THE FEAR.

eeesposito
eeesposito Posts: 4
edited September 20 in Introduce Yourself
So I've been on a mission the past three weeks. For as long I can remember I've been depressed, and overweight. When I turned 20 years old I decided that I didn't want to go on the way I was, so I got help. For depression. Unfortunately I went from being on the border of overweight to OVERWEIGHT during my first year on medication. When I started feeling better, I realized that I was in control of my own life now. And so a few weeks ago, when I turned 23, I decided there were no more excuses for not going after something I want. So I completely changed my lifestyle. Completely different diet, 6 days a week in the gym. And I've been enjoying it.

But now that I'm driven towards this more than I've ever been driven towards anything before in my life, THE FEAR is setting in. The fear of change or failure. The voice in the back of my head saying: I've promised myself this before, what makes this time so different? Do I really have the will power to keep this up? - I love food! What if my natural physique is larger and I can't reach the goal that I'm striving for, and I feel like it's all for nothing? Is is possible for just anyone to be slender? I can suppress these thoughts, but I don't know how to make them go away. Being as I just joined this network, and I'm too embarrassed to tell these things to my friends , I figured this would be an appropriate time to introduce myself. So, hello.

Replies

  • Sunsh1ne
    Sunsh1ne Posts: 879 Member
    Welcome to MFP! When you talk about the fear, I know exactly what you mean. I deal with it by reminding myself that size is just a bunch of numbers, and the one I'm focusing on is my BMI. I'm in this to be healthy, and it sounds like you are, too. Good for you for taking control of your own health! As long as you keep your goal in mind you CAN do this, and as long as you take every day as its own baby step forward, you WILL do this.
  • rsalgado
    rsalgado Posts: 163 Member
    Trust me, I know all of those feelings. I have tried and failed and tried and failed. What I've learned this time around is that it really is within my control. Take it little by little. Realize that you might gain one or two weeks, but then remember that you have the power to lose it again. Don't let that defeat take over. Also, don't try to restrict yourself too much at first. If you completely deprive yourself of all that you love, it's only a matter of time before you take refuge in the forbidden fruit. Throughout my life I have promised myself many things and I have lost and gained, and lost and gained. This is the longest that I have ever kept it up (a bit over a year now). The only thing I can tell you about that is that over a year ago when I started this, something within me just knew that this was it. I had changed. I wish you all the best!
  • DeeDeeLHF
    DeeDeeLHF Posts: 2,301 Member
    Congratulations on beginning! :drinker: Changing your life is not something that happens overnight and I think it might help for you to come to some peace with yourself. Forgive yourself. What is past is past and gone. What is ahead is all new, untouched. like a field of new snow (it is not hard right now for me to picture snow...we have lots of it.).

    It sounds like you have come to that really good place. That place that makes the difference between failure and success. You have the drive and determination, so just do it. Remember, as you embark on this journey allow yourself the space to sometimes fail without completely bailing. A single failure does not doom you to being overweight for the rest of your lift.

    This is a journey and taking the steps, big and small is all you need to do in order to get there .

    Take courage! Tell those voices to go to ****! Choose to believe in yourself that this time is the right time! Things are different now. You are more mature and more in control!:flowerforyou: :flowerforyou:

    Best of Luck!!!

    DD
  • amy_marie
    amy_marie Posts: 130 Member
    I totally know what you are feeling. It is scary to start something like this, especially with that fear that you may not succeed. But you are taking a huge step by changing your lifestyle and working out 6 days a week! I wish I did that lol I have only been on this site for a short while, but it has helped me so much because I actually have to account for the food I eat. Hopefully that will help you too. Good luck! :happy:
  • FluffnStuff
    FluffnStuff Posts: 387
    I totally understand you!
    My FEAR... success. For years I have let the fear of succeeding at weight loss hold me back.
    I HATE being the center of attention, I HATE everyone making a big deal out of me "looking good."
    Backwards....maybe... but it's this little ingrained thing in me.
    I am having to take baby steps and not THINK about the end result.
    I am doing this for health and I will have to cope with my fears somehow as I go along.....

    You are in a good place....
  • itsbella
    itsbella Posts: 1,101 Member
    I see things differently, any attempt I make towards wellness is a huge success...not a failure. One can only fail at not trying...as long as you are trying to gain better health by DOING great things...you have no choice but to succeed. Tell those pesty, insecure voices to shut the fck up!
  • SherryLynn82
    SherryLynn82 Posts: 69 Member
    I think almost everyone here knows about THE FEAR! I know I've tried many diets and never stuck to them for very long. This is even more extreme in a way because it's a lifestyle change, not just a short term filler. I'm very, very scared that I'll just give up or I won't be able to get where I want to.
  • eeesposito
    eeesposito Posts: 4
    Well thank you everyone. I'm amazed at how inspirational everyone is here. Thank you for the welcome.
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