Yikes! Can’t stand to see myself in photos!

No, I am not a self-hating individual. I am actually very confident in myself and my abilities. I am simply making a very true statement. First let me say that I am new to MFP. I just signed up today. I also joined Weight Watchers over the weekend. At 250 pounds you might guess that I am not new to dieting; however, I am new to being on a diet plan or for that matter any structured diet period. I am 41 years old so I do have some time under my belt. I sometimes think (to a certain degree) that I have the opposite condition that a person who looks in the mirror thinks that they are fat. I look in the mirror and I see someone who has some weight to loose, but not someone who is obese. It’s strange, but it’s not until I see myself in a photograph compared to everyone else that I’m like “WHOA!”. I have always been the one in my family that eats healthy and exercises on a regular basis. So everybody knows that I am health concious. Up until now I feel like I’ve always kept myself in check and toned up. I never looked my size even though I am only 5’-4” tall, not in my eyes. When I say up until now…..I’ve have two babies in 3 years. I have 3 girls total. The oldest is 18yrs old and the youngest two are 2yrs old and 4 months old. I had them both by c-section. I nursed my 2yr old until she was 9months old. Now, my 4month old (who was nearly 10lbs at birth) doesn’t want to be nursed anymore. She stopped nursing about a month ago and I immediately gained 12lbs and a “pouch” at the base of my stomach which I have never had before. Earlier today I saw myself in a photograph that someone took last week and it really made me feel bad and almost sick to my stomach. I had already made the resolution over the weekend even before I saw the photo to take a more aggressive role in losing weight. That’s why I joined Weight Watchers. I want to be held accountable for my weight loss. I want to be a role model for my kids and I want to be here for them. I need to have longevity for them especially being an older mother of young children. Because I have always taught my children good eating habits, none of them are overweight (except for the 4 month old who has plenty of baby fat, ha ha). My husband who is 6’-4” and about 225lbs (think pro-basketball build) often jokes that I am in better shape than he is. Well, I am ready for it to show on the outside. And that means that I have to put in some work to get the results that I want. My plan is to lose 115lbs. My immediate goals are 2 to 3 pounds a week; however, I will take 1lb if that pound comes with hard work. A goal that I have is to become a free lifetime member of Weight Watchers after I reach my goal weight. I feel like I will need that constant accountability because my body is absolutely comfortable with being the weight that I am now even though I am not. Anyway I am glad to be here at MFP. I stumbled upon the website looking for a WW points to calorie conversion. Even though I am doing WW I will also be watching my calories to get an optimum result. I’ve been on the plan for 3 days now and I feel great. I like the balance that it creates with my eating and exercise habits. This website will be a great help and inspiration with keeping on track!

Replies

  • I know exactly what you mean. I hate photos being taken of me. I have this one friend who, no matter how fat or skinny I ma (we've been friends for 20 years) I always end up looking like jabba the hut. I don't know how she does it..even when I was 188 pounds and stiff wind could blow me over, I still looked fat in her pictures. I am just not a photogenic person.
    One of the things that got me dieting and on this site was some other friends took a pic of fat orca me...I knew i had gained form family stress and the like, but you have no idea how badly until you see a picture of yourself.

    now that I've lost weight though...still not allowing pictures to be taken of me cause no matter what I know i will always look hideous in them. The good things i, if I ever get unmotivated, I just have to pull out my drivers licence picture, cringe and get back working out agai cause I swear when it's time for a new on 2015.. I will NOT look like that again. :)
  • FlyByJuly
    FlyByJuly Posts: 564 Member
    It has been very recently that I realized something about myself.
    I can get dressed and ready to go out somewhere, and check myself (from all possible angles) in the mirror and give myself the seal of approval.
    Yet, seeing myself in photos taken at a gathering, or whatever, where I'm wearing the very outfit that I'd approved of in the mirror, I see myself as major hippo-ish. I disgust myself.
    Well, I've realized this...in the mirror, I was standing by myself. In the photos, I'm with other people. There is the comparison. I'm huge when standing next to other people. Simple as that. For me, I mean.
  • I really can relate with you... But that fact can only change with your effort =)
  • bamakmd
    bamakmd Posts: 34
    Oh gosh, I'm the same way. I look back at photos of myself when I was 130 pounds and am so mad that I'm 205 now. I'm trying to get back down to that or at least 140. I don't let anyone take pictures of me and if I take any, it's always from the chest up. I hate my body but I'm praying I will get back down to my healthy weight of 140.
  • Off10h8ed
    Off10h8ed Posts: 282 Member
    There are a lot of us 40 somethings in similar situations. Hang in there, it can be done!
  • I totally understand how you feel and welcome to MFP!
  • Delabud
    Delabud Posts: 10
    I posted my profile pic so that everytime I log on I know what i am aiming for . I am always the person behind the camera and can never believe that I actually look that way . I have been on here for two weeks now and have lost 6lbs so far . I never realised how many calories i was eating . Twice what i should have !!! When i turn sideways I look like I am pregnant !! At 50 thats not a good look lol!!!! I love the way everyone encourges you on here so if you need encourgement you can add me :)
  • DawnieB1977
    DawnieB1977 Posts: 4,248 Member
    I could've written your post this time last year! I had my 2nd child last May, and weighed about 225lbs when she was 8 weeks old and I started personal training. I had my children 22 months apart, so am similar to you. I cried when I saw photos of myself last year, I looked so awful.

    Now my daughter is 17 months and I finally like myself in photos! Well, most of the time! I weigh 171lbs now and can do up my UK size 12 (US8) trousers, but still have slight muffin top. I'm 35, and I bought them when I was 24/25!

    Feel free to add me. I log in religiously, so you can get an idea of what I eat/what exercise I do. If you look at my photos I have one where i'm holding my daughter as a small baby, so you can compare to the current ones.
  • zlek12
    zlek12 Posts: 2
    how do you keep yourself motivated on the day to day bases?
  • DawnieB1977
    DawnieB1977 Posts: 4,248 Member
    how do you keep yourself motivated on the day to day bases?

    Me? I like to look good, and once I have a goal I don't give up easily - I like a challenge! Plus I want to be a good example to my children.

    I was overweight as a teenager, and I lost loads of weight when I started university, and got down to a US size 6/8 (which for my frame is small) when I was in my early 20s. My weight crept up when I did teacher training, and then I lost weight for my wedding, but 2 pregnancies in 3 years made me gain a lot. I think because I know that I can be slim, I want to be. I kept my 'thin' clothes, so it is motivating to know I have them in my wardrobe to wear again!

    It helps that I really enjoy exercise and healthy eating too. Plus I teach at secondary school, and you know how mean kids can be! I don't want them directing nasty comments at me!
  • Thanks for the advice! Do whatever it takes to stay motivated. Its true, a picture is worth a thousand words.
  • I posted my profile pic so that everytime I log on I know what i am aiming for . I am always the person behind the camera and can never believe that I actually look that way . I have been on here for two weeks now and have lost 6lbs so far . I never realised how many calories i was eating . Twice what i should have !!! When i turn sideways I look like I am pregnant !! At 50 thats not a good look lol!!!! I love the way everyone encourges you on here so if you need encourgement you can add me :)


    I hope I will get up the courage to post a body shot one of these days. I can post a head shot all day long, LOL. Good for you though! Keep at it!
  • how do you keep yourself motivated on the day to day bases?


    I look at my beautiful kids.
  • an2734
    an2734 Posts: 7 Member
    I can relate to what you said.
    Good luck!
  • I could've written your post this time last year! I had my 2nd child last May, and weighed about 225lbs when she was 8 weeks old and I started personal training. I had my children 22 months apart, so am similar to you. I cried when I saw photos of myself last year, I looked so awful.

    Now my daughter is 17 months and I finally like myself in photos! Well, most of the time! I weigh 171lbs now and can do up my UK size 12 (US8) trousers, but still have slight muffin top. I'm 35, and I bought them when I was 24/25!

    Feel free to add me. I log in religiously, so you can get an idea of what I eat/what exercise I do. If you look at my photos I have one where i'm holding my daughter as a small baby, so you can compare to the current ones.


    Kudos to you! I know how hard it is with 2 young ones. Thanks for the inspiration, I'm looking forward to the day when I like what I see. Next year sounds good to me! LOL!
  • I think it's really important that you set small attainable goals so that you stick to the game. Good luck!
  • I posted my profile pic so that everytime I log on I know what i am aiming for . I am always the person behind the camera and can never believe that I actually look that way . I have been on here for two weeks now and have lost 6lbs so far . I never realised how many calories i was eating . Twice what i should have !!! When i turn sideways I look like I am pregnant !! At 50 thats not a good look lol!!!! I love the way everyone encourges you on here so if you need encourgement you can add me :)


    You made me laugh. Thank you! You're looking good and not a bit pregnant, LOL. Keep at it!
  • I think it's really important that you set small attainable goals so that you stick to the game. Good luck!


    You make a good point. I had to stop myself several times today from "calculating the future". Does anyone else do this. I'll pull out a calendar and start calculating how much I'll weigh at a given date say if I loose 3 pounds a week. My thing today was that on July 4th next year, I will have lost 114 lbs! I was envisioning myself on a beach in a bikini! I know I can't be the only one who does this! I have to admitt, eventhough I know I'm probably setting myself up for a failure, I can't stop doing it. Hopefully weight watchers weekly weigh in will help me focus on the week because I get way too ahead of myself as you can see!
  • Oh gosh, I'm the same way. I look back at photos of myself when I was 130 pounds and am so mad that I'm 205 now. I'm trying to get back down to that or at least 140. I don't let anyone take pictures of me and if I take any, it's always from the chest up. I hate my body but I'm praying I will get back down to my healthy weight of 140.

    Cant wait till I'm 205 again! It seems so far away right now. You're a pretty lady. I hope you meet your goal. Praying for you too!
  • I must agree I also look at photos of myself with a degree of chagrin. The only mirror in my apartment is the head-and-shoulders bathroom mirror, and hey, I look okay in that one! But it doesn't bother me to share my photos, because whether I like it or not, people see me. They see me as I walk up the stairs to the laundry, as I shop in the supermarket. Why shouldn't you guys see me, too? Still, I will admit it: I wish I was thinner. More than that, I wish I was fit.