Significant Others and Holidays

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changing_4_me
changing_4_me Posts: 9 Member
in Chit-Chat
I'm not sure if there are many others out there but I have a fiance that works in the oil field. So with that said he is gone a lot. Probably more than us both we like. We go day by day now knowing when his next day off or when he will be able to come home. With the holidays coming up we aren't even sure if he will be off to celebrate them. So with that being said, I was wondering how would you feel knowing that the person you love might not be there to celebrate Thanksgiving, Christmas or Even New Years with you because they might have to work.

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  • SeaRunner26
    SeaRunner26 Posts: 5,143 Member
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    I'm very sorry to hear that. Fortunately I don't have to deal with my SO being gone for the holidays, but I can imagine. I suppose if I were in your position, I would just celebrate when they returned. I know that can't be practical all the time but I don't know how else I would handle it.
  • Justkeepswimmin
    Justkeepswimmin Posts: 777 Member
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    Well it isn't ideal...hopefully he'll change careers over the next couple of years? I will say we haven't had a holiday trip to family or vacation where the phone and lap top and work calls were not involved, often at very inconvienient times. I think you should have either a back up plan or something set up that can occur with our without him so you're not alone...and then celebrate again when he returns should he not be there.

    My husband has told me stories of working in the oil fields ...he's an IT progject manager now. With the job he had it's definately not something he could physically do forever.
  • wolverine66
    wolverine66 Posts: 3,780 Member
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    I've been the person who worked on the holiday.

    i did the best i could with the time i had, woke up earlier for Christmas, or celebrated later. My wife would go to my mom's or my aunt's with our son and celebrate with family. I hated missing out, and let her know, but I didn't dwell on it, because I didn't want her to feel guilty about doing things with family or having a good time without me.

    I truly hope that it was worse for me than it was for her.
  • corn63
    corn63 Posts: 1,580 Member
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    He could be there every day with you because he doesn't have a job. It's not ideal, but he's working. Make the best of it. Have your holidays when you can.
  • TinaCleg
    TinaCleg Posts: 87
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    It's hard, but I try to remember and be thankful my husband has a job even if it is out of state and away from home. Some are not as fortunate.
  • becs_91
    becs_91 Posts: 180 Member
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    My fiance is in the military. Over the past 3 years we've had 1 Thanksgiving together, 0 Christmases. No easy answer for you... it sucks, but you deal with it. As someone else said, have your own holidays together when you can (for example, if he's gone until December 28, make your Christmas on the 28th).
  • n0ob
    n0ob Posts: 2,390 Member
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    My dad is a directional driller. Nothing really more to add, but I understand what you're going through. From the time I was a teenager I had to be more of a companion to my mom at times when he'd be gone for long times.
  • Mojamabo
    Mojamabo Posts: 31 Member
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    I am an oilfield wife too. And have been for 12years. I have had to learn over the years that holidays don't have to happen on the holiday itself. We learned to plan for it and be ready then the closest day he had off we would celebrate. It is an adjustment and after we were married i became a nurse which further complicated things. My advice is to just take advantage of the times you do have together and try hard not to take each ither for granted.
  • DamnImASexyBitch
    DamnImASexyBitch Posts: 740 Member
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    My husband has a stressfull job where he works all the time, holiday or not and mostly 12 hour days starting at midnight. It sucks. We try to make the best of it, and spend time whenever we can even if it means celebrating earlier, or later.
  • NordenJenn
    NordenJenn Posts: 82
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    I am a military wife. so here's my advice:

    1.) Be thankful he has a job, many people don't.
    2.) Be thankful that he isn't deployed because if he is then you don't know when or, God forbid, IF you'll ever see him again
    3.) Make up your own holidays! They're about being with family anyways, so celebrate when you're together
  • Ruger2506
    Ruger2506 Posts: 309 Member
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    I'm not sure if there are many others out there but I have a fiance that works in the oil field. So with that said he is gone a lot. Probably more than us both we like. We go day by day now knowing when his next day off or when he will be able to come home. With the holidays coming up we aren't even sure if he will be off to celebrate them. So with that being said, I was wondering how would you feel knowing that the person you love might not be there to celebrate Thanksgiving, Christmas or Even New Years with you because they might have to work.

    Going through that ourselves. I sucks, I know. However it could be worse. He could be unemployed and poor. In this economy I would just try to accept it and work with it.

    Remember. Dec 25th is just a date. Christmas can be celebrated on any date.
  • changing_4_me
    changing_4_me Posts: 9 Member
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    Thank you all for the great advice. You are all correct, be thankful he has a job and he can provide for us. I'm sure we will make the best of it. He always knows how to surprise me. :)
  • roberts1013
    roberts1013 Posts: 103 Member
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    My husband has been deployed since July and wont be here for any of the holidays. We just accept that its his job and do the best we can. I will have an easier time sticking to my diet over Thanksgiving. Take lots of pictures of Christmas and I have NO idea about new years. I am just glad he has a job and we make due
  • going2befit4ever
    going2befit4ever Posts: 225 Member
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    I always worked the holidays and my hubby looked after the children we celebrated all together as soon as we were all were together either earlier or later and they also celebrated on the day, the extra money was really good and really helpful at times and it helps focus on whats important about the holiday for the children
  • mispotatohead
    mispotatohead Posts: 42 Member
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    I am a military wife. so here's my advice:

    1.) Be thankful he has a job, many people don't.
    2.) Be thankful that he isn't deployed because if he is then you don't know when or, God forbid, IF you'll ever see him again
    3.) Make up your own holidays! They're about being with family anyways, so celebrate when you're together

    Well said and thanks to your husband for serving and to both of you for the sacrifice. You have a wonderful attitude!
  • gwmedicgod
    gwmedicgod Posts: 180 Member
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    As a Paramedic working rotating 24 hr shifts.... if you are scheduled you either have to trade shifts ( if you can find someone willing) or celebrate when you are off... the last 3 yrs I have had to work all 3 ( thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Years... ) it is the nature of the EMS Beast...
  • gdrmuzak
    gdrmuzak Posts: 103 Member
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    Being a divorced dad with 3 sons, our agreement is every other holiday. So celebrating for my sons & I since the divorce has been as early as Dec 16 so they had a week to play with their stuff b4 going with mom to this last Cmas we celebrated on Jan 2nd because of our new traditions and sports schedu le that didn't allow us to celebrate it any earlier.

    I don't have family any closer than 650 miles so when my boys aren't with me, I usually get invited by friends to come over for Cmas Eve parties and dinner on the day.

    Another thing to do is to go volunteer and serve/deliver meals.

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