failed again

The only time you fail is when you give up. If you fall down nine times get up nine... never stay down.

Doing this is very hard - take it one day at a time. When I started I aimed for 1 healthy day a week. I kept track on a calendar with smiley faces. Initially had 4 smileys a month. When I could do that consistently, started 2 days a week... eventually worked up to six, i always have one day a week where I don't think about it. Its taken 4 years but I've lost 266 lbs and still have more to go... but I will do it. YOU CAN TO! Determine what you want, start slow, but stick with it!

It is hard. You have good days and you have bad days, but it is important to just keep trying.
keep your head up and love yourself.
K

Take it one step at a time
1. What is your vision? Where do you want to be in a year?
2. Set short term goals as stepping stones to your vision
Where do you see yourself in 3 months?
What can you do this week to get you closer to your vision?
3. Focus on the positive. Instead of "I didn't" think in terms of "I did"
Good luck with your journey!

Maybe you're trying TOO hard.

Think of it like remodeling a house, while you're living in it. You have to tackle one room at a time... you can't gut the whole thing and expect to be able to live a normal life.

Remodel your breakfast first. Once you're used to eating a healthy breakfast, remodel your lunch. Then your dinner. And snacks. Add a little bit more activity, even if it's just going for a walk around the block. Take a camera and snap pictures of the fall leaves. Then add more exercise when you're comfortable with adding more. Don't overwhelm yourself by doing everything at once. Make small, sustainable changes.

Maybe you're trying TOO hard.

Think of it like remodeling a house, while you're living in it. You have to tackle one room at a time... you can't gut the whole thing and expect to be able to live a normal life.

Remodel your breakfast first. Once you're used to eating a healthy breakfast, remodel your lunch. Then your dinner. And snacks. Add a little bit more activity, even if it's just going for a walk around the block. Take a camera and snap pictures of the fall leaves. Then add more exercise when you're comfortable with adding more. Don't overwhelm yourself by doing everything at once. Make small, sustainable changes.

This is some excellent advise. You aren't giving up, we all have blips. As long as you keep going and keep trying and never give up. I've tried all sorts of things, intermittent fasting, low carb etc. But I never last very long. But I don't say that I failed.... I just keep on trying. And it's slow hard work but I am over 40lbs down this year, I can do this and so can you! x

Take it one day at a time and if that is too much, take it one meal at a time. You have to really want it bad...make sure you are doing exercise you can stick with (you like it and enjoy doing it...if not, find one you do like and can enjoy; try new things), make sure you are eating enough calories...too few calories will surely seem too difficult to stick with and cause you to feel like you can't continue to do it, so you quit...make sure you are eating enough that it is a sustainable amount for you. I'm not sure what calories MFP put you on, but you may want to re-check some calculations, maybe it isn't enough for where you are right now...make sure to eat lots of healthy foods - fresh fruits & vegetables, whole grains, lean meats, low fat dairy, nuts/seeds. These will give you that full/satisfied feeling after eating where processed foods leaving you wanting more and you've already used up your calories.

http://www.fitnessfrog.com/calculators/tdee-calculator.html

http://www.cordianet.com/calculator.htm

http://calorieline.com/tools/tdee

http://scoobysworkshop.com/calorie-calculator/

And lastly here is a thread on BMR and TDEE which will also help with understanding the calories you body needs (in case this is the problem)

Good Luck! I know you can do it!!!

Me too. That failure is exactly why I had the gastric sleeve bariatric surgery July 2011. With that tool I am finally succeeding at weight loss. It's only a tool, no magic bullett, I still have to eat healthy and exercise. It's a lifestyle change for sure or the weight will come back. But I will tell you it's the best thing I've ever done for myself.

I consider myself (to steal someone else's phrase) a success-in-the-making. I've lost a lot, but i still have a long way to go. And there are several things that have helped me:

- It's a marathon, not a sprint.
- I will ALWAYS have to watch what I eat. For the rest of my life. (this was a huge one for me!)
- make small changes at any given time. don't try to just get rid of bad habits - replace them with healthier habits.
- i WILL stray from my plan, have a cheat day, make bad decisions, splurge, whatever you want to call it. It's ok. Stop beating myself up, and get back on my plan NOW - not tomorrow morning, not Monday, not the 1st of the month, not the 1st of the new year - RIGHT NOW.
- set small goals so it doesn't seem so overwhelming


Feel free to friend me!

You are definitely not alone! I went through the same thing for 18 years and even considered trying to find some sort of counseling at one time. I just couldn't figure out WHY I kept failing! Then I finally had an aha moment... Every diet I ever tried involved extreme measure - pills or shakes, low carb, etc. And I took a hard look at some of the folks in my life who are able to stay trim and realized the difference. They still eat junk from time to time but mostly they eat well and stay active. So that became my goal. I've continued to eat the foods I like instead of cutting out pizza and chocolate because they're "bad". I'm determined to be active for at least 45 minutes 5 days a week. And I'm giving myself a break if I do happen to go overboard instead of just throwing in the towel like I used to.

This is a lifelong deal and therefore every change you make, you should ask yourself "could I do this for years?". I think what happens for many folks is that once they decide to lose the weight and get healthy, they're so gung ho with revamping their diet and exercising like a fiend that it's exhausting and only lasts until that exhaustion gets the better of them. So like others suggested, start small with daily, weekly, or even monthly goals. If you've been overweight that long, does it really matter if it takes a few years to get the weight off? Take me as an example. I've been at this for almost 3 years and it'll probably take at least another year to get to goal. Could I have lost all the weight in 1-2 years? Sure, probably but it would've taken a more extreme approach and I know now from experience that I would probably have given up way before now. This is the longest I've ever stuck with a healthy lifestyle so I could care less how long it takes me to get there!

Also, just because you have one bad day now and then doesn't mean you've completely failed. So you had a bad day...move on and get right back on track the next day. THAT is more important and more worthwhile than giving up.

Good luck to you!

I dunno if this will help since it is kind of the opposite of the 'one day at a time' philosophy.

I was feeling really down on myself like this. And then one day I decided to put myself on a mini-bootcamp.

I told myself for one month I was going to do everything that I can to make myself healthier. I tracked everything I ate, tried new recipes, upped my fruit and veg, started exercising (just walking, nothing overly ambitious), took vitamins, got early nights, got on top of moisturising, drank more water, cut out fast food. I still budgeted my calories for a small 75 cal treat every night to stop me feeling deprived, but that was it. My thought process was that at the end of the month, even if I hadn't lost weight I could look at myself in the mirror and feel good that I was really really trying. That I was giving my body the absolute best chance I could of being healthy. And that I had stuck to it for a whole month - ie, I wasn't a failure!

Well tomorrow will be one month and as it happens I have lost weight, I feel fitter and best of all, I feel proud of myself! I did it. No cheating. I am taking care of myself properly. This weekend is my husband's birthday and we had planned on having a weekend of 'celebrating' (ie. eating crap). But now we will probably just have one take out and be good the rest of the time because we are both so motivated. I am starting couch to 5k this week. My husband did this with me and it's made a huge difference to his appearance, his sugar levels (type 1 diabetes) and his snoring!

It was manageable because the end was always in sight and I tried hard to focus on being healthy rather than being on a diet. I also made lots of checklists for myself which always feels good.

Making the change NOW instead of setting a start date was what made it possible for me. For round 1 of MFP when I lost 15 pounds (gained back 10 of it over the summer) and has worked during round 2 of MFP.

I realized I had gained back 10 pounds in September, and instead of making a plan, instead of making a start-date, I put some shoes on and went for a walk. When I came back, I suddenly craved a healthy dinner instead of the fried chicken sitting in my fridge. I've lost those 10 pounds in a month and a half, am running a 5k on Saturday, and I feel great.

Do I slip up? OF COURSE I DO. I would be inhuman if I didn't. Do I feel like crap afterwards? You bet, but instead of continuously making poor choices that sabotage my efforts, I change my behavior RIGHT THEN. And so far, it works. Quite well actually.

Keep at it! Good luck!

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