Mom got Lap Band...

ashley2586
ashley2586 Posts: 50 Member
in Motivation and Support
I am not against lap band...except for when it comes to her. I have been trying to lose weight the right way by eating healthy and working out(ok, not so much on working out too much, but still) and have been doing pretty well, slowly but surely. I am 26 yrs old with roughly 100 lbs to lose and had health problems since birth(2 open heart surgeries before 21). I guess I just thought we could do this life change together...I feel she is taking the easy way out and will be leaving me in the dust. She knows I am opposed to this and continues to tell me that it is just a tool to help her....and maybe it is just a tool... but it doesnt ease the hurt of feeling left behind.

Replies

  • PeaceCorpsKat
    PeaceCorpsKat Posts: 335 Member
    My mom had a gastric bypass a few years ago. When I started losing weight she wanted me to have one too and I refused. It took her a while to not be mad at me about it. She felt like i was betraying her and looking down on her decision. It wasn't that at all, I was afraid of major surgery and wanted to do it more naturally.

    The thing is, having it was her decision, going the natural route was mine. It's okay for people to want to do it differently. We don't all need to be the same.

    Make sure to be supportive to your mother. It's a big decision, and recovering from surgery and changing your lifestyle is difficult, obviously you know that. I have recently had a lot of major abdominal surgery, completely unrelated to weight, and I know how challenging it is.

    She is your mother, stay supportive, but if you don't agree with the decision you don't have to. But she is your mother, and she is going through a lot, so model healthy behavior, and be there for her.

    And, no one says she will lose faster/better/longer. I am living proof doing it the natural way can be just as successful.

    Good luck.
  • withchaco
    withchaco Posts: 1,026 Member
    I think your feeling of being left behind will be replaced by a sense of triumph (not over your mom, but over life and all of its challenges) as you make more progress in your own journey. In the meantime, hang in there and try to be supportive, both to yourself and your mom.

    Like PeaceCorpsKat said, lap band does not guarantee faster weight loss. My personal opinion is that it just makes things harder, at least physically. You have to teach yourself to eat right ANYWAY; you're just adding the burden of surgery recovery on top of all the challenges of losing weight and changing your lifestyle.

    A family friend of mine had a bariatric surgery years ago, but stretched her stomach out and surpassed her pre-surgery weight. A few months ago, however, she started controlling her portions though, and is starting to see good progress.
  • shellywoodhead
    shellywoodhead Posts: 10 Member
    If your mum is in the right headspace to lose weight and has chosen the band as her tool, I would be celebrating that ... After all at the end of the day it's a personal choice. She is older than you and possibly worried about the potential effects of carrying around too much excess weight. The band is a tool and does not replace healthy eating ... What it does do is provide a little backup to help you feel satisfied for longer. Each to their own ... Pleased you feel you can achieve success by diet/exercise alone, maybe just ask your mum to explain what it is that is motivating her to make her choice.

Categories