Losing weight = chip on shoulder?

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lr8812
lr8812 Posts: 111
in Chit-Chat
Ok... I was fat, for a few years, at my worst it was from 2009-2012 (hit my goal of 150 lbs in March), and ever since I've been skinny, I've found myself to be very judgmental of people. Whenever I see someone in the food store who's fat, or even at a fast food place eating/buying stuff that's bad, I just think "oh how hopeless" or, "oh what a fat *kitten*". It's horrible, but at the same time, my real intention/hope would be the person would eventually have sense and correct their weight issue. I never bragged or would really show off the things I'd eat and places I'd eat. I constantly see one fat guy I know, who's 2 years younger than me and he's constantly bragging on Facebook about how he's eating out, having ice cream late at night, etc. It just ticks me off. I feel like I have this huge sense of cockiness I guess? But it's like I earned it and I love showing my success. Anyone else experience this...?

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  • MaryJane_8810002
    MaryJane_8810002 Posts: 2,082 Member
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    When I initially lost 60 pounds I did this all the time! I was even trying to goad my twin sister into an all organic diet. I was trying to make my co workers go on the master cleanse and would be disgusted when it was "Burger King Day." When I moved and gained the weight back I realized that its not easy and you can't judge everyone. I grew up in a low income community where they lack the knowledge of basic nutrition. No one is perfect, you just have to work on yourself and hope that others will make the change on their own.
  • cmsu64113
    cmsu64113 Posts: 474 Member
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    Yep I do the exact same thing. Just try and focus on myself and use them as motivation. Just have to remember they will have their wake up call one day.
  • invisibubble
    invisibubble Posts: 662 Member
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    Maybe they like being fat. Dude, chill out. It only bothers me when people complain they're fat and they eat nothing but junk, too much of it, and sit on their *kitten* all day. Or when they're really putting themselves at massive risk, literally killing themselves medically and don't want to eat healthier. But hey, it bugs me when anyone doesn't try when they really are miserable.
    Stop judging everyone by your own health/body standards. It's incredibly pig headed.
  • likearadiowave
    likearadiowave Posts: 445 Member
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    Ok... I was fat, for a few years, at my worst it was from 2009-2012 (hit my goal of 150 lbs in March), and ever since I've been skinny, I've found myself to be very judgmental of people. Whenever I see someone in the food store who's fat, or even at a fast food place eating/buying stuff that's bad, I just think "oh how hopeless" or, "oh what a fat *kitten*". It's horrible, but at the same time, my real intention/hope would be the person would eventually have sense and correct their weight issue. I never bragged or would really show off the things I'd eat and places I'd eat. I constantly see one fat guy I know, who's 2 years younger than me and he's constantly bragging on Facebook about how he's eating out, having ice cream late at night, etc. It just ticks me off. I feel like I have this huge sense of cockiness I guess? But it's like I earned it and I love showing my success. Anyone else experience this...?

    First off, it's really good you've noticed it.

    And I can understand your fustrations with people who haven't reached your level of success. However, remember that we all come from somewhere, and just like you, those people might need some extra encouragement just like you did when you were losing weight. When you were losing weight, would you have liked it if someone were judging you in the same way?

    It's important to remember where you started and not become one of those evangelical know-it alls that constantly criticizes people about their weight/eating habits, even though they might need help.

    Because those people are annoying.
  • kobiemom
    kobiemom Posts: 218 Member
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    You can't make anyone see it when they don't want to. They have to get there on their own. You can't bulldoze them to it. Hope that your example will cause them to think about it. Maybe even ask you about it. The more grace you show, the more likely they'll ask.
  • gazelleintraining
    gazelleintraining Posts: 107
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    It may stem from a buried fear that you could easily go back there. Freud once said that the qualities that we most despise in others are the ones that we, too, possess. Compassion is the road out.
  • jgsparks89
    jgsparks89 Posts: 85 Member
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    Maybe they like being fat. Dude, chill out. It only bothers me when people complain they're fat and they eat nothing but junk, too much of it, and sit on their *kitten* all day. Or when they're really putting themselves at massive risk, literally killing themselves medically and don't want to eat healthier. But hey, it bugs me when anyone doesn't try when they really are miserable.
    Stop judging everyone by your own health/body standards. It's incredibly pig headed.

    Yeah, pretty much this. Also, you need to respect that other people are entitled to make their own choices, just as you are. I think that most people who judge others are projecting their own lack of self confidence.
  • _shortstack
    _shortstack Posts: 46 Member
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    I hate to admit it, but I tend to judge the thinner people. Mostly because of my own insecurities.
    Like I said I'm an *kitten*.
  • redheaddee
    redheaddee Posts: 2,005 Member
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    When I initially lost 60 pounds I did this all the time! I was even trying to goad my twin sister into an all organic diet. I was trying to make my co workers go on the master cleanse and would be disgusted when it was "Burger King Day." When I moved and gained the weight back I realized that its not easy and you can't judge everyone. I grew up in a low income community where they lack the knowledge of basic nutrition. No one is perfect, you just have to work on yourself and hope that others will make the change on their own.

    I wholeheatedly second this. Stop being judgemental, unless your real identity is St Peter or Judge Judy it is not your job to judge others. :noway:
  • RedHeadDevotchka
    RedHeadDevotchka Posts: 1,394 Member
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    I get that too...I mean, it's kinda like you've been there and now you've been thin(er) for a while and it's maddening when you know that these people could be doing something to not be so fat/lazy/whatevr the complaint. (Not to sound all noble that the only reason you judge is bc you care, but I bet it's on the list).
    Also, educating yourself on proper nutrition and exercise is a real eye opener to what happens when you don't take care of yourself and many of these people could really be ignorant of what they should be doing.
    I do it too, and I dont' like it, but hey, I can't change anyone but myself.
  • sfoster3171982
    sfoster3171982 Posts: 76 Member
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    I do it to, but I wonder if that is what I look like to others and sometimes I want to cry and I look at people weird when they still call me "Big" cause I am not big I am toning and just have skin that's a little flabby.
  • SueInAz
    SueInAz Posts: 6,592 Member
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    I have a tendency to do this from time to time, too. I think the easiest way to stop yourself is to ask "Would I have wanted other people thinking those things about ME before?"
  • mdj1501
    mdj1501 Posts: 392 Member
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    It may stem from a buried fear that you could easily go back there. Freud once said that the qualities that we most despise in others are the ones that we, too, possess. Compassion is the road out.


    ^^^^^^THIS exactly! I have the opposite reaction that you have, I feel like it is up to me to shout at them to wake up and try MFP. But my shyness prohibits me from opening my mouth, then I feel guilty.
  • PayneAS
    PayneAS Posts: 669 Member
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    Have an ice cream and post how awesome it is on Facebook back?
  • Molly_Maguire
    Molly_Maguire Posts: 1,103 Member
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    I have those thoughts too sometimes, but it only REALLY bothers me when people who I know well complain about being fat, and I KNOW they aren't doing anything about it, or make excuses not to change. Aside from that, I just let them be. If they insist on eating that cheeseburger, hey, that's one less burger that **I** didn't eat, right? :happy:

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