TRULY supportive.

TeachTheGirl
TeachTheGirl Posts: 2,091 Member
edited January 2 in Motivation and Support
Are you TRULY supportive?

I went with some ladies from my gym to a restaurant the other morning and they noticed a family having breakfast. The woman was wearing ill-fitting clothing, her shirt riding up and exposing her midriff. Some of the comments made by our little group made me slightly ashamed. Admittedly, she DID have a muffin-top, but don't we all? Isn't that what we're working out for? Isn't that what we're supposed to be supporting each other for?

I also realized lately that a friend of mine is losing weight and although I am happy for her, I'm a little burnt out offering her support and encouragement. Do you ever feel like you could be a better source of support for your friends?

Spoons.

+ Are you judgmental?
+ Could you be more supportive?
+ Muffins? Delicious? Yes?

Replies

  • Linda_Darlene
    Linda_Darlene Posts: 453 Member
    I always feel that I should try to do better and be better, be kinder and not be a judge. To others and myself. I have my moments. And then I have other moments. I will always strive.

    Right this minute, I think I would prefer chocolate cake with cherries baked into it!
  • kuzurichan
    kuzurichan Posts: 134
    I always feel that I should try to do better and be better, be kinder and not be a judge. To others and myself. I have my moments. And then I have other moments. I will always strive.

    Right this minute, I think I would prefer chocolate cake with cherries baked into it!

    This - but I also like muffins. :D
  • IncessantRapture
    IncessantRapture Posts: 14
    I Love blueberry muffins and yes I am very judgemental....mostly in my mind...I do wish i could support everyone but a person can really only help themselves.
  • MsNewBooty83
    MsNewBooty83 Posts: 985 Member
    on mfp, yes i feel like i could be more of a supportive friend. i have under 70 and i still feel like its alot to keep up with, so i basically interact with the friends that are online and logging around the same times of day that i do.
    as for my 'real life' friends. i do offer support. i have made workout plans for a few and up until a few months ago i was always trying to encourage them to come with me to the gym and give it a go. ive also reccommended mfp to a million different people. lol.
    i think the ppl i know are sick of hearing about my slightly obsessive gym habits, lol. so mfp is a great place to talk out some of that stuff. lol

    muffins? do they have chocolate chips? haha
  • enid42
    enid42 Posts: 21 Member
    I subscribe to the viewpoint of no body snarking. Very simply, it's hurtful.

    We've all been hurt by someone's offhanded remark about us. I can still remember an ex-friend telling me that I shouldn't wear a shirt because I was getting chubbier and that was over a decade ago. I had lost around 25 pounds and then gained around 7 back, when she told me that.

    I feel like today's TMZ society has created even more criticism towards women's bodies and it's not a good thing. We are not objects to perfect, we're women with real lives, real problems and live in a society where it's actually difficult to be healthy. Hell, we even saw bodysnarking during the Olympics and these people are world class athletes. It also feeds self criticism. If we hear people say that kind of stuff, then we start thinking that way about ourselves.

    So, as a vow of solidarity to my sisters, I don't bodysnark and point it out as nicely as I can when I see it happening.

    That said, I do wish we could have a moratorium on tube tops and dresses. Elastic can only hold back so much gravity, folks!

    muffins= lemon poppyseed, mmmm
  • yoovie
    yoovie Posts: 17,121 Member
    Im judgmental and unsupportive.
  • odusgolp
    odusgolp Posts: 10,477 Member
    Im judgmental and unsupportive.

    And sooo pretty *pet pet pet*
  • vim_n_vigor
    vim_n_vigor Posts: 4,089 Member
    Im judgmental and unsupportive.

    But, do you like cupcakes?
  • withchaco
    withchaco Posts: 1,026 Member
    I subscribe to the viewpoint of no body snarking. Very simply, it's hurtful.
    Same. My family speaks Korean, and I don't make negative comments about other people's bodies even when we're 99.9% sure they don't understand Korean.

    I think I'm pretty good about not being judgmental about other people's bodies, or even unhealthy habits. Strangely, I CAN get judgmental about "healthy" behavior that are either very ineffective/ uneducated or downright unhealthy, though... e.g. starvation diet. Not in the "lol look at that idiot starving herself" sense, but more like "I guess it's a good thing that they're trying something, but that's REALLY not the way to do it!"... you get what I mean?
  • trackercasey76
    trackercasey76 Posts: 781 Member
    I am still over 300 pounds but have lost more than 100 so when I get judgmental I think maybe they are like me. Love me some muffins!!
  • heykaraoke
    heykaraoke Posts: 191 Member
    I have no friends IRL who are trying to lose weight, so I have no one to support in that way. I comment almost everything my mfp friends post, though. Positive comments only. Support is so important and I think everyone needs it every day :)

    I'll admit to sometimes being judgmental of people I am close to. I see them and their choices every day. It kills me when a person says day after day that they need to lose weight, while stuffing themselves full of chips and cookies. Yep, in my head, I get a little judgy. I would never say anything to their face, though, unless it's a positive remark. And I don't even think about strangers. I have no idea what's going on in their life. Who am I to make assumptions?

    Muffins - I don't trust them anymore, ever since that chocolate chip muffin turned out to be raisins and nuts. Same with cookies. Liars, all of them!

    I love a good doughnut, though. Mmmmm :D
  • yoovie
    yoovie Posts: 17,121 Member
    If I see your overweight *kitten* running around the neighborhood sweating like a beast and huffing and puffing, you're damn right I'll judge you.

    I'll judge you as someone to not mess with, someone who's owning their life and evolving right in front of me, someone who has beaten the twin demons of procrastination and laziness. I wont support you but I'll do my best to teach you how to support yourself. Cause Im sorry, but I have to support me and the people I love first.

    but you... yeah you go on with your business and know that one more chick out here has respect for you.
  • Nerdy_Rose
    Nerdy_Rose Posts: 1,277 Member
    Im judgmental and unsupportive.

    Me too!
  • LuckyLeprechaun
    LuckyLeprechaun Posts: 6,296 Member
    If I see your overweight *kitten* running around the neighborhood sweating like a beast and huffing and puffing, you're damn right I'll judge you.

    I'll judge you as someone to not mess with, someone who's owning their life and evolving right in front of me, someone who has beaten the twin demons of procrastination and laziness. I wont support you but I'll do my best to teach you how to support yourself. Cause Im sorry, but I have to support me and the people I love first.

    but you... yeah you go on with your business and know that one more chick out here has respect for you.

    awwww have a upvote :)
  • BluenoserChick
    BluenoserChick Posts: 106 Member
    Im judgmental and unsupportive.

    And sooo pretty *pet pet pet*

    HEHEH snerk
  • EatClean_WashUrNuts
    EatClean_WashUrNuts Posts: 1,590 Member
    Beyond supportive when in need.
    Judgmental, no...there is no place to pass judgement upon another

    Muffins, no....donuts...HELL YES
  • _Elemenopee_
    _Elemenopee_ Posts: 2,665 Member
    All of the above!
  • yoovie
    yoovie Posts: 17,121 Member
    Beyond supportive when in need.
    Judgmental, no...there is no place to pass negative unhelpful judgement upon another

    Muffins, no....donuts...HELL YES

    fixed yo post cher
  • Malozing0809
    Malozing0809 Posts: 71 Member
    I am supportive of my friends, but I can be judgemental of strangers. My boyfriend and I are trying to cut back on the judging by challenging each other to think of possible positive traits of the people we see as we go around town.

    I second the doughnut comment!
  • Malozing0809
    Malozing0809 Posts: 71 Member
    If I see your overweight *kitten* running around the neighborhood sweating like a beast and huffing and puffing, you're damn right I'll judge you.

    I'll judge you as someone to not mess with, someone who's owning their life and evolving right in front of me, someone who has beaten the twin demons of procrastination and laziness. I wont support you but I'll do my best to teach you how to support yourself. Cause Im sorry, but I have to support me and the people I love first.

    but you... yeah you go on with your business and know that one more chick out here has respect for you.

    I saw someone like that at night. I had to stop her and say that she was doing a great job. 'cause at that time of night I would have said "screw it. I can run tomorrow."
  • laceyfowler
    laceyfowler Posts: 127 Member
    I am supportive of my friends, but I can be judgemental of strangers. My boyfriend and I are trying to cut back on the judging by challenging each other to think of possible positive traits of the people we see as we go around town.

    I second the doughnut comment!

    I LOVE that you and your boyfriend are actively working together on being more positive! That's wonderful! :-)
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