two monkeys walk into a bar...

PECANS IN THE CEMETERY

On the outskirts of a small town, there was a big, old pecan tree just inside the
cemetery fence. One day, two boys filled up a bucketful of nuts and sat
down by the tree, out of sight, and began dividing the nuts.

'One for you, one for me. One for you, one for me,' said one boy. Several
dropped and rolled down toward the fence.

Another boy came riding along the road on his bicycle. As he passed, he thought he heard voices
from inside the cemetery. He slowed down to investigate. Sure enough, he
heard, 'One for you, one for me. One for you, one for me.'

Panic-stricken, he just knew what it was. He jumped back on his
bike and rode off. Just around the bend he met an old man with a cane,
hobbling along.

'Come here quick,' said the boy, 'you won't believe what I heard!
Satan and the Lord are down at the cemetery dividing up the souls.'

The man said, 'Beat it kid, can't you see it's hard for me to walk.'
When the boy insisted though, the man hobbled slowly to the cemetery.

Standing by the fence they heard , 'One for you, one for me. One for you, one for me. '

The old man whispered, 'Boy, you've been tellin' me the truth.
Let's see if we can see the Lord.'

Shaking with fear, they peered through the fence, yet were still unable to see anything.
The old man and the boy gripped the wrought iron bars of the fence tighter and
tighter as they tried to get a glimpse of the Lord.

At last they heard, 'One for you, one for me. That's all. Now let's go get those nuts
by the fence and we'll be done.'

They say the old man made it back to town a full 5 minutes ahead of the kid on the bike.

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