Gained 50lbs due to stress, depression, abuse HELP ME!

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AmysNewBeginning
AmysNewBeginning Posts: 244 Member
in Motivation and Support
Hi ya'll. Since 2006 I have a gained 63.5 lbs. 50lbs of that probably in the past year. I suffer from depression, have gone thru
a lot of hurt lately and my choice of drug is food. I have been abused (verbally, but horribly) by one of best friends (she is gone now)
for about a year now. My father is losing his battle of 14 years to Parkinson's, my hubby has been laid off work for 3 months now, and
there is so much more.

I feel so yuck I hate going out of the house. I used to match everything from my nail color to my outfits and I run a daycare, and I don't
even wear makeup now. This is the heaviest I have ever been and I hate it. It makes the depression worse.

I don't feel good and I know its due to my weight. I feel ugly, due to my weight. I have been crapped on by so many people, I have
shut a lot of them out which is good, but very lonely too. I am in counseling to help me get through so of the tougher issues I've gone thru.

Last night was the final damn straw for me and this is going to sound silly, but maybe some can relate. I haven't shaved my legs
in like forever, and they needed hacked, lol, well I was so out of breath from doing that, and it was hard to get in positions to shave my flippin legs. SERIOUSLY, I just cried. I don't want this, but then depression sets in and the cycle starts over.

This is not a pity party at all, I JUST WANT TO BE HAPPY AGAIN. TO LOVE ME AGAIN THAT HAS BEEN BROKEN DOWN.

Any support would be great and it is totally needed. Thanks in advance and have a great day to you all! :drinker:

Replies

  • Saree1902
    Saree1902 Posts: 611 Member
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    Hello,

    I originally meant to send a longer reply but my lunch-break is rapidly coming to an end!

    In a nutshell, maybe add some of how you're feeling about your weight to your discussions with your therapist. It will help you unload and you might get to the bottom of why you're making the wrong food choices.

    Don't beat yourself up too much - you've been through a hell of a lot so cut yourself a bit of slack. As your username says, it's time for a new beginning so start from here.

    I can relate to the leg shaving thing. For me, it was putting on a pair of strappy sandals in front of someone I quite fancied at the time and having to stop for a breather!! I laugh now...mainly because I don't like this guy anymore! Not so easy to laugh at the time though

    Hope things turn around for you soon,

    S xx
  • CherishQuick
    CherishQuick Posts: 145
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    I too have been battling depression and frustration. I've just returned and am determined to move forward. Let's do it together. Add me as a friend.
  • apatheticLog
    apatheticLog Posts: 24 Member
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    amy its all good. ive been in the same boat, gained 60lbs, totally depressed...i dont even recognize myself anymore. but this weekend, something clicked. i decided i cant stuff my face anymore with food to soothe my soul. it only made me hate myself more, and my body a battlefield. i feel disgusting, totally uncomfortable in my skin. so instead of stuffing more food in my face, ive changed to incorporate better eating habits and exercises here and there. in a few days, i feel great. i feel HOPE. and you will too.

    you are NOT alone...!! you'll start feeling better too when good food replaces all the junk we've grown accustom to!

    xx
  • anahita84
    anahita84 Posts: 44
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    Hi Amy,

    You sound like a very strong person. I truly envy your strength (despite what you have gone through). I can only imagin how you must feel about your dad and family.

    However, deep down all that pain, I see/feel ALOT OF strenght that will pull you through this. You have shaved your legs, so that is the first start :) You are also HERE! This is a great beginning... you will get alot of support from amazing people here.

    Just take ONE day at a time, and try to look at food as a small pleasure rather than a 'shelter' to go to when you in pain. Maybe exchange food with a run or warm bath.

    This will not be over night, but as long as you see progress, you are WINNINIG!!

    If you like to add me I would LOVE to support you and also use your support in my journey!

    Lot's of love
  • amytxgal
    amytxgal Posts: 3 Member
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    Girl, I read your post and it was like I was reading something I wrote. I too have gained 60 pounds, work from home and my hubby and I are having issues. I do know this, starting today this can change. We have to stick together, we are women who are wearing this extra weight like a painful parka.
    Today I went out and bought some workout tapes, toning bands, reorganized my refridge, meditated and made a commitment to MYSELF, that today is a new day. Today I will start making positive choices in the foods I eat, the moves I make with my body and the thoughts I have. We have to do this for ourselves formost and to be a good example to our children and grandchildren. We can do this, we have hit the bottom so there is no where else to go than UP!
    Best of luck to you and message me anytime.

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