Gained 50lbs due to stress, depression, abuse HELP ME!

AmysNewBeginning
AmysNewBeginning Posts: 244 Member
in Introduce Yourself
Hi ya'll. Since 2006 I have a gained 63.5 lbs. 50lbs of that probably in the past year. I suffer from depression, have gone thru
a lot of hurt lately and my choice of drug is food. I have been abused (verbally, but horribly) by one of best friends (she is gone now)
for about a year now. My father is losing his battle of 14 years to Parkinson's, my hubby has been laid off work for 3 months now, and
there is so much more.

I feel so yuck I hate going out of the house. I used to match everything from my nail color to my outfits and I run a daycare, and I don't
even wear makeup now. This is the heaviest I have ever been and I hate it. It makes the depression worse.

I don't feel good and I know its due to my weight. I feel ugly, due to my weight. I have been crapped on by so many people, I have
shut a lot of them out which is good, but very lonely too. I am in counseling to help me get through so of the tougher issues I've gone thru.

Last night was the final damn straw for me and this is going to sound silly, but maybe some can relate. I haven't shaved my legs
in like forever, and they needed hacked, lol, well I was so out of breath from doing that, and it was hard to get in positions to shave my flippin legs. SERIOUSLY, I just cried. I don't want this, but then depression sets in and the cycle starts over.

This is not a pity party at all, I JUST WANT TO BE HAPPY AGAIN. TO LOVE ME AGAIN THAT HAS BEEN BROKEN DOWN.

Any support would be great and it is totally needed. Thanks in advance and have a great day to you all! :drinker:

Replies

  • purplewench
    purplewench Posts: 5
    Didn't want to read and run, so just wanted to wish you all the very best with your new outlook on life. I self-medicate with food too and although I'm over 40 years old I STILL haven't learnt that eating doesn't make me feel better, the original problem's still there and I feel lousy for eating rubbish too!
    Hope you get to feel better about yourself really soon - set yourself lots of mini goals and reward yourself with non-food treats when you achieve them. I'm really looking forward to my facial once I've lost my first 1/2 stone!
    Good luck :)
  • AmysNewBeginning
    AmysNewBeginning Posts: 244 Member
    thank you so much, and good luck to you!!!!!!!!!!
  • harvo
    harvo Posts: 4,676 Member
    The big problem is certain foods make your mind think it is helping. Take it all day by day, get thru the tough days and celebrate good days. Eventually you will start having more good days than bad. I almost dies in 2005 and it has changed my outlook on life. Honestly, every day alive is a good day for me but I do have different degrees of good. Keep working and feel free to friend me if you like!
  • familyof9
    familyof9 Posts: 39
    No, you are not having a pity party. Please do not negate the effects of stress on your health. i also have gained weight and no matter what I do (healthy eating, exercise) I still have not dropped a pound. My family has watched this struggle and they all conclude that the high level of stress has dampened my work on dropping pounds.

    I do believe though that to give up would be allowing the bad to win. So I keep logging, I keep exercising, because if I were to stop, a bigger weight gain would ensue. Is the stress hormone Cortisol and our depression adding to this struggle? Science only recently is coming to this conclusion. Fight. Fight. Fight. This too shall soon pass and we will be stronger in the end.

    Welcome to this great journey of friendship and hard work. Be proud of yourself! Keep coming back every single day and especially be truthfull with yourself when things do not go well for a day or two. Don't quit!

    God bless :smile:
  • MSm1th
    MSm1th Posts: 3
    I too am guilty of finding comfort in food then beat myself up afterwards for doing so. I try not to buy foods I know I will indulge on. Getting out in the fresh air for a walk is always good for clearing the mind too. Good luck and try not to be too hard on yourself.
  • madlittleoldme
    madlittleoldme Posts: 19
    Hi can totaly relate to your story , last year using this site i lost 3stone then my depression came back along with a fear of leaving the house and some other mental health problems , well i have put on all 3 stone again since food was an outlet. now im back am fighting the depression and now im fighting the food thing . good luck on your journey i know you can do it:)
  • Dave198lbs
    Dave198lbs Posts: 8,810 Member
    try to think of the things you should be grateful for...

    you are alive

    you have a computer (may seem silly but many people dont)

    you have ?

    it all starts with how we look at things...

    good luck
  • annehart00
    annehart00 Posts: 42
    I am sorry for the misfortune you've experienced. I've also had similar problems in my life. If you're open to it, I recommend therapy. Also, I would recommend looking over your eating habits to determine whether any nutrients are missing. My understanding is that most of the B vitamins, Vitamin C, and Vitamin D can help control the stress hormone cortisol. Cortisol contributes to emotional eating when we are experiencing levels of high stress - a particular issue for people dealing with past abuse because they tend to produce too much. Over the last year I've dealt with binge eating and I've tried to use nutrients (with success) as my first line of defense against fatigue and emotional slumps.
  • Kashton2011
    Kashton2011 Posts: 324 Member
    Although I 've never suffered from depression I have quite often been the victim of verbal abuse (by complete strangers and family!) and I am also guilty of comfort eating. I know the struggle to keep on going when you are facing those types of things so to then add depression into the mix - OMG

    I would say, continue using the site and get support that way but to also start re-introducing the little things you used to do in the past i.e. wear a nail varnish even if it is just once or twice a week then build on this foundation.

    Consider this reaching out as your first step onto your new journey!
  • Shnarffles
    Shnarffles Posts: 13
    I know how you feel :)
    I have gained over 100lbs due to stress and depression but i just got up one day and decided I'm going to take my life back - don;t jump in at the deep end though - done that soo many times and failed ending up at square one
    Take it slow and make small changes at first
    My major thing I have to change is when you are stressed and feeling down getting motivated again or finding somethign to cheer yourself up that doesn;t have calories lol
    Good luck - feel free to add me if your wanting another supposrtive friend:)
    x
  • Webona293
    Webona293 Posts: 39 Member
    I totally get where you're coming from...I gained 30 pounds after I got married for some reason (animals get fatter in captivity???) and I was already almost 300 to begin with. But you've completed the first step to losing weight and that is you are sick and tired of being fat and tired and that's what is going to make you change. I too quit shaving because it was too much trouble and also wore sandals ALL the time because shoes with straps and laces were too much trouble as well. Hell even getting sandals on sometimes was rough I had to get my toddlers to put em on for me! Just start little by little and little by little the weight WILL come off. Just by tracking your food makes you twice as likely to succeed. Good Luck and I look forward to watching your progress!
  • givenshl
    givenshl Posts: 34
    Depression, I have had experience with but that was when I allowed others to have Control over my feelings. I had to snap out of that and take over my life. I practice Patience. Often that is a struggle all it's own because some days people can get me off track than I'm ready to chow down.

    Your post reads your Ready for change. Good Luck on your Journey!

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