Yikes! Can’t stand to see myself in photos!

No, I am not a self-hating individual. I am actually very confident in myself and my abilities. I am simply making a very true statement. First let me say that I am new to MFP. I just signed up today. I also joined Weight Watchers over the weekend. At 250 pounds you might guess that I am not new to dieting; however, I am new to being on a diet plan or for that matter any structured diet period. I am 41 years old so I do have some time under my belt. I sometimes think (to a certain degree) that I have the opposite condition that a person who looks in the mirror thinks that they are fat. I look in the mirror and I see someone who has some weight to loose, but not someone who is obese. It’s strange, but it’s not until I see myself in a photograph compared to everyone else that I’m like “WHOA!”. I have always been the one in my family that eats healthy and exercises on a regular basis. So everybody knows that I am health concious. Up until now I feel like I’ve always kept myself in check and toned up. I never looked my size even though I am only 5’-4” tall, not in my eyes. When I say up until now…..I’ve have two babies in 3 years. I have 3 girls total. The oldest is 18yrs old and the youngest two are 2yrs old and 4 months old. I had them both by c-section. I nursed my 2yr old until she was 9months old. Now, my 4month old (who was nearly 10lbs at birth) doesn’t want to be nursed anymore. She stopped nursing about a month ago and I immediately gained 12lbs and a “pouch” at the base of my stomach which I have never had before. Earlier today I saw myself in a photograph that someone took last week and it really made me feel bad and almost sick to my stomach. I had already made the resolution over the weekend even before I saw the photo to take a more aggressive role in losing weight. That’s why I joined Weight Watchers. I want to be held accountable for my weight loss. I want to be a role model for my kids and I want to be here for them. I need to have longevity for them especially being an older mother of young children. Because I have always taught my children good eating habits, none of them are overweight (except for the 4 month old who has plenty of baby fat, ha ha). My husband who is 6’-4” and about 225lbs (think pro-basketball build) often jokes that I am in better shape than he is. Well, I am ready for it to show on the outside. And that means that I have to put in some work to get the results that I want. My plan is to lose 115lbs. My immediate goals are 2 to 3 pounds a week; however, I will take 1lb if that pound comes with hard work. A goal that I have is to become a free lifetime member of Weight Watchers after I reach my goal weight. I feel like I will need that constant accountability because my body is absolutely comfortable with being the weight that I am now even though I am not. Anyway I am glad to be here at MFP. I stumbled upon the website looking for a WW points to calorie conversion. Even though I am doing WW I will also be watching my calories to get an optimum result. I’ve been on the plan for 3 days now and I feel great. I like the balance that it creates with my eating and exercise habits. This website will be a great help and inspiration with keeping on track!