jealousy?

ladyark
ladyark Posts: 1,101 Member
in Motivation and Support
I have lost 42 lbs so far since i started trying about 4.5 months ago. I exercise 5-6 times a week and i LOVE LOVE LOVE Zumba.
I love anything that will motivate me and keep me accountable. Quotes, videos, success stories etc.

Well, on my Facebook page i always post these things that i find. They are what keeps me inspired. Well , i have a friend ( or not i guess) that actually told me i was uppity , self centered and trying to insult others ( who are not trying to change their lifestlye as am) by posting those things daily on my FB . I do not give advice or say " you should be doing this" etc. I just post the things that make me happy.

So she sent me a nasty message ( with not so nice names and insults out of the blue) that i was trying to make others on my FB feel inferior because they are choosing to follow the lifestyles they enjoy. Why the heck do people think like that?? I have never once said a thing to people who choose a different way than i do because i was once that way myself . I cant promote being healthy enough and if you find it obsessive then move along is basically what i said.

I know she is being absolutely rediculous and i have decided that i will not let it take up any more rent in my head. I will keep on keeping on and becoming a better version of myself no matter what!!

And that is my vent for the day :) thanks for listening lol
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Replies

  • wilmnoca
    wilmnoca Posts: 416 Member
    Its total jealousy. You should post them twice a day now:)
  • msbunnie68
    msbunnie68 Posts: 1,894 Member
    keep on posting your affirmations. It is part of who you are and why your friends like you.

    And people like that 'friend' is EXACTLY what the defriending function on facebook is for.
  • kbooth
    kbooth Posts: 49 Member
    It is so sad that people can't be happy for someone trying to make positive changes in their life. I go through the same thing with my in-laws.

    When I was going to cardio classes 3x a week and running on the weekends, I was told that I was being selfish and taking too much time away from my family. BUT my sister-in-law went and got gastric bypass surgery, lost 90 pounds, and is now told how awesome it is that she was able to loose the weight. While I'm happy for her...SHE CHEATED!!! I was working hard to count my calories, exercise regularly, and even incorporate my family whenever I could...my daughter would bike ride when I would run or she would go with me to my Zumba class and participate. How is it that taking the easy road is worthy of praise, but good old fashioned hard work is not?!

    I'm so sorry that your "friend" is not supporting you or seeing your posts as positive and uplifting. Maybe she is saying those things out of guilt that she can't/won't take the initiative to better herself? Either way, keep staying positive and strong. You are doing a great job and have no reason to be put down! :)
  • camelgirlmn
    camelgirlmn Posts: 226 Member
    I absolutely love the fact that you are uppity!!! For people like us on this journey we need to stay positiv!=e!!! And if that person cant accept that there is a delete button!!!! BUt I could sur e use some one as motivational and encourageing as you on my friends list!!!


    ~Amber~
  • ladyark
    ladyark Posts: 1,101 Member
    I absolutely love the fact that you are uppity!!! For people like us on this journey we need to stay positiv!=e!!! And if that person cant accept that there is a delete button!!!! BUt I could sur e use some one as motivational and encourageing as you on my friends list!!!


    ~Amber~

    Amber.....feel free to add me :) I am always looking for help in the motivation and support system. I am always trying to give it as well. I think i am so much better since joining MFP and realizing i am not " alone" in this.
  • wimeezer
    wimeezer Posts: 404 Member
    Its too bad when some people aren't mature enough to be supportive when another takes charge of their life. Your change is perceived as threatening to their life and makes them see what they could be doing themselves.

    Thank goodness for the unfriend button.

    You are doing am awesome job, keep doing what you are doing and don't let anyone stop you!

    Feel free to friend me; we can never have too many cheerleaders!!
  • fallonrhea
    fallonrhea Posts: 388 Member
    I don't think this is uncommon. It is her own insecurities for NOT taking on your lifestyle that is making her lash out. Instead of self-evaluating and realizing that your lifestyle is something that she probably would want for herself (without the hard work!) she's making an excuse and blaming her disappointment in herself on you.

    The group of girls in my graduate program do this too. They told me that the P90X program is "too much" and a "fad" and told my other fit friend that she shouldn't be doing crossfit 3 times a week with the paleo diet because this is "bad for her". Who knew exercise and eating clean is a bad thing where drinking and smoking every night is great for your body? (They also said all these things are too expensive when they're blowing hundreds of dollars on booze and drugs every week) They just don't want to admit that they COULD be doing these things, but they CHOOSE not to. Instead they decide it's somehow "bad" so they can justify the reasons they're not doing it. Just like how your friend thinks it's your fault that she feels bad for not putting in the work to take on your lifestyle herself.

    Just ignore it and continue to post things that make you feel good. I'm sure you have friends on your list that appreciate your motivational quotes - I know I would if I was on your friends list!
  • dorothytd
    dorothytd Posts: 1,138 Member
    That's one of the reasons I love this site. Most of my "real" friends on Facebook just don't get how much fitness, and especially exercise, have become my passion, and a way of life. So unless I'm pushing a charity run or a major accomplishment, I share it here with my support peeps! Hold your ground and good for you for being positive!
  • wait_loss
    wait_loss Posts: 117 Member
    It might be a good thing to say in a post on FB, " I am doing this for me while this is definitely working for me I realize that it is not for everyone and those of my friends out there I still want you to be you. I am just so excited about how I am doing and feeling right now I just want to share with you my progress and how this is turning my life around."
    I think this would be a fare statement to make, your friends may find it more comfortable then.
    Many people find that when others start talking about healthy lifestyle that they are preaching at them. The old adage is true. not all things are right for all people, and you can lead a friend to a book of knowledge but you can't open the mind unless it wants to be open.
  • LorinaLynn
    LorinaLynn Posts: 13,247 Member
    There is sooooo much posted on FB that I don't like or agree with - mostly religion or politics - and I'll admit I sometimes find fitspo really annoying, but I can't imagine being so rude as to call someone out for it. :noway:

    If it's someone I otherwise like, I ignore the posts I might not like so much. If it's someone I don't like... wtf are they doing on my friends list?!
  • GretchenReine
    GretchenReine Posts: 1,374 Member
    Its total jealousy. You should post them twice a day now:)

    ^^^This! Daily and afternoon affirmations would be wonderful! Maybe you could start posting inspiration quotes you find online.

    I have had jealous friends...and...well...I got rid of them!!! Don't need the crap!

    Keep up the great work!!!
  • GretchenReine
    GretchenReine Posts: 1,374 Member
    By the way...I love your profile picture!!! When I'm sweaty after a great workout...I know that I've kicked butt!!! :laugh:
  • stevewynjones
    stevewynjones Posts: 1,052 Member
    How can YOUR daily updates offend someone? If it's their choice to be fat...then why should you being thin offend them?

    Think you need to dump this person and crack on!!!!

    good job btw....
  • fitmom_pam1976
    fitmom_pam1976 Posts: 1,192 Member
    Just keep doing what makes you happy! Just remember that there will always be haters!!!! I enjoy going to the gym and working out to try to get healthier and I have people who say that I am OBSESSED with the gym. I even had someone call me CRAZY!!!! I said .....well I would rather be CRAZY than LAZY!!! LOL!!!! Gotta love the HATERS.....even they need some love! :)
  • leahestey
    leahestey Posts: 124 Member
    I hate that! And they think it's all luck, too!
  • Frenchie28100
    Frenchie28100 Posts: 2
    You had me at......"I love ZUMBA"!
    Keep on the good work!
    Don't let her get to you and like many more have said: "delete her".
    Getting to a better place in life might have made her realize that she is going nowhere.
    Be happy, be fierce BUT still be kind.
    Good luck to you.:flowerforyou:
  • ladyark
    ladyark Posts: 1,101 Member
    Its too bad when some people aren't mature enough to be supportive when another takes charge of their life. Your change is perceived as threatening to their life and makes them see what they could be doing themselves.

    Thank goodness for the unfriend button.

    You are doing am awesome job, keep doing what you are doing and don't let anyone stop you!

    Feel free to friend me; we can never have too many cheerleaders!!

    Thanks i will add you :)
  • ladyark
    ladyark Posts: 1,101 Member
    For all my FB friends, family , aquaintences....it has been brought to my attention that apparently in my efforts to make MYSELF a healthier and happier person, my motivational posts , quotes , videos etc that i post on MY PAGE ( not yours ) are insulting to some people. I am in NO way insinuating that i am better than you because of the lifestyle i choose to live. I post positve things that inspire and motivate ME. I cannot control how you interpret such things. Therefore , that being said i will not stop posting on MY page these things nor will i apologize for trying to make myself a healthier happier person. If these things offend or upset any of you then i ask that you just block me or unfriend me. My feelings will not be hurt if it comes to that. We all have to do what we can to make our lives as happy and less stressful as we can. Life is hard enough as it is there is no time to sweat the small stuff.


    This is what i posted on FB after her message to me. It got a ton of great support responses. Thank you all for your support here and responses. I can never have too much support system in this journey. Thank you all for being there.
  • WanabeHotMama
    WanabeHotMama Posts: 102 Member
    Its total jealousy. You should post them twice a day now:)

    Haha too funny! Glad you took the high road, that is not someone you want bringing you down! We work too hard for that! :-)
  • MB_Positif
    MB_Positif Posts: 8,897 Member
    Oh my gosh! That's scary! Seriously, someone that jealous has issues! She's just pissed because your inspirational posts make her feel crappy about herself!
  • cntrygirlchange
    cntrygirlchange Posts: 3
    You need to understand that the spirit of offense is huge. She is offended. The next time she says/posts something - don't be offended. Love her, ask her if she will help keep you accountable. Ignore her insults. A soft word turns away wrath. Tell her this is the hardest thing you have ever done and the more people cheering you on with positive feedback the better. If she decides to join you. . . . Everybody wins.
  • etoiles_argentees
    etoiles_argentees Posts: 2,827 Member
    "Don't waste time on jealousy. Sometimes you're ahead, sometimes you're behind." Mary Schmich

    Will it matter in a year? 5 years?
    It's soooo not worth worrying about. :)
  • kennyparson
    kennyparson Posts: 1
    I can tell you this its not only women this happens to trust me. I actually think guys are worse even more evil, if that is possible lol. My wife an I started a very popular 90 day program on June 27 2010 and it literally changed our lives and waist line. It's the same old story my buddies were like dang dude what are you doing so I told them and some of them got the program and did it for a few weeks lost a few pounds and then stopped. Same story it was always an huge inconvenience or whatever, they called it dieting lol they just didn't get it. My wife and I pushed on and after almost 3 years we are living a dream. I lost over 90 lbs I was 260 when I started and she's lost 60 so far.

    Here's the deal all the people who I hung out with now avoid me if they see me and if somebody asks them you seen him lately some of them even say stuff like yeah he looks like a crack head or I think he has cancer, yeah real mean stuff. At first I wanted to smash their face in lol but now I have gotten used to my new body and I just go my way. Like some of have said my friend is my wife and we are all that matter but I just think that their are shallow people out there who will say these things. It's really a matter of people being responsible for themselves and we all know most people think taking a pill or getting gastric bypass is the way but its just temporary what all of us have done is permanent.

    On a side note: I didn't mention how hot my wife looks now lol I'm a lucky man! Keep the faith peeps and screw the jealous ones
  • jamieshrinking
    jamieshrinking Posts: 15
    De-friend her then. Unsupportive people need to get the boot.
  • Cherbear67
    Cherbear67 Posts: 245 Member
    keep doing it.. She is just jealous.. I do the same thing on Facebook every day.
  • RatherBeInTheShire
    RatherBeInTheShire Posts: 561 Member
    I've had several friends tell me how much of an inspiration I am when I post things like that! It's YOUR facebook page. Post whatever makes you happy. If they don't like it, they can delete you. It does sound A LOT like jealousy to me!
  • SteveJWatson
    SteveJWatson Posts: 1,225 Member
    I've known people post pictures of what they had for dinner on FB before now, and if that aint so dull its offensive, I dunno what is. Keep doing what you are doing OP.
  • DoriGaga
    DoriGaga Posts: 96
    There will always be people who take it as a personal insult when you do something to improve your life.

    Losing weight is a big one, but I have heard people lash out because someone else got engaged, or is pregnant, etc. It's petty, but there is always someone who has something mean to say!

    I try to keep my health and fitness stuff on here, mostly because I know here there are tons of people on the same journey who will be supportive, and also partly because I just don't post personal stuff on facebook because I like to avoid drama! The only reason I keep facebook is because I use it to connect with my clients, and to see my friends' pictures, other than that there is a lot I can live without on there!!

    Did you unfriend this person? I would. And if you feel her message was way out of line, you can report it to facebook, because they have protection against those things. But most of all, I would just feel a little sorry for her that she is so insecure that the only way she can build herself up is to tear you down!

    She can never take your success away from you though, remember that, you lost a significant amount of weight and you get to own that achievement forever, so be proud! Haters gonna hate ;)
  • carrieous
    carrieous Posts: 1,024 Member
    delete and block. shes toxic
  • JJordon
    JJordon Posts: 857 Member
    They're suffering from jealousy....misery....maybe leprosy, agony, tyranny, and a lot of other words that end in y.

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