getting depressed.

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GreyEyes21
GreyEyes21 Posts: 241 Member
in Motivation and Support
I really need support right now. Yesterday I ate out and knew I shouldnt have :( Today I did well in the beginning, but then I started being bad and ate a terrible dinner and dessert. :( I feel horrible and I dont want to spiral down hill. I know tomorrow I'm going to weigh more because I have heavier food in my system and I know I can lose it quickly but I will still feel depressed and will probably eat horrible again :..( but I dont want to.... but i am already getting depressed about it and am already subconsciously planning a crappy meal for tomorrow..... I'm freaking out and need help and support!!!!! My mind is trying to rationalize that as long as I only eat crap till tomorrow then monday will be like a fresh start... I have always seen monday as a new beginning and I need to see every day as a new beginning but I dont know how to change my thought process. I have been stuck at 70lbs lost for 1.5 years now because I keep eating when I know I can do better because I lost the 70lbs in the first place -_-

Replies

  • Girl_du_jour
    Girl_du_jour Posts: 46 Member
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    You don't have to lose it altogether because you slipped up!

    You just need to refocus. I am similarly a sometime-proponent of things like 'I'll start on Monday' - but DON'T! START NOW!

    Your weight loss IS happening and it IS possible and this IS the time it will happen! That's why you won't start on Monday - you will start NOW, because this is different from the other times before. This time, you are in control and you decide what happens.

    I think it's healthy to have a little binge now and again, but I know I was doing it too much. It's like I just 'let' it happen to me. But now I'm on MFP and I really want to change, I won't let the old habits come back, and you don't have to either. Remember you are full of amazing potential and that you ARE losing weight. It's not easy and it's not fast, but one slip-up doesn't have to be the end.

    Remember, if you keep doing what you always did you'll get what you always got. You don't have to wait til Monday to start again - sneak in a headstart!
  • Carnivorekat
    Carnivorekat Posts: 370 Member
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    sounds like you are getting into a bit of a dither - best advice would be to not weigh yourself too often, every day we have weight fluctuations so best to only weigh once a week - the next thing is rather than waiting until Monday try to start today draw a line under what has happened, and move forward don't beat yourself up about the last couple of bad meals when you know the majority of the time you can do it, think about the times you have really done well and try to follow what you did then - we all go through bad times I suffer with depression and when I am in a bad time I know I will eat much more than I should but when I manage to get my head in the right place, I really go for it, and eventually I am managing 2 steps forward and 1 step back - the weight is coming back off - just remember life sometimes gets in the way and it is only a very small part of your whole life
  • Debby0904
    Debby0904 Posts: 151 Member
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    Honestly, no one can motivate you but you. You've done well so far but have to keep asking yourself how bad do you want it. Recognizing you do this is a huge step. What had helped me is when I asked myself what is more important, the temporary gratification (so we think) of something unhealthy to eat or looking and feeling awesome. Also, when you want to eat unclean, rather than eat it, go for a walk or do something active you love. And never eat in front of the tv. Find your inner strength and you will be awesome!
  • BelindaDuvessa
    BelindaDuvessa Posts: 1,014 Member
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    Go look at my Diary. Does that look like the best week to you? I'm either under eating, or eating a whole bunch of crap that I don't need to be. I'm not trying to lose weight right now, I'm pregnant, ffs! But my food choices as of late haven't been that awesome. It happens. Guess what I'm doing tomorrow to fix it? I'm coming home from work (at work right now) and putting together a meal to put in the crock pot. Hubby has already promised Breakfast in the morning. I will probably be over calories tomorrow, but that's ok. At least I will be over in decently healthy foods instead of the 2 day long pizza binge that I've been on. And considering the deficits I had last week, I could use being a little bit over in healthy foods.

    What I'm trying to say is, you aren't alone. We all go through our bad days. We are only human, after all. What you have to try to do, though, is shove past that bad day and make better choices tomorrow.

    To quote your own page "Myself. When I do well I feel like I am an inspiration to others.".....so go do something inspirational and get back on track! You know you can do it!
  • MichelleLaree13
    MichelleLaree13 Posts: 865 Member
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    I would ssit down right now and plan out the times you are going to eat and what you are going to eat.
    0600 2 cups coffee with a TBS of creamer in each 70
    0800 banana 100, 1/2 cup oatmeal 150, cinnamon, 1 cup almond milk 30
    1000 200 grams carrot sticks 70 tea/water
    1200 2 cups soup 200, hawiian roll 100
    300 apple 80, string cheese 80, tea/water
    600 200 grams lettuce 34, 1/2 cup beans 110, 1/4 cup salsa 20, 1/4 cup low fat sour cream 90, 1/4 cup cheese 110 =364
    Total 1244
  • JesterMFP
    JesterMFP Posts: 3,596 Member
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    Two things that have helped me in these kinds of situations. Firstly, stop looking at food as "good" or "bad". Try to remove the emotional/judgemental aspect when you think about whet you've eaten. It's just food. Even eating a lot of food isn't inherently wrong. You have your goals, and perhaps what you've eaten has exceeded them for the day. Don't beat yourself up about it, just do better next time. When you tell yourself you've "been bad" and "eaten horribly", then you start beating yourself up, feeling guilty, feeling like a failure and perhaps, if this is your pattern, eating more as a result. You're feeling depressed, so you're planning a "crappy meal" for tomorrow. It honestly sounds like you're stuck in a bit of a negative cycle with your emotions, and that's what's keeping you stuck at 70lbs. There are many reasons (physiological and psychological) why we resist dieting. It doesn't make you a bad person.

    Secondly, this kind of follows on, but try to stop saying "tomorrow". If you want get back on track, do it now. Again, I think it would really help if you could stop polarising it as "good" and "bad"; you've been "bad", so you'll carry on for a little while until the new day comes and you'll somehow get back the motivation to be "good".

    Last night, I had a Chinese takeaway that I wasn't really exepecting to have. It wasn't planned, and I didn't really have room in my calorie count for it. For a moment, I had the panic, I had the dilemma over whether to eat it or not. I chose to eat it, and I enjoyed it. I suffered a little with indigestion, but that's another story. I really enjoyed it. Today, it crossed my mind to cut my calories, and do lots of exercise, to make up for yesterday and, if I'm honest, kind of as punishment. But, no. I'm going to have my normal calorie goal, and eat lots of good, nutritious foods. I enjoyed my meal last night and I didn't do anything wrong. Physically, I don't feel 100% this morning, and I'm going to make up for that today. I'm still going to exercise, but because I want to go for a run, not to burn off those calories. I've had the mindset that you seem to have at the moment, but you know what? I had enough of it! I got sick of feeling guilty about eating and enjoying food.

    One last thought - I notice on your profile your comment about eating a low calorie diet under orders from your doctor. If that's still the case, perhaps (just a suggestion) you might consider going back to discuss this with your doctor, if you haven't already? I, obviously, don't know the details of your medical history or their reasons for putting you on a lower calorie diet, but for a lot of people, consistently under-eating will lead to bingeing and feeling out of control with food. I imagine that your doctor would find it useful to know how much you're struggling at the moment.
  • KarenontheBeach
    KarenontheBeach Posts: 4
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    First of all... I really relate to this post.

    You can't look at one or two bad meals as failure. It happens to everyone. Maybe there is some other reason for the self sabotage? I struggle with that also. I lost 40 pounds from my highest before joining here. It's been a long process... lots of trial and error. You and your body have to get used to your new lifestyle and food relationship. Those old thoughts and habits are always going to continue to try and creep into your thinking. It's normal. Just don't give up. Try to stop looking at a bad meal or a bad day as a failure. You want to have more good days than bad. Also, I saw this somewhere recently... don't see it as a set back, see it as a come back. You have to make a come back when these things happen. Not starting the next day, starting with the next thing you eat.

    Also, is there some reason this keeps happening? Is it simply poor planning? It sounds kind of like you do well at the beginning of the week and then get totally depressed at slipping during the weekend. I get tired of cooking myself. Are you preparing enough food and stocking enough healthy snacks to keep from getting into this situation in the first place? I would look at that too.

    Weight loss takes time and guts. It's hard. I don't know you... so this may or may not work for you. But sometimes... you do just have to take a break. Don't go nuts, but you could give yourself a break. Set a time limit. Like, maybe for 1 week you will eat 1 thing each day that you have been missing? Just realize that when you start back up again, there's all kinds of things going on. Food that is nutritionally void of anything good for us just makes us have more cravings. You have to tell yourself that. Reboot by eating good food. Not just counting calories. Get protein at EVERY meal whenever possible. Also, I totally don't do the default thing on here. I eat way more fat in my diet than recommended, but it all comes from nuts for the most part. I love almonds and pecans. I stay close to my calorie limit, but I seem to go way over on fat all the time. And it hasn't mattered. I still lose. That's also how I lost the first 40. And the best thing is, I'm finding food I really enjoy that is healthy for me. Sometimes it is really simple stuff. Like low sodium turkey from the deli with some pecans. That is my favorite, "I'm in a hurry" breakfast.

    Also, looking at your goal weight... it seems really low. You look great in your profile pic. Is that a current pic? 116 seems like you would be too skinny. One more thing... maybe you shouldn't weigh everyday. For me that's impossible. I weigh EVERY day, wishing and hoping to see impossible amounts of weight loss. But... if you could manage to not weigh every day, it might help. I'm thinking you are really dreading the scale, like your confirmation that you did bad and you can feel guilty cuz it's confirmed. Skip the self-loathing. It's not helping you. Look at what you've accomplished and let it motivate you to do well TODAY. Not Monday. Fresh start now! You can do it!
  • GreyEyes21
    GreyEyes21 Posts: 241 Member
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    First of all thanks everyone for the help!! I have never posted a motivation and support topic and I am glad I did. I am going to try to get back on target tomorrow and hope and pray for a good day. I probably ate 2500 calories today -_- eek! but I am just going to see it as a day that I ate what I want and be happy for the day to eat things I enjoy. It was a great fun day but I need to have fun eating healthier. :) I am happy, I will succeed. That is what I need to tell myself and start believing!
    First of all... I really relate to this post.

    You can't look at one or two bad meals as failure. It happens to everyone. Maybe there is some other reason for the self sabotage? I struggle with that also. I lost 40 pounds from my highest before joining here. It's been a long process... lots of trial and error. You and your body have to get used to your new lifestyle and food relationship. Those old thoughts and habits are always going to continue to try and creep into your thinking. It's normal. Just don't give up. Try to stop looking at a bad meal or a bad day as a failure. You want to have more good days than bad. Also, I saw this somewhere recently... don't see it as a set back, see it as a come back. You have to make a come back when these things happen. Not starting the next day, starting with the next thing you eat.

    Also, is there some reason this keeps happening? Is it simply poor planning? It sounds kind of like you do well at the beginning of the week and then get totally depressed at slipping during the weekend. I get tired of cooking myself. Are you preparing enough food and stocking enough healthy snacks to keep from getting into this situation in the first place? I would look at that too.

    Weight loss takes time and guts. It's hard. I don't know you... so this may or may not work for you. But sometimes... you do just have to take a break. Don't go nuts, but you could give yourself a break. Set a time limit. Like, maybe for 1 week you will eat 1 thing each day that you have been missing? Just realize that when you start back up again, there's all kinds of things going on. Food that is nutritionally void of anything good for us just makes us have more cravings. You have to tell yourself that. Reboot by eating good food. Not just counting calories. Get protein at EVERY meal whenever possible. Also, I totally don't do the default thing on here. I eat way more fat in my diet than recommended, but it all comes from nuts for the most part. I love almonds and pecans. I stay close to my calorie limit, but I seem to go way over on fat all the time. And it hasn't mattered. I still lose. That's also how I lost the first 40. And the best thing is, I'm finding food I really enjoy that is healthy for me. Sometimes it is really simple stuff. Like low sodium turkey from the deli with some pecans. That is my favorite, "I'm in a hurry" breakfast.

    Also, looking at your goal weight... it seems really low. You look great in your profile pic. Is that a current pic? 116 seems like you would be too skinny. One more thing... maybe you shouldn't weigh everyday. For me that's impossible. I weigh EVERY day, wishing and hoping to see impossible amounts of weight loss. But... if you could manage to not weigh every day, it might help. I'm thinking you are really dreading the scale, like your confirmation that you did bad and you can feel guilty cuz it's confirmed. Skip the self-loathing. It's not helping you. Look at what you've accomplished and let it motivate you to do well TODAY. Not Monday. Fresh start now! You can do it!

    To reply to this. I cant eat unhealthy pretty much ever or I will go nuts lol. :( Thats why I get into trouble. This time it was because friends came over, and I did have healthy snacks around I just WANTED the unhealthy stuff :( I get into trouble when I'm with others because I want to eat what they eat. I dont want to feel left out, out of place. Also I am over weight I have 34% body fat. That is a pic of my but my face looks good, just have alot of fat that needs to go away. I dont want to be 116 I just want to go down to 116 and then when I maintain I will gain about 15lbs like I always do. So i will be about 130ish. muscle hopefully :D Thanks for the encouragement!! I am going to try to get back on track tomorrow morning. :)
  • buckleten
    buckleten Posts: 205 Member
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    I really feel for you, I know where you are coming from! I am an all or nothing kind of person it seems, and if I go astray food wise even a little bit I can't stop myself from thinking "oh well, today is ruined, start over tomorrow" and heading for the biscuit tin! Being on here is helpful, even just reading about other peoples' successes make me realise I can do this, and you can too. So, draw a line under it and move on, you have lost an amazing amount already!

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