How do I stop from getting so obsessive about weight loss?

abbylg1983
abbylg1983 Posts: 177 Member
in Health and Weight Loss
OK, I've always been obsessed with my weight and thinking I am fat. When I was 4-5 years old, I would only wear pants or long shorts because I did not like my thighs showing- I thought they were too fat. My parents have been on and off diets since I was born but they never talked about it much and never said anything to me about my appearance so I don't know where it came from.

For most of my 20s I just ate everything in moderation (although I drank quite a bit) and stayed at a normal weight for my height (although with a higher body fat % than I would like). After having a baby I joined myfitnesspal and started doing a lot more research on weight loss and nutrition. I have read countless paleo books. I read Jillian Michaels book on metabolism. I read Wheat Belly, Why We Get Fat, Cheat to Lose, Eat to Live- just about every current popular diet book. I am about 5-7 pounds down from my regular weight and have been for about 2-3 months. I am pretty thin now but not skinny.

OK, here is my issue. My husband and parents started talking eating disorders because all I ever wanted to talk about was things I read about nutrition and exercise- for about 6 months, that was all I was interested in. I would look at my friends eating and drinking whatever and wonder why they didn't care about being thin like I did. I would eat a brownie then spend all day hating myself for it. I whine all day long to my coworkers if they bring in treats (and they usually do) and I eat them because I have no willpower when chocolate covered peanuts are staring at me. I started reading websites (I won't name names) geared towards extremely skinny (or aspiring skinny) women.

So, how do I get over this? Has anyone else gone through this? I do not starve myself and don't count calories anymore- but since I did for so long, and I eat the same things week to week, I have a pretty good idea of what I am consuming. I am guessing I probably eat around 1500-1600 calories per day. My husband and parents say I am too skinny and I know I am not, but I just ignore them now and don't talk about my weight loss obsession to them anymore. How do I get out of something that has been such a focal point of my life for so long?

I want to be healthy, but I also want a healthy relationship with food and my body, and I don't have that right now.

Replies

  • cmriverside
    cmriverside Posts: 34,416 Member
    I suggest a little counseling. Maybe medication. That sounds really diificult, and obsessive thoughts can be controlled with some good tools and/or medication. Take back your life. You have the power to heal yourself, you just need a little guidance.
  • MelissaGraham7
    MelissaGraham7 Posts: 406 Member
    of course, you describe a vast majority of us on here. I also talk quite a bit about nutrition, exercise, weight loss (to the point of boring friends and family at times). I have to really work on my will power. I would whine if in an office though luckily now work from home. ANyway, most of what you describe many of us go through or have worked through. I personally don't consider myself obsessive. I've read a plethora of books and glean from them what I can. I did try a wide assortment of types of diets but ultimately decided on what works for me. Still, most of us like to read, learn, and discuss and perhaps to some we seem obsessed yet we know what it is like to be fat. The important thing is to try to strike up a balance. Social support is excellent. MFP is great and so would some family and friends in support. Take a breath. FOr me, when I look at this as a LIFESTYLE change and then ask myself if whatever I am contemplating can be done for the rest of my life...it helps keep me grounded. If I have a day where I might spurge and my will power dips, I give myself permission to not beat myself up over it as none of us is perfect. Remember each day is just a day in the rest of your life and if you are being more healthy than unhealthy you are on the right path.
  • mestop1
    mestop1 Posts: 54 Member
    Try focusing on something els... Sometimes a new hobby or volunteering for a charity can help someone refocus on things that are truly important and give them something else to talk about.
  • Anya06
    Anya06 Posts: 95
    OK, I've always been obsessed with my weight and thinking I am fat. When I was 4-5 years old, I would only wear pants or long shorts because I did not like my thighs showing- I thought they were too fat. My parents have been on and off diets since I was born but they never talked about it much and never said anything to me about my appearance so I don't know where it came from.

    For most of my 20s I just ate everything in moderation (although I drank quite a bit) and stayed at a normal weight for my height (although with a higher body fat % than I would like). After having a baby I joined myfitnesspal and started doing a lot more research on weight loss and nutrition. I have read countless paleo books. I read Jillian Michaels book on metabolism. I read Wheat Belly, Why We Get Fat, Cheat to Lose, Eat to Live- just about every current popular diet book. I am about 5-7 pounds down from my regular weight and have been for about 2-3 months. I am pretty thin now but not skinny.

    OK, here is my issue. My husband and parents started talking eating disorders because all I ever wanted to talk about was things I read about nutrition and exercise- for about 6 months, that was all I was interested in. I would look at my friends eating and drinking whatever and wonder why they didn't care about being thin like I did. I would eat a brownie then spend all day hating myself for it. I whine all day long to my coworkers if they bring in treats (and they usually do) and I eat them because I have no willpower when chocolate covered peanuts are staring at me. I started reading websites (I won't name names) geared towards extremely skinny (or aspiring skinny) women.

    So, how do I get over this? Has anyone else gone through this? I do not starve myself and don't count calories anymore- but since I did for so long, and I eat the same things week to week, I have a pretty good idea of what I am consuming. I am guessing I probably eat around 1500-1600 calories per day. My husband and parents say I am too skinny and I know I am not, but I just ignore them now and don't talk about my weight loss obsession to them anymore. How do I get out of something that has been such a focal point of my life for so long?

    I want to be healthy, but I also want a healthy relationship with food and my body, and I don't have that right now.

    Reading this I thought you were describing me....and I feel so scared as I am in my 20s and sometimes think if I dont change my attitude to food I will end up with an eating disorder...I love food and I mostly eat freshly cooked/baked stuff...but I feel guilty if I allow myself a treat so to say...there is a constant battle in my head as I will have a chocolate or a biscuit as I think thats what normal people should do in moderation but then will hate myself forever and will punish myself by doing more exercise.I am trying to maintain now as I promised my husband once I reach this goal I wont go lower but now I am so tempted to see just how low can I go....its very hard so I totally get you...I am trying to stay positive and set myself other goals such as run a 10k etc something none weight related
    xx
  • GomesDavid
    GomesDavid Posts: 149
    OK, I've always been obsessed with my weight and thinking I am fat. When I was 4-5 years old, I would only wear pants or long shorts because I did not like my thighs showing- I thought they were too fat. My parents have been on and off diets since I was born but they never talked about it much and never said anything to me about my appearance so I don't know where it came from.

    For most of my 20s I just ate everything in moderation (although I drank quite a bit) and stayed at a normal weight for my height (although with a higher body fat % than I would like). After having a baby I joined myfitnesspal and started doing a lot more research on weight loss and nutrition. I have read countless paleo books. I read Jillian Michaels book on metabolism. I read Wheat Belly, Why We Get Fat, Cheat to Lose, Eat to Live- just about every current popular diet book. I am about 5-7 pounds down from my regular weight and have been for about 2-3 months. I am pretty thin now but not skinny.

    OK, here is my issue. My husband and parents started talking eating disorders because all I ever wanted to talk about was things I read about nutrition and exercise- for about 6 months, that was all I was interested in. I would look at my friends eating and drinking whatever and wonder why they didn't care about being thin like I did. I would eat a brownie then spend all day hating myself for it. I whine all day long to my coworkers if they bring in treats (and they usually do) and I eat them because I have no willpower when chocolate covered peanuts are staring at me. I started reading websites (I won't name names) geared towards extremely skinny (or aspiring skinny) women.

    So, how do I get over this? Has anyone else gone through this? I do not starve myself and don't count calories anymore- but since I did for so long, and I eat the same things week to week, I have a pretty good idea of what I am consuming. I am guessing I probably eat around 1500-1600 calories per day. My husband and parents say I am too skinny and I know I am not, but I just ignore them now and don't talk about my weight loss obsession to them anymore. How do I get out of something that has been such a focal point of my life for so long?

    I want to be healthy, but I also want a healthy relationship with food and my body, and I don't have that right now.

    hmm!! There is no easy solution. All we can do is work to increase our own self-awareness and be willing to take an honest look at the role food plays in our lives. After that, the goal is to find balance, whether you are trying to recover from an eating disorder, or manage your weight for health reasons, or are recognizing that maybe food has become more of a coping mechanism than you would like.

    There are many professionals who can help you find this balance. It is also important to remember that even the process of finding balance is an imperfect journey. However, it is one that can be worked towards with a little patience and grace.

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