I hate this

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MaryJane_8810002
MaryJane_8810002 Posts: 2,082 Member
in Motivation and Support
This morning I was in great spirits and doing well and actually hoping for a great day. Then I was told that my brother got stabbed last night by a family member. I feel terrible because we just reconnected a few years ago and I rarely see him. I feel even worse that I can't visit him in the hospital since he is guarded by the cops. Now I just don't want to do anything today, I cancelled my therapy session and trip to the gym. I can't get myself to eat anything and i don't even want to take a walk around the block like I planned. I wish there was something I could do.

Replies

  • c3jaam
    c3jaam Posts: 77 Member
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    The best thing to do is go to your therapy session. It may help. Take a walk around the block. It is supposed to get your endorphins going. Pray for your brother and your family member, and I will do the same.
  • shelleyspots
    shelleyspots Posts: 89
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    Pray. and Pray some more. God is still with you and if He is for you, who can be against you? A walk around the block or a good sweat in the gym may be just what you need. Mentally, I feel better with exercise. Feel free to add me and check out Fit4Him.
  • MaryJane_8810002
    MaryJane_8810002 Posts: 2,082 Member
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    I am an Atheist.
  • osuhmiller
    osuhmiller Posts: 5 Member
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    Regardless of how you practice or what you believe in, you need to find ways to relax and perhaps a hobby that is exciting to you. Find a buddy that is willing to walk or workout, start a new project, join a new group. I have found when I am doing this with others, I am much more successful.
  • ljaroch
    ljaroch Posts: 64
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    MaryJane I'm so sorry to hear that happened. My brother and his family were stabbed during a break-in several years ago so as crazy as it is, I do know what you are feeling.

    My advice would to be to go to that therapy session, or if you just can't do it try to be around family today - that's what helped me. We are all here for you, please let us know how things are going with your brother. All my love is being sent your way!
  • LuckyLeprechaun
    LuckyLeprechaun Posts: 6,296 Member
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    Then prayer isn't for you.

    But I agree with the sentiment of keeping your therapy appointment. This may be the best thing you can do for yourself.

    I'm so sorry to hear of this terrible thing that happened to you.

    Be gentle with yourself. See your therapist. Talk to people who uplift you and comfort you. Seek out relaxation activities and settings that will soothe you.
    best wishes.....:flowerforyou:
  • kenazfehu
    kenazfehu Posts: 1,188 Member
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    I am really sorry to hear such an awful thing. Not feeling like doing anything is an appropriate response to grief, I think. Be gentle with yourself and ease back in as you can - maybe a walk, some yoga. They're good stress relief.
  • sicilysclover
    sicilysclover Posts: 173 Member
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    I am an Atheist.

    I was going to say "not sure how God is supposed to help after her brother got stabbed...a little intervention there would have been nice!" If you need to take today to yourself, take it. Allow yourself to be a little down, but make a promise that tomorrow, you will be up - at the gym, at therapy. One step at a time.
  • skullshank
    skullshank Posts: 4,323 Member
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    i dont know your brother, but i would be willing to bet that he would want you to NOT put your life on hold. you need to go relieve some of your stress at the gym. get in there and just KILL IT!!!!
    you have to make sure you take care of yourself during this difficult time.

    keep the momentum going and your chin up!! :)
  • anemoneprose
    anemoneprose Posts: 1,805 Member
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    I'm so sorry this happened.

    I think you might feel better (less impotent) if you make an effort to connect, even if it goes unfulfilled. Could you ask one of the cops to pass him a note?
  • fitsin10
    fitsin10 Posts: 141
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    go for your walk or to the gym, it will help you sort yourself thoughts out. Draggging around all day will make you more depressed!
  • rossi02
    rossi02 Posts: 549 Member
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    Even if you can't reach him, any chance you could have flowers, balloons, or something else sent so he knows that you are thinking of him? Maybe (if he's well enough) it would motivate him to call you and you could connect. I agree with trying to go for the walk and to therapy, but if you don't.. just focus on what you need to make it through this time. I'm very sorry.
  • fitsin10
    fitsin10 Posts: 141
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    wish your brother and you the very best!
  • bcattoes
    bcattoes Posts: 17,299 Member
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    If he is allowed mail or phone calls, call and/or deliver a card or flowers to show you care. And take care of yourself. Go to your therapy session, eat right, get some exercise. Making yourself sick is not going to help your brother. Keep yourself well and strong so that when you are allowed to see him you will be at your best.
  • soulfulsally
    soulfulsally Posts: 326
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    I am so sorry to hear about your brother. I understand why you'd want to cancel gym and therapy, but the gym can help get out your nervous energy and therapy can calm you too. Cut a deal with yourself; go to gym and therapy and then call the hospital again to check on your brother. I hope you can visit him soon.
  • MaryJane_8810002
    MaryJane_8810002 Posts: 2,082 Member
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    *Update*

    I was just told that he is still in the ICU with a nicked lung. I hope that he will recover soon. My biggest concern is the relationship he will now have with that relative.

    Thanks everyone.
  • amydee714
    amydee714 Posts: 232 Member
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    MaryJane,
    Maybe it's just me, but when my dad goes into the hospital and into ICU (and sadly its been happening alot lately) the thing that helps me is to go to the hospital.
    I understand that he is under guard and I am sure that is for the best, but you may get the chance to see him if only for a couple of minutes or so.

    I would never be able to exercise or go for a walk or anything if this was my brother (a day off is not going to kill you), but your therapy could be helpful. Or maybe find a good book to read. Something that will take your mind off of things for a little while. Call a good friend and talk to them.

    Just make sure not to let this one day derail you from the path you are on. As for the relationship with your brother and the person who stabbed him, just steady yourself to be there for him no matter what he chooses.

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