Just looking for some support :-(

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So its been 2 weeks & ive gotten use to being back at the gym, but today was a bit different. I did my 32 minute warm up on the treadmil then i went on to the 30minute circuit. I love planet fitness for the mix of 10 steps & 10 machines. Well when i got to #10 i felt worn out, when i got to #16 i thought it was sweat, but by #17, i realized it was tears. I am not one to show my emotions like that in public so it suprised me. I wasnt crying because i find the gym to be hard, but it was because I finally reached the point of so tired of being sick & tired, my frustration was making itself seen & i wasnt embarrassed. Im fighting with myself to get fit. Sure ive tip toed at working out, here and there, do just enough to maintain what i lost nearly a year ago but at this point bs'ing my self is no longer an option. Sure Ive gone from 347 to my current 306, im on the back door of kissing 299 & when i do, im going to kiss the 300's good-bye for good. I think its hard for me because there is always something pulling at me....work, school, kids, relationship & family. I seem to be everyones rock & my kids, who are young, do try to be supportive but in the end i feel like who really can understand what im going through & I need more of a support system.

Can someone please tell me what do you do to keep yourself motivated?
Outside of MFP, how do you find support?

Replies

  • tigtigs
    tigtigs Posts: 52
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    I have lots of running partners...and an amazing husband! Even though he doesn't do what I do or half the time eat what I eat, he is very supportive!! But I also love MFP...use it as much or as little as you would like! Feel free to add me...I am on every day and will be happy to encourage you along the way! :-)

    P.s. the changes you see and feel in yourself will keep you motivated...MFP only says I have lost 17 pounds but thats because I just joined a few months ago...I have lost 100 pounds in this journey...it is possible, you can do it!! :-)
  • recee96
    recee96 Posts: 224 Member
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    I understand! It will be a rough road at times...as you may want to give up. But I look at how far I've come, not how much I have to go. You lost 47 pounds!!! That's awesome!!!

    Get back in that gym with a smile because you have accomplished what a lot of people wish they could do!

    Do you listen to music while you workout? Upbeat music and just staying around positivity will also help. Feel free to add me. I will encourage you along the way :)
  • LeslieC1970
    Options
    Hi there. Sorry you have been feeling this way.
    I sometimes get very frustrated at the gym as well. There are days that I cannot go as hard or as long as others and it does get to you a bit. I also sometimes struggle with my grip so I end up having to end an exercise before the muscle is exhausted. I am lucky in that I have a few things I do to motivate myself:
    1. Great music - sounds silly but having upbeat music or TVs to watch really help me.
    2. Try and celebrate my successes no matter how small.
    3. Remind myself why I am doing this for me.

    I also log daily on MFP so that I can see my progress and feel proud about what I am accomplishing.

    Hope this helps. Good luck!
  • bethany598
    bethany598 Posts: 12 Member
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    My husband definitely supports me in my weight loss, but I find my biggest motivation in my MFP friends. There are alot of really great people on here. My husband and my family are great and always offer compliments, but there isn't anything that compares to people who know exactly what I'm going through...counting calories, trying to get exercise in, failing some days and killing it on others! Many on here go through the same things I do on a daily basis. Build up your friends list and remember you are doing this for yourself! You need to take control and make this happen. No one else can do it for you, but we can definitely offer you some support along the way. Feel free to add me! :happy:
  • CoachReddy
    CoachReddy Posts: 3,949 Member
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    this is what i do for a living. i bring people together in groups so that they can motivate each other and keep themselves accountable. doing it by yourself is just so damn hard. I feel your pain. I would always start and give up until I found a group to keep me going. I bought in, and now I'm on the other end leading those groups - so now I REALLY have to keep up! :P

    but essentially it all comes down to really knowing WHY you want the change. WHY do you want to get healthy? WHY did you start? and what about your life will be BETTER when you succeed?

    Can you answer those questions CLEARLY without having to think about it? If not - start thinking, and write it down. Know EXACTLY and SPECIFICALLY why you started. And what you have to gain.
  • Louie1956
    Louie1956 Posts: 25 Member
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    What an awesome post - - - - it made me cry!!! I have not been at quite in your spot but my story is the same "out of contol". I KNOW the feeling of thinking FINALLY I can do this. My life has been working thru a weight issue - - with so many failures. I love this web site. It is my tool for success. I work it EVERY DAY!! Support from outside - not so much. Disappointing when expecting it and it is NOT there - - - soooooooooo - - - I do what I am doing now. Log on to MFP and find a post to identify with - - - THANKS.

    As I said it is an AWESOME message. I will think of you often and wishing you success, success and more success until you shed tears cause you have reached your goal!!!

    Hugs
    LindaLou
  • txukc
    txukc Posts: 12 Member
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    Whilst I may not have the exact things to say that may help, I think one of the best motivators is not always others, but yourself. Yes, it is cliched and typical, but when you can see what a special person you are, and that those unique qualities are worth treasuring and protecting (by working in your health), it will help with the necessary extra boost that is needed to go where you want.

    I say this as a child of a woman who has some of the most amazing qualties out there, but always takes care of everyone but herself. With her health in a state, the only thing that has seemed to make any difference with her is when she FINALLY started doing things for her. Not even just health things, but social and other wise.

    I don't know you, but can tell by your user pic that I like you! Working towards growing voter registration shows you are strong minded and caring. Know that a complete stranger across an ocean is rooting for you as YOU, even though they don't know your whole story

    I am just being terribly soppy at this point, I'm sorry. I just don't like to see people down. I hope you're able to find the extra kick jump start *hugs* add me if you would like, am looking for more MFP support myself :)
  • lporter229
    lporter229 Posts: 4,907 Member
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    First of all, congrats on your weight loss so far. It's a huge accomplishment that you should not belittle. I may not be the best person to answer this because I do not have children so I can't relate entirely to your situation. But I do know that it can be hard to stay focused on fitness when you don't have support from those around you and when they seem to constantly be making demands for your time. Just remind yourself that by doing this for yourself, you are also doing this for your family. Your kids deserve to have a happy and healthy mom, but more importantly, YOU deserve to be happy and healthy. Focus on your goals and remember how good it feels to make accomplishments, however small they may be. If you are running out of motivation, maybe you are setting the bar too high. When the challenge seems insurmountable, I always remind myself that something is better than nothing, and set my goal just a little bit lower. 9 out of 10 times, I end up going the whole way anyway, because getting out there is often the hardest part. Just focus on how you will feel when you are done!
  • alpine1994
    alpine1994 Posts: 1,915 Member
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    Honestly, it's people like you who keep me motivated. I don't have kids and I still manage to find excuses to not work out. My brothers are a lot younger than me so it wasn't long ago that I saw my mom running around trying to bring one to hockey, another to a friend's house, get dinner together, help someone with homework, etc. all after a full day of work! She still managed to squeeze time in to get to the gym and it always baffled me. People like you are so amazing, and I remind myself that when I feel like I don't have enough time to work out, I don't know NOTHIN' about not having enough time!!

    I agree with other people's comments about relying on your MFP friends. Although we all have different lifestyles, we are all going through the same thing and know about all the hurdles. It is helpful to have the support of my boyfriend, and a friend recently told me I was her inspiration to get back into shape (!!!). Take the motivation from anywhere you can get it!
  • carebear7951
    carebear7951 Posts: 404 Member
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    You're right, it is terribly hard. And sometimes you just gotta cry to let that out. Then you get on #11 or whatever number you go to. Because you REMEMBER what it felt like to weigh 347 and you imagine what it will feel like to weigh ____ (whatever your goal is). ((HUGS)) Hang in there. It is worth it.
  • 1julietax
    1julietax Posts: 117 Member
    Options
    So its been 2 weeks & ive gotten use to being back at the gym, but today was a bit different. I did my 32 minute warm up on the treadmil then i went on to the 30minute circuit. I love planet fitness for the mix of 10 steps & 10 machines. Well when i got to #10 i felt worn out, when i got to #16 i thought it was sweat, but by #17, i realized it was tears. I am not one to show my emotions like that in public so it suprised me. I wasnt crying because i find the gym to be hard, but it was because I finally reached the point of so tired of being sick & tired, my frustration was making itself seen & i wasnt embarrassed. Im fighting with myself to get fit. Sure ive tip toed at working out, here and there, do just enough to maintain what i lost nearly a year ago but at this point bs'ing my self is no longer an option. Sure Ive gone from 347 to my current 306, im on the back door of kissing 299 & when i do, im going to kiss the 300's good-bye for good. I think its hard for me because there is always something pulling at me....work, school, kids, relationship & family. I seem to be everyones rock & my kids, who are young, do try to be supportive but in the end i feel like who really can understand what im going through & I need more of a support system.

    Can someone please tell me what do you do to keep yourself motivated?
    Outside of MFP, how do you find support?

    I think we ALL have been there!! I get so frustrated cause in my life, I am so good at everything else. I'm considered to be an expert in my chosen field, I volunteer with several non profits but for the life of my I can't get my weight under control! It's like my body is my enemy sometime. So what keeps me motivated? I want to be healthy! I want to live a long and healthy life. There is so much amazing stuff to do out there in the world, that I wans to be a part of. Pretty selflish I know, but that's what is keeping me going. I'm fairly new here but the people on here are really great!! So anytime you need help/support, we are here....Feel free to add me as a friend. I'll support you.
  • beautifulneah
    beautifulneah Posts: 32 Member
    Options
    this is what i do for a living. i bring people together in groups so that they can motivate each other and keep themselves accountable. doing it by yourself is just so damn hard. I feel your pain. I would always start and give up until I found a group to keep me going. I bought in, and now I'm on the other end leading those groups - so now I REALLY have to keep up! :P

    but essentially it all comes down to really knowing WHY you want the change. WHY do you want to get healthy? WHY did you start? and what about your life will be BETTER when you succeed?

    Can you answer those questions CLEARLY without having to think about it? If not - start thinking, and write it down. Know EXACTLY and SPECIFICALLY why you started. And what you have to gain.



    YesIcan answer those questions very clearly and I know this is a difficult journey. Today just made me realize, No More excuses nor hinderance to becoming healthy :-)
  • beautifulneah
    beautifulneah Posts: 32 Member
    Options
    I have lots of running partners...and an amazing husband! Even though he doesn't do what I do or half the time eat what I eat, he is very supportive!! But I also love MFP...use it as much or as little as you would like! Feel free to add me...I am on every day and will be happy to encourage you along the way! :-)

    P.s. the changes you see and feel in yourself will keep you motivated...MFP only says I have lost 17 pounds but thats because I just joined a few months ago...I have lost 100 pounds in this journey...it is possible, you can do it!! :-)

    Thanks alot and congrats on your 100 pound loss that is great and truly an inspiration to me
  • californiagirl2012
    californiagirl2012 Posts: 2,625 Member
    Options
    So its been 2 weeks & ive gotten use to being back at the gym, but today was a bit different. I did my 32 minute warm up on the treadmil then i went on to the 30minute circuit. I love planet fitness for the mix of 10 steps & 10 machines. Well when i got to #10 i felt worn out, when i got to #16 i thought it was sweat, but by #17, i realized it was tears. I am not one to show my emotions like that in public so it suprised me. I wasnt crying because i find the gym to be hard, but it was because I finally reached the point of so tired of being sick & tired, my frustration was making itself seen & i wasnt embarrassed. Im fighting with myself to get fit. Sure ive tip toed at working out, here and there, do just enough to maintain what i lost nearly a year ago but at this point bs'ing my self is no longer an option. Sure Ive gone from 347 to my current 306, im on the back door of kissing 299 & when i do, im going to kiss the 300's good-bye for good. I think its hard for me because there is always something pulling at me....work, school, kids, relationship & family. I seem to be everyones rock & my kids, who are young, do try to be supportive but in the end i feel like who really can understand what im going through & I need more of a support system.

    Can someone please tell me what do you do to keep yourself motivated?
    Outside of MFP, how do you find support?

    For me it was riding one victory to the next, keeping it on the forefront of my mind along with my end goal, keeping my EYE ON THE PRIZE AT ALL TIME. I posted up pictures, statues, clothing, all over the house and in my car. Pushing out all negative thoughts and keeping my mind on the progress I've made and the progress I wanted. Single minded focus and push all else out of my way, KNOWING WHAT I WANT, KNOWING I AM GOING TO GET IT. It worked. I've spent 15 years failing and it's hard for an aging woman like myself, but if I can do this at age 50 and above, ANYONE CAN!

    Your body loses weight in chunks, not linear. I have found that you can do everything right and your weight loss seems to plateau but if you are patient and keep exercising and eating at a deficit (however slight) you will lose it, it will suddenly "whoosh". There are so many variables for the scale; water retention, digestion, hormones, allergies, sodium, carbs, water intake, DOMS, inflammation, the list goes on. People mistakenly think they lose or gain weight when they eat more or less because of these fluctuations.

    Losing weight requires tremendous patience. You will not lose it when you want it or where you want it. The body does its thing. Some apparent plateaus can last a month or so. You cannot make it happen faster. You must focus on two things; calories and exercise. Nothing else matters. Scales and metrics don't matter. The day in and day out grind of exercise and calories are all that matters. It is not very exciting until things fall into place. You get your victories and you ride one victory to the next.

    The scale is a trend tool. The scale is good but put it away and only check once a week and only use it as a trend tool. It will fluctuate, it does not matter. Take front side and back progress pictures at least once a month. You will see differences that the metrics won't tell you and it's that little bit of NSV that will keep you going until the next victory.
  • beautifulneah
    beautifulneah Posts: 32 Member
    Options
    Whilst I may not have the exact things to say that may help, I think one of the best motivators is not always others, but yourself. Yes, it is cliched and typical, but when you can see what a special person you are, and that those unique qualities are worth treasuring and protecting (by working in your health), it will help with the necessary extra boost that is needed to go where you want.

    I say this as a child of a woman who has some of the most amazing qualties out there, but always takes care of everyone but herself. With her health in a state, the only thing that has seemed to make any difference with her is when she FINALLY started doing things for her. Not even just health things, but social and other wise.

    I don't know you, but can tell by your user pic that I like you! Working towards growing voter registration shows you are strong minded and caring. Know that a complete stranger across an ocean is rooting for you as YOU, even though they don't know your whole story

    I am just being terribly soppy at this point, I'm sorry. I just don't like to see people down. I hope you're able to find the extra kick jump start *hugs* add me if you would like, am looking for more MFP support myself :)


    Thank you so much. Even though you thought you didnt know the right thing to say, it was the exact thing i needed to hear. I am very guilty of putting my needs last because ensuring that everyone else is ok seems to be all Ive known. Now its as if im retrainning myself & learning to value my worth by being determine to get healthy & because I want my children to see that if i can reach my goal, they could do the same in life
  • mercymarque
    Options
    Try to get a buddy. I have a great partner/cousin who is also part of mfp. She was the one who put me on to this... there is also fb, black women losing weight. My son works out and tells me when he sees results in my which keeps me going. Set goals for yourself. Take measurements, when the scale isn't moving measurements are so important. Good luck on ur journey. U can do this... I also go to Planet Fitness.... I love it.
  • rhinesb
    rhinesb Posts: 204 Member
    Options
    My husband definitely supports me in my weight loss, but I find my biggest motivation in my MFP friends. There are alot of really great people on here. My husband and my family are great and always offer compliments, but there isn't anything that compares to people who know exactly what I'm going through...counting calories, trying to get exercise in, failing some days and killing it on others! Many on here go through the same things I do on a daily basis. Build up your friends list and remember you are doing this for yourself! You need to take control and make this happen. No one else can do it for you, but we can definitely offer you some support along the way. Feel free to add me! :happy:
    ditto. I've never been so happy to lose weight. Last time I lost weight no one was there to cheer me on. I lost 30 lbs and never saw a change in pants size. Size 18 at 230 and size 18 at 200. I just couldn't keep it up. Hubby kept tempting me with bad foods, I was always busy and I quit. I gained back 9 lbs and I came to this site. I started this site at 209 Sept 19. Four weeks later I'm at 200 again but this time I have finally lost a pants size all with the help of my MFP friends. They gave me the support and someone cheering me on. Cheer other and others cheer you on. I am so happy I found some MFP friends because it has made all the difference in the world. I am happy to continue on. Every morning I get on here and go to the success section and read through them. Those people did it and so can I. It gives me the energy to keep going. EVERY SINGLE DAY I LOOK AT THOSE.
  • amydee714
    amydee714 Posts: 232 Member
    Options
    So its been 2 weeks & ive gotten use to being back at the gym, but today was a bit different. I did my 32 minute warm up on the treadmil then i went on to the 30minute circuit. I love planet fitness for the mix of 10 steps & 10 machines. Well when i got to #10 i felt worn out, when i got to #16 i thought it was sweat, but by #17, i realized it was tears. I am not one to show my emotions like that in public so it suprised me. I wasnt crying because i find the gym to be hard, but it was because I finally reached the point of so tired of being sick & tired, my frustration was making itself seen & i wasnt embarrassed. Im fighting with myself to get fit. Sure ive tip toed at working out, here and there, do just enough to maintain what i lost nearly a year ago but at this point bs'ing my self is no longer an option. Sure Ive gone from 347 to my current 306, im on the back door of kissing 299 & when i do, im going to kiss the 300's good-bye for good. I think its hard for me because there is always something pulling at me....work, school, kids, relationship & family. I seem to be everyones rock & my kids, who are young, do try to be supportive but in the end i feel like who really can understand what im going through & I need more of a support system.

    Can someone please tell me what do you do to keep yourself motivated?
    Outside of MFP, how do you find support?

    I am fortunate to have a strong support system of friends, family, coworkers and my 2 beautiful daughters. Since I know that not everyone is so lucky I make it a point to be a support for anyone else who needs it.
    I started out at 350 pounds. I am now 256. Friend me and we can travel the rest of our journey together.
  • sirabe
    sirabe Posts: 294 Member
    Options
    For motivation, I keep a physical goal not really a weight goal in mind. Focus on my health more so than my weight. Find something you have always wanted to do. For me, running goals. and focus. I actually keep a map of my dream marathon framed next to my bed so it is the first thing I see in the morning.

    My husband is very supportive. He even goes for runs with me and pushes me past my limits.

    watch this video, it has really made a difference in how I look at goals and focus:

    http://youtu.be/GLu-qYS92lw
  • LCSoulkat
    LCSoulkat Posts: 89 Member
    Options
    All nice stories, different that others but with the same comon objective, to start feeling better about ourselves.

    What made YOU deicide this was it...Enough...I want to change my life around?

    For me, I always pushed others in bettering themselves, motivated them and supported them...I never thought about myself....sure..I knew I had gained weight and was overweight but as much as I was being a motivator for others, I just couldn't do it for myself.

    My son was 316 lbs at 16 and today, he looks like a personal trainer....working out for past 3 years...he's down to 178 and well shaped...I can remember him asking me to join him at the gym...but went in one ear and out the other....I knew that inside me, I always wanted to go trianing at a gym but I was too shy, thinking everyone would look at me.....

    Well, one month ago, I decided that yes, I wanted to change my life around. Something snapped in me, and, as my son, who introduced me to MFP asked me once again to join him at the gym, well, I went for it...and man, do I WISH now that I had done it yearssssssssss ago.

    Lost 13 lbs in just one month, I see muscles taking shape on my body and encourages me to just keep going full steam ahead.

    Now, it's MY TIME, For ME! as YOU should do it for YOURSELF :)

    Best success to you and everyone else in here who undertook this journey to better themselves ;)