha - That is too funny, tying ribbons on the cupboards and putting things in front of it. You have some fun ideas!

    Thanks, now My husband and I are thinking about joining a Gym, but with our staggered work schedules we would almost never get to go together. I have been looking for way to motivate me to go to the gym. Sadly my brain gets in my way. I really need to change my way of thinking so that the first thing I think of when I says "I should go to the gym (or work out)" isn't an excuse not to. I know that is how my mind works, it floods with reason not to and I give into it: "I don't feel like it" "My shoulder (or whatever else) is sore" "I'm tired" "I just want to veg out" etc.

    I'm struggling how to get around that. So far the only way is to promise to go with some one. Then the guilt of letting them down overpowers my will not to go. It also help with the "I don't like strangers to see me" "My body is so embarrassing" because I have a friend there that is in the same boat. I can't seem to find anyone willing to go with me, the person that was now has two more jobs and no time.

    I have a long way to go, but I have come so far I weigh less than I did 7 years ago, I can't wait until I can say I weigh less than when I started College.
  • Ruthann1971
    Ruthann1971 Posts: 6 Member
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    Carol, I'd love to be a part of your group. I understand where you are coming from completely. I have a few friends that have done the Insanity workouts and from what they say it's intense. I'm not saying that someone that is overweight and out of shape couldn't start out there but I know I would get really depressed if I wasn't a little in shape before I started it.

    My biggest problem is lack of motivation. I've been trying to lose 50+ lbs for a year now but I keep getting depressed and in turn get more disappointed in myself and then give up.

    We are all on a long, hard road to healthier lifestyles. I'm just praying that this is the time that things really change and I can succeed.
  • Carol_123
    Carol_123 Posts: 74 Member
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    We started a group called Thin and Sexy if anyone else wants to join in for daily accountability. I've lost 2.8 lbs in 5 days. I couldn't resist and weighed myself this morning after starting this Monday. My diet still has serious room for improvement but this small success has me more motivated to see what I can do if i keep making positive changes.

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