I just vanished for a few weeks & I'm so sorry!

Hello everyone,

I joined my fitness pal in September and I loved it. I loved finding all of YOU and reading about your journey's and finding stuff we had in common. I got in the swing of things quickly and I loved offering encouragement even more than receiving it myself. Then suddenly I disappeared. I'm guessing that kind of thing happens on these sites and long-term members are familiar with how it goes. I noticed that someone who sent me a message to check-in on me also subsequently deleted me! I guess they figured I wasn't coming back and their energy would be better spent on those that could prove their daily commitment. I have not been a good 'pal' to you by just disappearing and for that I'm really sorry to all my friends here. I went from one extreme to another. Tracking and being active - to not logging in at all, not checking my Gmail account and just eating whatever I wanted. Yes I had some stressful things going on.. but that's life and I realise I need to learn how not to neglect myself during those times. I continue to suffer with my health because the wrong foods are like a 'poison pill' since I had my gallbladder removed and my liver has enlarged and is fattier than ever before. I'm always in some sort of pain - so it should be a no-brainer right? Stop taking the 'poison-pill's' and start healing and feeling better right? I'm baffled by how de-sensitized I am to my own health woes and how sickness doesn't motivate me to change what I eat. It's because food is such an enormous comfort to me. Every single day I think about and/or plan to make changes. I often wake up and think "today's the day"...then by the end of the day it's obvious the day was just like every other day. My journey ahead can't be about calories alone because my body is craving daily nourishment and healing. I need to juice everyday, I need to eat something raw everyday and I need to cut out sugar and grains for a period of time as advised by a medical professional. All I can say is that every day I will keep trying. In the time I was away from myfitnesspal... I hadn't given up. I was just hiding and giving myself permission to eat what I wanted without recording the details. Yes, I was also disappointed in myself. I'm re-reading the book Fat Sick And Nearly Dead, I'm also reading a weightloss memoir called "Half-Assed' and I follow various wellness movements on Facebook.. including the 'Crazy, Sex' thing at KrisCarr.com So I'm here to tell you, I'll keep trying every day and again I'm so sorry for my silence. Thank you so much to those that left comments and sent me notes and didn't de-friend me.