Child custody issues

Being a male and was married to a female that was not "mentally straight enough" to raise kids, I went to court to get custody in a time where that was not a common thing for males. In the end it all worked out. You don't need to hear that story as that is not what you asked. But here is what I learned during the process.
1- It is a slow process.
2- For every action on your part, there is a reaction or counter action on the other part - that is what attorney's do.
3- Thinking of court can eventually consume you to the point you can not function.
4- It is better to be a female going to court to deal with your kids than the male (I am not trying to be sexist - it is what it is in the world). So I am saying that you have an edge at least right now. I do see that changing some but slowly still. (refer to #1).
5- Keep your head about you. Your lawyer and kids need you thinking straight.
6- Nobody can predict outcomes. If it is important enough to go then you have to go.
7- Nobody wins in court. Court is not set up to be a win / win. At best it is lose / lose in the end.
8- Nobody can make you feel better about court. It is stressful and in many cases hurtful.

I don't mean to be negative but I do beleive the best way to handle the fact you need to go is to be honest with yourself so you can be prepared. Don't go in thinking it is going to be something it is not capable of being. Remember, you have to way the risk and the process and if you determine you must go, then you know what to expect if you are honest with yourself.

One more thing, your attorney will always present the positive side. They have to. Always, always ask what alternative outcomes can happen so that you can weight the risk. (Sorry, but I tried to be honest here. The last thing I needed was a "pep talk" only to find out the truth later. You asked, so I would not do that to you.)

Finally, if you feel you are right then go for it. If you are going to be hurtful or for revenge, then think twice. If you are going to help your kids - no choice - make it happen and don't stop until it is complete. They deserve that.

Try, very, very VERY hard to settle out of court if at all possible.

The advice given so far is great. Just want to add, be prepared for any outcome, and come to terms with whatever it may be. And always do the right thing, no matter what. I have a coparent that loves the sympathy card, and tries to be the friend to the kids first. I was the one who was not "fun", by necessity, but doing the right thing won out in the end.

Good luck to you!